Feeling smooth today

I realize that it's the continual interruptions that make life hard for me around here.  Not unusual for a mother of many...or a mother of only one.  My brain reacts like a car with a stick-shift and a new driver who's not got the hang of it.  A jumpy ride at best.

Will sit here at my laptop with thoughts in my head that need to be typed out.  Youngest son comes to me to ask which new Lego figure I'd pick out if I was picking.  Least one offers me a sip of her iced tea through a straw, and then shows me the plastic container of acorns she so happily collected this morning.  Another child has a question about schoolwork, and the washer needs refilling, followed by my cell phone ringing.  And it's only been about 10 minutes since I first sat down. 

My situation isn't new to any mother on the planet, but it's important that I don't get frustrated in the process.  Thankfully I'm getting much more sleep lately.  Have gotten in the routine this week of going back to bed for an hour or so after getting up with the dogs at daybreak.  I'm more settled and feel nicer.  I've been way sleep-deprived.  And while my husband admits that I'm not a ray of sunshine all the time, then he says that he's not either.  Good man.

And a good day ahead.  Third son is buying dinner, so he gets to pick the menu.  Will take second son to work and then pop into the grocery.  Fourth son is making something yummy with cocoa later on, so who can complain.  I know I won't! :)

What I'm wishing for...

(click image and you'll be taken to photobucket...so cool!)

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Homecomings

Still get a tingle when my husband's truck pulls up in the evening when he comes home from work. I really do absolutely adore him. That last rumble seems to excite some others here as well---the pugs get all twitchy and bark, and various children come out of hiding. I'm thinking that that's the way it should be.

How sad to come home from a long day at work and have nobody to greet you. And I'm not talking about folks who live alone, either. No hugs or kisses, but empty air. When the wife and kids go on with their business, and don't seek you out. And that final comment...oh, you're home. And this coming a bit after they come in the door.

Makes a person think.

Cleaning the house

Still considering ordering the book, Keeping House---The Litany of Everyday Life by Margaret Kim Peterson. And after visiting a neighbor's house the other day and finding myself shocked once again at the disorder and dirt folks live in on a daily basis, I think this book will feed a part of me that needs a taste of tidiness.

From what I'm able to learn from the pages of the book available to read online, Mrs. Peterson talks about the 'sacredness of the everyday' which is a catch phrase I see around that really appeals to me. And with the disturbing memory of my neighbor's kitchen (similar to another friend's house) sticking in my brain, I'm puzzled by our ability to live in filth and to do it on a daily basis. It seems to say something about our mental health when we'll willingly look at a disgusting amount of dirt everyday and not mind it. Or maybe we get so worn down that we don't even see the mess. I can be that way, and hate that part of me. I'm not even close to being a good housekeeper and have been concerned at my inability to stay on top of the heavy cleaning. I think that at times I've just given up.

But there's dirt and then there's filth and there is a distinction. Letting things get way out of hand and allowing ourselves to slip are two different things. Where is our head when we'll leave the stove to stay continually in an unhealthy condition? When we allow the mold in the shower to stay for day after day after day, what's the message? What about the times when we don't even apologize for the mess, but find it being a part of who we are?

That's just wrong, and yes, I have been guilty.

Seems this book covers the idea of making housekeeping a spiritual exercise. Of making our cleaning a part of who we are---and taking part in the ritual of cleaning for the blessing it gives to ourselves and more especially, to our families. I like the idea of Brother Lawrence in his attitude of a prayerful attitude about household chores. It's really not for us, but for Him.

It seems that blinders have fallen from my eyes, and I'm seeing things anew. It's not about whining with not having the time to clean, but having enough self-respect to do the job right. And really, not just do the chores, but to adjust our attitudes so that the physical act of cleaning is more than that. A bit like praying over our families while we fold their clothes---the same mindset could be used in other mindless chores around the house. Then, maybe, we'd actually find ourselves enjoying the process.

And, by the way, with a limited budget and with being so busy all of the time, things do get out of hand here. Many times I find myself totally frustrated at the ability of our house to spew over itself and not be self-cleaning. But that's an issue for another day. :)

A cool weekend

My sweet friend, Tina, gave me a very generous Amazon gift card, and I've had fun picking things out. So far, it's come in really handy....got one small thing for each of the family, and a couple of those Persephone books for myself. Very nice. And now, since I'm such a book addict, am looking at a title that's new to me---as is the author. The book is called Keeping House---The Litany of Everyday Life by Margaret Kim Peterson. I've been able to scan quite a bit of it with the readers online and it looks intriguing. Wondered if anyone here had read it? Would love some feed-back from folks I know.

The rest of the weekend looks quiet. Church tomorrow morning, rather than tonight, since some of the boys work this evening. The Amazing Race to watch tomorrow night, which wins the vote over Masterpiece Mystery. Just lots of nothing. And I need lots of nothing. :)

Take care.

Cool, calm and collected

Feeling smooth, and hopefully the mood will continue.  Sometimes I wake up and the busyness begins right off the bat, and I end up all wired and frustrated.  Today began too early with the dogs, but I did go back to bed for a bit of a nap.  Then had to wake up oldest son because his alarm didn't go off.  He was calm about it, so that was a bonus.  His mom very kindly had gotten his clothes out of the dryer last night, so they were hanging or folded neatly.  Another son commented this morning that THAT must be why oldest son still lives at home. :)  I'm not ready for him to move out, so whatever works, you know?

Not intending on anything earth-shattering to have to be handled today.  Watching the weather map at a cold front that's poised to the west of us...and hoping we actually do get rain falling from the sky.  It's already a tad cooler outside, and with it supposedly going to be in the fifties in the nights here, this weekend, I'm excited.  Well, as excited as I ever get.  I'm kinda low-key.

(thinking my command of grammar is a bit poorly in this post!)

Alfredo sauce on pasta with some baby lima beans I'll simmer later on for dinner.  A beige dinner.  Must rustle up some parsley or something to liven up the color, eh?  

Enjoy your day!

(photo courtesy of tumblr)

Thursday afternoon

Sitting here with a pile of new library books, dogs all slung out on the floor, and lots of nothing to do.  Younger kids are lunching at my mom's and the older ones are working.  Quiche for dinner, and minor tidying to do to the house.

Ahhh.  Quiet.

Wednesday morn.

• errands today, including grocery shopping for my mom, which has become a regular routine
• feeling much more *myself* after upping my iron intake---have been having anemia-type symptoms, and more perky this morning
• praying that the cool front expected this weekend brings rain
• grateful for the work in gary's shop, and the ability to pay bills
• windows up for the a.m., but anticipating heat this afternoon in the upper 90s
• going to stop at the dollar store on my way home (after running around) to buy headbands for the least one----the one she wears all the time has *sprung*!
• leftover spaghetti for dinner
• reading dorothy whipple's they knew mr. knight, but am getting bogged down in the middle of the book
• not much else to say---pretty mundane around these parts, but i like it that way
• take care, sweet ones :)
  

Been living with a subtle headache since the weekend, and have noticed that I've not been as sensitive to the heat as the family.  As a matter of fact, have been getting chilly with the air conditioning on---and it's been around 100F. outside.  Then it hit me last night, all of a sudden.  Anemia.  Again.

Thought I'd been keeping on top of my iron, but apparently not.  Took some before bed, hoping it'd not wake me up, and all's well.  Must've skipped a couple of days of taking my vitamins and not realized it.  Such a small change in routine can make a huge difference. 

A cool morning before another hot day

Tea and pomegranate yogurt for breakfast. And just put some red grapes into the freezer after a quick rinse, for nibbles later on. With my worrisome mind lately, have gotten off the watch-what-you-eat bandwagon. Have found that I feel much better when I limit the flour and white sugar I inhale. And with a houseful of kids who enjoy to bake and eat what they cook, it's truly an uphill battle. :)

But speaking of food---my husband has taken a hankering for homemade spaghetti for dinner, so that's the plan, with leftovers for tomorrow night. I'll be out and about on Wednesday, so that'll work out nicely. As for today, there's tidying up from company and a need to be grounded. Might get the fall wreaths out of the attic to putter with, and move the sprinkler about in the front yard. Still can't remember when we've had a decent rain. We've taken to turning on the hose at a light trickle and leaving it underneath various bushes and trees. Oh, how I long for a day of drizzly, cool rain. That sounds just wonderful.

Maybe soon...

A good day ahead

Thinking that this week will be less traumatic than the last. Too much going on in my head, and with my husband's shop being quiet, it's been a stretch. But he's got a Grandfather clock to build now---for a client he's done work for before---a delightful woman, and he'll enjoy the job. What's sort of cool about this job is that my oldest brother will provide the works for the clock....that's what he does...repair and restore clocks. A motley crew, eh?

As for today, oldest daughter's best friend will fly out at dinner-time, so the kids have today to visit some more. It's been fun for everyone. And this friend is the oldest child in a family of 10 children, so a holiday away from chores and such has *hopefully* been a good change for her. She's asked if she can clear the table, etc., and we keep telling her that guests are exempt from helping. You can almost hear her audibly sigh. :)

Not quite ready to get it in gear, so will rest a tiny bit more. Enjoy your day!

Fun-ness

MARCEL the Shell...you've got to watch this. So cute. :)

'The Black Madonna' by Davis Bunn

The Black Madonna by Davis Bunn (formerly known by his readers as T. Davis Bunn) is the continuing saga of art dealer Storm Syrrell. It's full of international travel, deception and adventure, and Bunn tells a story well. This is escapist reading, and the story quickly draws in the reader.

I could easily see this book in movie form---and the story of the Black Madonna of Czestochowa in Poland, which he centers the story around, is even more of a draw since it's an actual painting (available to view on Wikipedia). Reading about history interwoven into fiction is always appealing to me, and I'll look forward to follow-up books in this series.

(this book was provided free for review by Glass Road PR)

At Thursday's end

• Little girls sharing their big sister's bed since she's staying at my mom's house with her out-of-town girlfriend.  My mother has more beds!
• Husband looking at used motorcycles online----keeping the dream alive
• Me enjoying that the house is a bit more tidy than usual
• Looking forward to browsing my new pile of library books after a hot shower
• Older boys watching Animal Planet and chattering and laughing among themselves
• I'm ready to rest and put the day to bed
• ...yet praying for an optimistic outlook for tomorrow :)

from InspireCo.

This is so cute. :) Wonderfulness from Amy Powers.

Thankful for...

• the okra from a neighbor that middle daughter just breaded and fried--we ate it all up
• the shipping refund I just received from Amazon regarding a birthday gift that was supposed to arrive in 2 days (on fourth son's birthday on Saturday) yet came in five days--too cool
• our kids who are generous by nature
• having the windows up and the curtains slightly blowing, and enjoying that before we have to shut them and turn on the air later on this afternoon
• oldest daughter's best girlfriend who will fly in from Oklahoma tomorrow morning
• the ability to have moments of not worrying about the next thing
• always having something new to read...or something old to enjoy again
• a faithful husband, who remains true to his beliefs even when life crunches
• the fact that each day is new and fresh---always a relief, yet each one requires an attitude adjustment that acknowledges that God is in control and I'm not

Now, remember to take in the day and give it a chance. :)

'The Falling Away' by T. L. Hines

T. L. Hines' newest book, The Falling Away, was gripping from the beginning.  The main character, Dylan Runs Ahead, has a complex life full of problems, but clearly the Lord has His hand on him.

The book description on the back cover says to "enter a world where things aren't quite what they seem" and that's a very apt statement.  At times it's difficult to tell the good guys from the bad ones, but that's often the way of real life as well.

The reader follows Dylan, a Crow Indian, through his issues with guilt, sin and redemption. It's what most believers go through, yet not always in such a dramatic way.   The simple fact that he's a war veteran dealing with addiction and his ties to the Reservation makes for a more complex situation, plus the fact that he's seeing things in  a strange, altered sort of way.  And I love the book's ending.  It just makes sense.

Well done, Mr. Hines.

(this book was provided free from BookSneeze/Thomas Nelson for review)

A wonderful quote

“It was early evening when my journey began. The train was full, but not yet uncomfortably full, of people going home. It is important to insist–you will see why in a moment–that I was under no illusion about them. If anyone had asked me whether I supposed them to be specially good people or specially happy or specially clever, I should have replied with a perfectly truthful No. I knew quite well that perhaps not ten percent of the homes they were returning to would be free, even for that one night, from ill temper, jealousy, weariness, sorrow or anxiety, and yet–I could not help it—The clicking of all those garden gates, the opening of all those front doors, the unanalysable home smell in all those little halls, the hanging up of all those hats, came over my imagination with all the caress of a half-remembered bit of music. There is an extraordinary charm in others people’s domesticities. Evey lighted house, seen from the road, is magical: every pram or lawn-mower in someone else’s garden: all smells or stirs of cookery from the windows of alien kitchens.”~Present Concerns by C. S. Lewis

On this cool Monday morning

So I shared with my husband about my domain being up for renewal and I said that it was okay with me to let it slide.  He'd having nothing to do with that.  Minor fussing on both of our parts, but that said, I was able to keep my website up.  Paid up this morning.  He is good to me.

And there's something about having to let things go that we're attached to that's maddening.  When oldest daughter and I had to *temporarily I hope* walk away from dance lessons, there was a feeling of sadness.  Really.  Currently we're looking around town for another place that's affordable, but haven't lit on one yet.  But still, it's sad that that's had to end for now.  And too bad that as you advance (with this particular studio) the fees increase dramatically. 

But for my website to have had the possibility, if even briefly, being over----well, that made me sad as well.  It's something I've worked hard on, and I'm thinking that it'll be even better now.  Regret seems to inspire anticipation, at least in this instance.  There's the excitement of playing with the text and all again, after a long sabbatical. 

....and this day seems to have a bit of sparkle about it.  I'm looking forward to seeing how it pans out.  It'll be a good day. :)

9/11 Bud Commercial - AIRED ONLY ONCE

Early Saturday

Woke up in rebellion this morning, partly just not wanting to mess with the dogs, and partly because I'm simply not a morning person.  Then saw the weather report, which is hinting at a thunderstorm today.  Then got frustrated at the reality of my husband's sale being OUTSIDE, and wondering how that will all play out.

And then it was like I realized that God is in control.  Not that I'm ever unaware of that fact, but I do fight against it.  I want to run the world sometimes, you know?  I want to hand out miracles and be in charge. 

But I love it when His power and quietness wash over me and I do take a deep breath.  And when I quit fighting my uphill battle, there's a joy at the back of that feeling.  A relinquishment.  No matter how much I might struggle against my current angst, the bottom like is that God cares for me and has a plan. 

I am special. :)

Friday night

Enjoy your weekend-----a sentence I just wrote in a friend's comment box, realizing how much I need to apply that concept to myself. Work is done for many folks once Friday hits, and the attitude is one of fun and relaxation. I have a hard time with that one. But I'm trying. :)

Fourth son turns 17 tomorrow (yes, a 9/11 birthday), and the presents and birthday dinner ingredients are bought and waiting to be fiddled with/baked/wrapped. Many things going on tomorrow besides, with husband having a sale in front of the shop where he works, and some things are pictured here--(which he's updating even this very minute) along with middle daughter selling some of her tiny crocheted purses. We're praying for much success, especially since their sale is lined up with the crafts festival that's held in that part of town each year, at this time.

Time to turn off my head now. Rest and take it easy. You do the same.

(painting by currier and ives)

Website changes

It's possible that my website, The Mother's Hour (not sure how long the link will work), will be going bye-bye after this weekend.  It's still up in the air.  But, with that being a possibility, I've moved the archives (which are sadly gathering dust anyway) to Wordpress.com.  The address there is linked here.  Funny thing is, with me blogging here, the website has been on the back burner way too long.  Maybe it's just time to make this change.  Lots of my online friends aren't even aware that it exists, and that says something, doesn't it?

We'll see how this flies.  It's sort of a financial decision, and partly my letting go of one responsibility that has been more of a weight than a pleasure in recent months. 

Just passing the word along.

Late on Thursday

The kids were all out of the house today, so I had some time to myself. Time to talk to God, eat a sandwich my mom sent me home with (some of the children spent the afternoon with her), begin a new library book---Alexander McCall Smith's Corduroy Mansions, and get a few groceries before I fetched them back. And at the grocery as a treat for myself I got a bunch of mums to put in a vase that were discounted ($2) but which still look pretty---and they smell so wonderful. I even stopped at the dollar store and bought myself a new water glass. Just small treats, but something I've gotten out of the habit of doing.

Then got out with oldest daughter this evening. She wanted to go to Fresh Market to look at/sniff candles, and she bought a couple of Root votives in yummy fall-ish scents.

Now drinking a bowl of decaf Chai. Trying to take better care of myself, and avoid looking life as a battle and something to be borne. Tiny steps. That's what I need to focus on.

Tomorrow is wide open. No trips out of the house are necessary and I bought a pretty little chicken I'll simmer for a pie. With a late afternoon chocolate cake, maybe it'll be a comforting sort of day. :) All we'll lack is a thunderstorm. That'd make it perfect.

Pooh

Bear began to sigh, and then found he couldn't because he was so tightly stuck; and a tear rolled down his eye, as he said:

"Then would you read a Sustaining Book, such as would help and comfort a Wedged Bear in Great Tightness?"---from Winnie the Pooh

Have said this many times before, but...

My life feels as if it doesn't fit just now. Like pants that are too tight, and I'm not comfortable AT ALL. Truly, I see folks doing mundane, yet fun things and I always sit there with my mouth hanging open (please pardon me for being set on repeat). I really don't enjoy my life as much as I'd like. I'm too anxious and intense. I fret way too much, and continually wait for the other shoe to drop.

It's got to stop.

I set my mind to the work mentality every morning, and don't stop and goof off. I just don't. I think it's the side effect of being the mother of so many kids. There are so many things to be responsible for. And, well, being that my husband is self-employed does put a certain twist in the finances. It's hard. The security angle is not consistent and is a lifestyle that requires more faith than I seem to possess.

Wonder when I'll get it, huh? But, you know, I think the Lord is bringing this to my attention lately. Maybe with small adjustments, I'll learn some new behavior. You think? It's possible. But being of a melancholy temperament, it might be an uphill battle.

(a maid watering flowers by franck antoine bail)

It's Tuesday, but it feels like a Monday

Need to focus.  Breathe deeply.  Play.  Avoid letting life get to me.  Look up.  Be encouraged.  Have faith.  Get enough rest.  Spend some time outside each day.  Play.  Garden.  Read books that make me happy.  Allow myself to make mistakes.  Pray.  Enjoy what I'm doing.  Look to the moment and not too far ahead.  Play.  

You get the picture.

Happy Labor Day

Up before everyone else and now with the dogs tended to, I can enjoy the quiet.  The least one tends to get up at around 7am, but with the rest of the house asleep, maybe she'll rest longer.

Had some excitement with our across-the-street neighbors last night.  Now, the thing is, the woman who owns the house is wonderful and we just love her.  But her children and grandchildren can be a bit of a stretch to love.  One of her daughters (in her forties) and a younger relative got into it outside yelling and fighting just after dark, and it was going on and on.  The kids and I were watching Masterpiece Theatre and ended up lowering the window because the hollering got so loud.  My husband took the practical route and dialed the authorities and before long, they were there soon to be followed by an ambulance.  Turns out the older woman cut the younger one.  And these are relatives!  Can't wait to see what they've cooked up for the Labor Day holiday.  My husband went over to talk to the woman who owns the house, and she said she was so ashamed.  The thing is, her children are always misbehaving at her house. I just don't get it.

Why am I telling you this?  Maybe to share what delightful neighbors we have?!??!  Who knows!

The older kids are going to the fair this morning (doesn't that sound like fun?) and I'm taking the younger ones to the grocery store.  I know, a bit of a contrast in what folks get to do around here, but believe me, we'll all have fun. 

But everyone's looking forward to hamburgers and fries tonight.  Low-key and just us.  And that's the way I like it.   And maybe, just maybe, the folks around here will play it quiet as well.  We'll see.  :)

Sunday

Just delivered the Yard of the Month sign to some neighbors a few blocks away. And while I get nervous before I walk up to the houses I select, it's always a rush to see the look of pleasure that most always passes over their faces. And the funny thing is that almost, without fail, they comment on how their yards will be cut *right away*. Like they're messy? So sweet.

Taking it easy today. About to go snuggle in bed and read. Potato soup for dinner---how much easier can that be? Gardening awhile before eating and Inspector Lewis to watch after dinner on PBS. Quiet home time. Deep breaths.

Rinse and repeat. :)

(photo courtesy of morguefiles)

Our weekend

Already looking forward to our cook-out on Monday evening. All of my chickens will be off work on that day, so we're going to have some family time. It's been AGES since everyone's eaten a meal together. I even told third son (who tends to get asked places) that he's to say "no" if our neighbors invite them to eat at their family's house across town. He grinned, yet agreed, which is what he was programmed to say. :)

And getting into a relaxed mood for the remainder of the weekend. Groceries are bought, house relatively tidy, and books to read to fill the time. Just chillin' and getting refreshed in anticipation of starting our homeschool year on Tuesday. Oh, and as a reminder to self---the hummingbirds are passing through town, so need to get our feeder all filled and hung on the porch.

All is well.

A very generous give-away

There's a beautiful give-away going on at Connie Eyberg's site, and it's all about roses.  Amazing loveliness! :)  Please be sure to enter, and follow her blog as well.  Always a treat.

Small blessings

My husband's work phone rings again. :)  It's been quite a dry spell, and while the pinch isn't over, the trickle of blessing has begun.  Now, mind, repairing chairs isn't the most lucrative of work, but what he's done today (repair chairs) helps us to know that we've not been forgotten. Or be reminded that some folks have his phone number tucked away somewhere. 

'Course we know all of this, but still, the Lord knows when we've had enough.  Or maybe we think we've had enough way before He does.  That's entirely possible.  Could be we're much stronger than we believe.  Or maybe we grow stronger during trials.  I think that's the plan in His eyes.

Gonna stay the course.  Get frustrated.  Cry.  But still, stay the course.

Exhale.

Outlook

Sounding more droopy drawers, here lately, than I like.  Must look up.  Don't want to be one of those bloggers who have their heads in the sand, and are sad-sounding.  Must pay attention to the delight the Pugs show in life.  I crumbled up a piece of cornbread over their breakfasts and they're happy as can be.  Would that I got excited so easily!

Maybe I should crumble a bit over my own breakfast?!?! 

Faith and grace

And sometimes the Lord really does seem to want to put us in a place where we're putty in His hands. Where it's incredibly obvious that we don't hold the reins. I admit it. I don't. I'm a fly batting its head against the glass. Not sure how to solve the present situation (actually, I'm not meant to), and trapped between the curtain and window. Waiting for Someone to move the curtain just enough for me to get out. Or to smash me in the process.

I've got to be willing to be squashed.

Not meaning to be overly dramatic, but when God's at work but is SILENT, we've just got to hang on. This is one of the most frustrating aspects of the Christian's life. Waiting and being faithful. At the same time. I can wait all day, because I do have the gift of patience. But being faithful at the same instant is the biggest challenge. I like to practice faithfulness when I know what's around the corner. Ah, but faith is only faith when we're as ignorant as that fly.

Less of me and more of Him, remember. Unfortunately, I'm not going willingly. Patient, yet stubborn. This lesson might take awhile.

Oldest daughter reminded me yesterday of this huge spider we can watch from the front porch. It has spun a very large web, and sits there everyday just waiting. And its patience is rewarded almost daily. It'll snag a cicada or some other unfortunate being. Lots of cicadas! It's not starving, but is doing what the Lord put it here on this earth for----spinning and eating. The lesson here? Just wait, do what you're meant to do, be faithful and your patience will be rewarded.

I'm ready. :)