On a very warm Saturday afternoon

Something came to me yesterday in regards to my present mood, and it was all about the aftermath of the storm that whipped through here on Monday morning.  I've been agitated more than usual (sort of my normal mentality, I'll admit), and was trying to figure it out.  Then it occurred to me that it's not NORMAL to drive up the street or into my mom's neighborhood (three miles away) and see houses literally crushed by huge trees.  That's not supposed to happen.  And to see the homes when the trees have been removed is upsetting as well.  Smushed.  These are places I drive by daily and have come to see as safe places to be.  It's so unsettling.

We're expected to pick up the pieces of our lives and move past things too quickly.  Even now I can hear a chainsaw running and utility trucks are all over town loaded with logs on their backs.  We've seen cranes lifting trees off of houses and none of this is what's seen on a daily basis.

I need to be able to process it, you know?  To actually grieve over the loss of homes.  The mundane, routine and safe sounds so good at times, doesn't it?

Things whirling in my head

Thinking I could do with a mental retreat, sort of like in a monastery-like setting.  I want to escape responsibilities and adulthood for awhile.  Not for a really long time, but enough that I feel refreshed.

Lots of running around to do today with Mom's physical therapy, taking boys to work since we're down one vehicle today, and figuring out what to do for dinner.  Plus, let's not forget the homeschooling, which those who need me tend to forget.  I'm not a circus performer, you know.  And, my goodness, I'm so tired of buying gas for my Suburban.  The days get sadly routine with the same things going on day in and day out, with little relief.  I know I'm not much different than lots of folks, but my melancholy temperament doesn't always do me favors.

One thing I struggle with is feeling that I don't have 'permission' to fuss about certain things.  That I should shut up and cope.  And, you know, that gets old after awhile.  It's not that anyone is telling me this nonsense, but with my upbringing and the people I've associated with in the past---well, it's a natural place for my head to go.  To feel like I have to be strong, to put up with things that are more difficult than I'd prefer----and frankly, I'm tired of it.

Reminded of a line in the movie, 'Finding Nemo'---"Find a happy place.  Find a happy place."

Going to turn off my worries (if possible), dump my prayers in the Lord's lap, and do what I can with what's in front of me.  I love the mentality some people have about the week's end and Friday in particular.  You hear folks ask one another what they're going to do for the weekend, implying that fun is the ticket.  When did I stop thinking about things like that?  Have I allowed parenting and all that that entails to dictate my joy?  Well, nuts to that.  Must amend.

As my motto goes---just today.  Just do today.  Only problem is that today is darned full.

A bit of this and a little bit of that

• I can count around 10+ houses I've seen that have trees laying on top of them, all within a 2 mile radius of our house
• Gary's in the backyard now, having fixed our roof with the friend, looking at our huge oak and trying to figure out how to trim part of it down
• We get nervous when the wind blows strong
• Told Gary today, though, that while a lot of trees fell, that the majority of them didn't---my brand of twisted logic, I guess
• Change of subject
• Was finally able to buy the April copy of Romantic Homes magazine with Lidy's French Garden House in it---I visit her blog and think that she's awfully sweet 

• Speaking of folks I know---my extra-special friend, Patricia, has new blog pages open at: Picturing Plants (my personal favorite, I admit), Picturing Birds, and Picturing Angels.  Lovely pictures, and showing an incredible amount of research on Patricia's part
• Oldest daughter bought me a copy of the Mosaic Bible (in imitation leather, but you'd think it was real)---and it's SO pretty
• Considering going to River Jordan's book signing tonight if the time works out---she's so cool.  Her new book is called 'Praying for Strangers:  An Adventure of the Human Spirit'.  There's a video of her talking about the book there at Amazon as well.  She commented on my blog back in January, so I feel a special affection for her writing :) 
• Tyndale Publishers has 3 free e-books available for download for the month of April
• Must go rest now.  About time to go fetch the kids at my mom's, and I need to chill for a bit beforehand

Mid-week, and all is well

Just back home with the 4 least of my offspring after a trip to the library.  Always a good idea, and one that I enjoy more afterward when we're here in bed tucked up with our separate piles.  Bliss, for sure.  I'm not so keen on crowds, with the continual watching of young ones, keeping an eagle eye on my little girls especially, just proves that mothering is exhausting.  I can only let my guard down at our house.  Goodness.  Glad to be back, but it was good to go as well.

It's a beautiful day besides.  Quite breezy and a perfect clothes-drying day.  Middle daughter washed her sheets and I just hung them out.  The pugs were enjoying a sit-down earlier in the sunshine and their coats smelled all warm and cozy when we brought them back in.  Violet turns into a noodle when she gets warm and just melts into your arms if you have to pick her up.  Her brain melts as well, and has selective hearing loss when she has to come in the house at what she considers an inopportune time.

Opal, our shepherd, is especially difficult to get back into the house.  Her favorite thing to do in life is to run up and down the fence-line with the 2 dogs next-door (whose owner I love, though I'm not so keen on her big dogs---barking fools that they are).  Anyway, I was hanging out those sheets and the big dogs were out with me.  Middle daughter called Opal to come in so she could let out the pugs (Opal tends to enjoy grabbing Violet around her middle and tossing her---not a good idea, though Violet thinks it's a stitch).  Opal high-tailed it into the house in an instant.  I asked middle daughter what her trick was and she answered me with, "I said, Opal, come inside."  Then she cracked up.  The joke's on me because I don't get no respect from Opal---often being driven to crack the wooden spoon against the door frame to get any response.  Maybe if I talk all sweet and adorable it'd work.  Not likely.

Now off to read.  Dogs all napping in the house.  Neighbor dogs quiet as well.  It's waffles and some sort of sausage balls for dinner...the sausage will stretch further if I do those.  It's all about the cafeteria-style, loading up the plates mentality around here.  A girl could go crazy with the amount of food and toilet paper this household goes through.  Man alive.

(opal looking all smarmy for the camera back when it snowed)

Yesterday

For the past 36 hours or so, life has slowed to a near stop at our house, and here in town (photo not of our home).  A storm literally ripped through the city just before lunchtime on Monday, knocking down trees and creating lots of havoc.  At one point I was standing in the living room, listening to the wind and watching the weather updates and I told one of the kids that suddenly the wind just sounded different, and different in a bad way--it's like it was fuller and deeper-sounding.  I'd never heard anything like it.  Turns out a tornado was spotted a couple of miles from here, so maybe......just maybe that's what I heard.  Whatever it was, it tore some shingles from the roof, but thankfully our old oak tree survived and we're all fine.

But still, it's odd how the world keeps going at it when life for us has been a bit odd.  It's strange to drive through the neighborhood and see trees through roofs and in one case, the front gable of a house was sitting in the front yard after being shoved off the house from the back by a huge oak. And that's just in the next block up from us.

Many of our neighbors are without power, but we only lost our Internet/cable t.v. connection for over a day.  Not a huge loss, but enough to separate us from the outside world for a bit.  Anyway, a sweet friend will help Gary repair the roof later on this week, and that's a relief.  The insurance company was playing hard to get in terms of being agreeable to help, which is interesting in itself considering how much money we've poured into their pockets over the years.  Sadly typical.

Life goes on, no matter what, it just does.  And that's a huge blessing.  Normal stuff.  Sometimes I just crave it.

(photo from the commercial appeal, the local newspaper)

Saturday afternoon

Annoying pugs barking at with the idiot dog who lives next door.  I'm not a fan of Labradors (though we have one, maybe that's why), because they bark for no reason ALL the time.  Least they're cheerful, but are sort of stupid.  Must go fetch the pugs in a minute, because they're not acting very mature either.

And boiling water for noodles that'll go in macaroni and cheese for tonight's dinner.  We leave for church in about 45 minutes, so trying to get things underway so there's not much to do later.  Took the kids to the museum near us this morning to see the thousands of tulips they'd put in, plus a pretty great art exhibit.  Then we all worked together to do the yard.  I got to weed-eat, which is a personal favorite, though I'm out of practice and the edge is a bit lousy.  OK, a lot a bit lousy.

Anyway, that's what's up here.  Going to take it easy tomorrow and might take a personal day on Monday.  Don't have to take Mom to the physical therapist until Tuesday morning, so some time just for me might be a good idea.

Hope everyone else has as pretty weather as we're having.  All the neighbors are out talking and working, and walking their dogs.  I do love this old, shabby spot of town.

Friday's notes

Gracious me.  Life is busy.  Woke up late, which seems to be my habit of a Friday.  The week catches up with me by then, and you'll usually find me sleeping in after the kids have gotten up.  Oh well, least it probably prevents my head from exploding, yes?

Took my mom to her 1pm physical therapy session, and while she seemed a bit anxious when we got there, by the time she was done, her whole mood had changed.  Got her endorphins kicking in, most likely.  And she was standing up straighter and even her speech was clearer.  I read a book lately with an elderly character having a fall and a broken arm as well, and the author mentioned her voice being shaky after the accident.  I've noticed that about my mom as well---when she feels unsure, her words are a bit trembly.  Not so after the therapy.  She goes again twice next week and we'll see after that how much more help will be necessary.

Now the weekend spills out ahead of me and with the temperatures to be around 80, I think we're in for a delightful couple of days.  Groceries are in the house, the clothes are all washed (for now!), and I feel hopeful.  Can't see very far ahead of me what God has planned, but He provided for our 'literal' daily bread in a very sweet way for the weekend and for that, I'm very grateful.

One last thing...hope you enjoy the header photo.  Every spring, oldest daughter brings me a bouquet of wisteria and Lady Bank's roses from the antique shop where she works.  Every year she does this, and I look forward to it every time.  This year I just plopped them into the turquoise Mason jar without any arranging, stuck it on the bookshelf, and they instantly made the room look prettier.  Gary took the photo, which required no tweaking at all.  Just perfection as it was. :)

Must go now.  Take care.