Thinking I could do with a mental retreat, sort of like in a monastery-like setting. I want to escape responsibilities and adulthood for awhile. Not for a really long time, but enough that I feel refreshed.
Lots of running around to do today with Mom's physical therapy, taking boys to work since we're down one vehicle today, and figuring out what to do for dinner. Plus, let's not forget the homeschooling, which those who need me tend to forget. I'm not a circus performer, you know. And, my goodness, I'm so tired of buying gas for my Suburban. The days get sadly routine with the same things going on day in and day out, with little relief. I know I'm not much different than lots of folks, but my melancholy temperament doesn't always do me favors.
One thing I struggle with is feeling that I don't have 'permission' to fuss about certain things. That I should shut up and cope. And, you know, that gets old after awhile. It's not that anyone is telling me this nonsense, but with my upbringing and the people I've associated with in the past---well, it's a natural place for my head to go. To feel like I have to be strong, to put up with things that are more difficult than I'd prefer----and frankly, I'm tired of it.
Reminded of a line in the movie, 'Finding Nemo'---"Find a happy place. Find a happy place."
Going to turn off my worries (if possible), dump my prayers in the Lord's lap, and do what I can with what's in front of me. I love the mentality some people have about the week's end and Friday in particular. You hear folks ask one another what they're going to do for the weekend, implying that fun is the ticket. When did I stop thinking about things like that? Have I allowed parenting and all that that entails to dictate my joy? Well, nuts to that. Must amend.
As my motto goes---just today. Just do today. Only problem is that today is darned full.
