Daisy's fine

Just a quick note here....youngest son is waiting to get online.  Daisy's surgery went fine and she's home again, doped up and dozing.  Will write more later, but thanks SO much for the prayers and your concern.  That means everything!

::now I'm back::

Daisy's still asleep in the chair, waking up for a couple of minutes and dropping her little head again.  The kids are all in the living room, and the least one is sitting next to her.

We were shocked to see the stones the vet removed from her bladder.  He showed us a small dish with lots and lots of them, some as large as the end of an adult thumb.  Most were smaller---sort of like the size of an English pea, but still.  Awful to think of her walking around with those in her belly.  From what I read, it'll take awhile before her bladder behaves itself (she's incontinent and we're keeping a towel changed under her, but that seems par for the course) and she's not gotten up to walk yet, though she's sitting up from time to time. No hurries.  I'm giving her water from an eye dropper, and she's willing.  Will try to give her a bit of chicken later on.  Her diet will have to change big time in order to prevent this from happening again.  Thankfully pugs aren't predisposed to have them, but it is odd with Violet having the very same food (they're litter mates) and not ever having any trouble at all.  Glad of that, but it's so strange.

Anyway, hoping she'll be able to sleep tonight and that her medicine doesn't make her feel too weird.  I know the rest of us will rest well.

Monday night

In bed here with Daisy the pug.  She's all nestled against the side of the laptop, oblivious to the up-coming surgery tomorrow morning.  And our sweet kids are dealing with it in various ways.  See, we've never had a dog who's needed surgery like this before, only having spaying done, which seems different for some reason.  Not sure why.  I do remember, though, when the pugs were spayed that we were spastic that afternoon until we could pick them up.  Or maybe we just tend to be spastic in a general sense.  Yeah, that could be it.

A teeny part of me is already feeling a relief at having this nonsense over with soon.  She's toted this bean-bag-like bladder around for over a year, and diet hasn't helped.  This will solve it and that's a blessing.

In other news, sweet Indian boyfriend's mom and sister are flying en route to India for a family wedding.  They'll be there 2 weeks, and are very excited. They've not been back in 16 years, I think.  Both children were raised over there and sweet Indian boyfriend was 8 when they moved here permanently. Oh, one neat thing...the women in the family are going to get henna tattoos, including boyfriend's mom and sister.  Can't wait hear about that, because oldest daughter and I have for YEARS talked about wanting to do that.  A whole world has opened up for us with this new relationship.  I keep giving our daughter 'the look' saying----'an Indian, seriously???'  And we couldn't be happier.

Grumbling

...Daisy the pug is scheduled for her bladderstone-ectomy on Tuesday.  We leave her there in the a.m. and can pick her up late afternoon, I think.  They don't keep animals overnight at our vet for this surgery.  Thankful for that. Making me c-r-a-z-y to think about, nonetheless.  Taking the kids to the library that day so as to keep our minds occupied.  Plus will think of a simple dinner that night so as to free up our minds to hold Daisy for extended stretches of time.

...now three of our appliances are limping along.  Besides our washer timer being off and having to be hand-advanced, which I've already mentioned along with our dryer latch being busted and not stopping the drum when it's on and you open it, the oven went nutty on Friday night and the oven door won't close all the way.  And that happened after dinner, as oldest daughter and sweet Indian boyfriend were on their way home, with the plans of baking brownies when they got here---really loved the idea of sweet Indian boyfriend seeing how disabled our kitchen had become, all the while trying to make a good impression.  Sheesh.  Anyway, as I speak, we have a ladderback chair pushed up against it, and the puppy's big bag of dog food is in the chair.  Tacky is the word that comes to mind, but as my Mom always says----"things seem to come in three's"---so I'll drink to that.  Or maybe I should just drink.  Anyway, glad I've found a goodly priced site online to order the parts from, and at least they all broke at the same time and I can order all at once. Or perhaps that's a twisted way of trying to look on the bright side!??!

...but can someone please stop this ferris wheel I seem to be stuck on?  A break.  Just need a tiny little break.  But wait.  Can't be a ferris wheel because they're supposed to be FUN, and this ain't fun anymore.  Just ain't no fun.

...that is all.  I'm cranky about all of it and offer no apologies.  PU.  If I had my druthers, I'd have a personality that's non-melancholy.  But as it is...those aren't the cards I was dealt.  But still.  A tiny, and I mean tiny glimmer of humor shows its face from time-to-time.  Not sure if it's glimmered today yet, but am hopeful.  And hope is a good thing, right?

Called the vet today to schedule Daisy's bladder stone surgery and she goes in this-coming Tuesday morning.  The assistant who took my call said they could take her tomorrow, but that didn't seem enough time for me/us to process the information (heavy on the me, and not so much on the us).  Besides, I never make decisions quickly, and that would've put me in a tail-spin.  It did anyway.  But as Gary says---she'll be just fine and it'll be over in no time and thankfully, she doesn't have to stay overnight.  All good things.  But as the sweet assistant said---she's my baby (so it's worrisome).  Truer words were never spoken.

Trying to psyche myself tonight into a sleep-mode that's more sensible.  Got my new book in the mail---Lost in Wonder by Esther De Waal, and looking forward to reading it a bit.  Must rest better so I can deal with the days in a more rational manner.  Haven't had good coping skills lately.  Must acquire some.

Glad tomorrow's Friday.  It's time for the weekend, since this week has seemed to go on and on.

 

My husband closed his Facebook and Twitter accounts today, saying he's tired of being 'out there' so to speak.  I get it.  With a new year and all of its freshness, it's appealing to de-clutter and tidy up a bit.  I've paired my FB account down so that it's basically just family, or what I call my family.  Seems a bit heartless to take people off of a so-called friends' list, but when there's no communication that's ever reciprocated then it seems pointless to pretend a chumminess that's really not there.  Just because I went to the same church or high school with someone (way back when) doesn't make us pals.  I mean, really.  I wasn't keen on high school anyhow.  Shyness does that.

I think I enjoy having a tight circle around me.  A few friends, yes, but a crowd surrounding me, definitely no.

And really it feels good to have less to think about.  Fewer things to be responsible for.

Plans for a restful evening

Making an Indian stew for dinner----the perks of oldest daughter dating sweet Indian boyfriend.  This recipe isn't from his family, but it's the sort of thing they have on a regular basis, and honestly, I'd likely not attempt it otherwise.  Sort of excited about it.  Our daughter says that to look into his parents' pantry is to see foods she doesn't find in our cupboards.  We tend toward the Tex-Mex and plain old American fare, but we're happy to be adventurous from time to time.

In a better mood than yesterday.  I'd run out of one of my natural supplements, and when I'm off of it, the headaches tend to return.  Much better now, or at least, will be better before day's end.

Got my errands run earlier and now can stay in tomorrow.  I love it so when I don't have to get out for anything, and am aware that the next day will be a stay-at-home one.  That settles my spirits, pretty much, more than anything.

*UPDATE on the dinner...the Indian stew was so good.  We served it with the Basmati rice in the bottom of a bowl, the chickpea mixture on top of that, and a good spoonful of sour cream on top, with tortillas to shove the yumminess onto our spoons.  I'd definitely make this again, and chicken would be great in it as well.

At day's end

Feeling a bit wasted, and resting here in bed with Daisy the pug snuggled next to me.  She likes to feel the heat off of the fan from my laptop and gets as close to it as possible. Sorta cute.

And for now the kids are all settled (oldest ones watching a movie and the younger ones are in bed--very oldest son just left for work at 11:15pm) and Gary's at FedEx.  I'm really going to focus (more) on praying for a change in Gary's work situation.  While we appreciate the money from the FE job, it really only keeps us in groceries and doesn't even begin to touch the other bills.  And the physical toll on him is very, very difficult.  It's a young man's job, not one who's in his mid-fifties.  I can't fault him for laziness, though.  My husband is doing whatever's necessary to make ends meet now and it's just plain hard.  And think on this....he leaves for FE at 10pm and gets home at around 3am.  Then he chills and eats (since he's ravenous by then) and at around 5am he tries to get to bed.  If he can get to sleep, he wakes back up at around 11am and goes to his workshop.  He'll get back home at dinner-time, eat with us and take a nap until around 8:30pm or so. If he doesn't get to sleep at 5am, the whole routine is messed up.  See what I mean?  It stinks, and is way more information than you wanted to read, I realize.

Keeping having these flashes in front of me of some joy that seems to be elusive.  At the risk of sounding plain nuts (and realizing that I'm repeating myself), I've gotten so off track with doing things for the pure enjoyment of them that when something joyful passes before me, I tend to stumble a bit and have to focus.  In the Anne Lamott book I'm reading, there's a quote that's pretty valid in my life, though I wish it wasn't.

It was always day-to-day, hand-to-mouth back then, and it was erosive to my parents to go year after year without the big special things.

Bingo!  Though I wish it wasn't a bingo sort of moment.  I so relate to that quote.  Lamott talks about her mom making ends meet with her dad's salary as a teacher and writer.  How they made it just barely with his income, if nothing out of the ordinary cropped up.  Those surprises were what wore her folks down.  Even now we have a washer with a faulty timer and I have to stop and start it as it cycles (which is working, thankfully) but it overheats if we forget. So, we don't forget.  Not to fret, though.  The part isn't pricey and we'll be able to get it soon.  But it's one of those things.  Too many of those things can be so wearing as to be overemphasized because of the general fatigue.

But I got a new teacup today.  Very dishy.  The five-dollar bill that was burning a hole in my pocket was well-spent, to be sure.  It pays to treat yourself (or if I was classy, I'd say 'oneself'....ha!) to something that brings a smile in tight times, and more folks than ever are feeling the pinch.  I just don't ever want to be so proud as to not admit it.

Take care, sweet ones.

Little routines

It's 2am on Tuesday morning and I'm still up.   Swore to myself that I'd not do this again.  I do enjoy time alone, though, and unless I get up really early, it is my time.  This morning I did relish the bit of quiet I had before the sick/recovering kids showed their faces.  The dogs behaved and the house was silent.  I had my tea and yogurt and could think my thoughts without any help. And those little girls give LOTS of help.

I have this tea ritual at the beginning of the day with my tetsubin (cast iron Japanese teapot like the photo, but mine is deep purple) and a favorite tea cup.  That's why I made a bit of a fuss about the new Indian tea I got the other day.  I buy it loose and have a tray and a little zebra wood spoon Gary made me, along with a little dish I use to put the little wire basket in that steeps the tea.  It's a routine that makes mornings sort of sweet.  And I do this every day, with very little variation.  I seem to need grounding early on each morning.

But must go now.  There's a shower or bath to attend to and some reading to enjoy.  Am reading an Anne Lamott who I'm a bit sideways about, but this book has some high points.  I read her books with one eye closed, not quite convinced of her talent, but sometimes surprised at her clarity.  Not keen on her oftentimes ill-placed swearing, but trying to get past those points.  Even Kathleen Norris, one of my favorites slips in the profanity from time-to-time, which I think is unnecessary.  Don't want to sound too puffed up, but I think a person can make their point without the shock value of certain words.

But whatever.  Not an issue at this early morning hour.  Must go to bed.

Monday morning

Seems I never get to sit here at the laptop in the mornings anymore, but today seems to be an exception.  Here it is, 10:30-ish and the house sleeps.  Well, most of it.  Oldest son just got in from his overnight stint at work (which continues over the next few days), and with the 2 other boys who work at the restaurant getting home late most nights, one of them is still in bed as well. The other one has already escaped to the outside world on his long-board. Since the rest of the kids (excepting oldest daughter who has the day off today) have been sick with a sore throat/sniffly nose over the weekend, I've left them alone to sleep it off.

Illness is a pain, but often a mother's only time off.  Their illness, I mean!

Opal the shepherd is asleep in the kitchen, after having a grumpy fit at the puppy.  Daisy the pug is still coughing a bit and I can't schedule her surgery until she's well, so she's hacking a bit at my feet.  Violet the pug is in my lap, chewing the edges of my robe, hoping I'll take the hint and scratch her backside.  Not working, so far.   And Romeo the puppy is out back playing with Imaginary Dog, having a big time finding odd things in the yard to tear up. See? Everyone's content.

And I'm washing bedsheets (we only have one set for our bed) quickly since our bedroom has a revolving door quality now with Gary's sleep pattern being all wonky.  Don't ever know when he'll appear and have to sack out.  He left for the shop this morning at around 5am after not being able to sleep like a regular person.  I'd call myself a regular person, but that'd appear like I'm bragging. My, my.  Life in our house is a bit strange just now.  Thankfully my time at church on Sundays settles me just enough to put a calm on all of it. Hope it lasts.  But I'm just doing today, so I think we're good.

Rattling on about stuff

Got out with oldest daughter today to run errands.  We grabbed some tacos for lunch and then stopped at the drugstore, then went to the Mediterranean market near our home for tea.  I've gotten their Darjeeling twice now, but got Kalami Assam today.  Don't I sound smart?!!  Already drank a cup, steeping it a much shorter time than the 8 minutes they recommend, and it was wonderful. I tend to like my tea pretty mild anyway, so 2-3 minutes is tops for my likes.

And Daisy the pug who has to have bladder stone surgery soon (will call vet next week ::shiver::) had a cough again this morning, but it's passed.  Her throat sort of seizes up when it's cold (which it is now after being in the 60s yesterday), and she hacks and hacks.  Right now she's in my lap, all good and cozy and is much better.  Tiring to have to be so careful with her, but until her surgery, her immune system is, pretty much, toast.

And thankful to have Gary home for the weekend.  We cherish weekends much, much more with him being at FedEx overnight during the week.  He's at his shop now, finishing up a couple of repair jobs----so thankful for the phone ringing for that work.  He is, after all, a woodworker and not a package handler in real life.  FedEx is just a stopping off point until our ship comes in again. Taking awhile, isn't it?

Well, not much else going on.  
Three
 four kids have funny throats and sniffly noses, so stayed in from church tonight.  Will plan on being Anglican tomorrow. Not sure if I'll be alone or not, but Gary's made noises about going with me some time.  He was raised Baptist/Reformed Presbyterian (oddly so different from one another in my mind), so is a bit cautious.  That's okay.  We all get churched in one way or another.

Take care, sweets.

This and that

First things first-----my mother-in-law's breast cancer surgery went well today, and she's back home.  Odd what's considered out-patient surgery, but as Gary says---you're better off at home and not in the hospital and all of its infections. True words, but it still seems a bit rash to me to be sent home after a surgery with such a monumental impact on you in so many ways.  But, yeah, I'd rather be at home as well.

She goes back next Thursday to hear the results of the test for the lymph node they took.  They need to test it to see if the cancer spread anywhere. That'll determine if she has radiation AND chemo.  They'd initially said that she'd only have radiation, and not sure if they're back-pedaling, or have new information.  We'll wait and see on that.

AND, oldest daughter and third son went to a Swing Dance Class last night (like this, but on a much smaller scale), and told me (yes, told me) I needed to go to it next week.  This son is to be part of a wedding party in April and the engaged couple are learning to dance so that they can dance at their reception.  I've heard of doing the waltz at a wedding, but the swing?  That ought to be interesting!!

Oldest daughter and I do miss the dance classes we took back in the summer of 2010.  Seems so long ago, but sure was fun.  Still funny to think of me, the epitome of an introvert, being comfortable on a dance floor.  You just never know folks (even yourself), do you?

Travelling through Egypt

"Well, I do think someone might have arranged about our meals," said Digory.

"I'm sure Aslan would have, if you'd asked him," said Fledge.

"Wouldn't he know without being asked?" said Polly.

"I've no doubt he would," said the Horse (still with his mouth full). "But I've a sort of idea he likes to be asked."~from The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis

Have said it before and will say it again, "I can be such an Israelite."

Was getting all twitchy in my britches last night anticipating bills due, only minor work in Gary's shop and just feeling like God had other things on His mind but me.  Spilled my guts to Him last night, and woke up ready to pick up my frustration once again.  And it hasn't helped with day-time sleepers keeping me all nervy because we can't make noise like we need/want to.  And we're going into day two of that adventure.  Two are asleep as I type here at a quarter to five (almost dinner-time).

Planned on getting my mom's groceries this afternoon (which she pays for when we drop them off), and something for dinner for us as well.  Knew what I had in the bank, and was going to have to go over a tiny bit for what we'll deposit tomorrow.  (Remember, I am an Israelite.)  Anyway, got Mom's stuff and when we were unloading her things, she handed me an envelope, plus gave me a check for what we got.  She always makes the check out for a bit more----and get this----with the $20 in the envelope and her 'tip money' as we call it, everything I got was covered and I ended up with one dollar left over.

When will I ever learn?  I do believe that God does indeed hear my poor faithless prayers and just wants me to chill a bit.  He's got it covered.  I do not.

Here's to a dinner of burgers (which fourth son is going to grill) and fries.  And an evening of looking at a huge pile of old Valentine's magazines.  Must take deep breaths.

Oh, and about Gary's shop.  He got calls today and there's work to do.  I think it's called 'Grace' in case I need to remember this again.  Oh my.

I think I've lost a day...

Even though I used Wordpress on my other blog, I still feel like I'm in a strange neighborhood with this new site, and I guess I am.  Funny how a new blog address will do that. Like wearing new clothes and having to readjust my waistband in order to feel comfortable.

On to other things....in our world, 3 of the men-folk spent the day in bed, not sick, but dog tired.  Gary wasn't able to sleep Sunday night, so went to his shop yesterday without sleep.  It finally caught up with him today and when he got home from FE at 3am this morning, he stayed in bed until 5pm today. Oldest son has worked overnights at work...midnight to 9am and third son was just tired and slept all day on his day off.  Yes, they looked very refreshed when they came up for air.  ::jealous::

But hard to tippy-toe through the day in this small house, let me tell you! Thankfully the dogs were good, though, and kept their barking to a minimum. The little girls weren't quite so generous.  They can be LOUD.

Now at this very minute (at 10:30pm), older boys are playing with the X-Box (one son bought for their dad for Christmas), middle daughter is baking peanut butter cookies, dogs sleeping in various locations, and nobody who runs around on two legs seems interested in sleep.  Proof that I can be one lousy parent.

Oh, and with input from a couple of dog people neighbors and reading of our own, we think our new puppy, Romeo, is possibly a Catahoula Leopard Dog...if you look them up---his oddly mottled coat, and his webbed feet with the webbing extending nearly to the end of his toes are clues.  And his temperament, which is wonderful is a trait as well.  Never heard of that breed? Me neither. They're historically used to track down wild boar in the South. Could turn out useful, yes?!??!

And so it goes. :)

Beginnings

New place to write.  Hopefully no hacking.  Fresh starts, which is what a new year is all about anyway, right?

I got to thinking about this blog hacking situation and my first impression was to be shocked, then to sigh and say 'oh well' to myself.  See, I've gotten into the habit of playing down certain things, especially if they happen ONLY to me and affect MOSTLY me.  It's sort of like I won't give myself the consideration I sometimes need and possibly deserve.  I set my own needs and feelings on the burner way back at the back of the stove.   And you know...that's not a healthy attitude to take.

Then I thought about it some more and was royally hacked (same word, much better meaning) that some anonymous person/spammer/spider had the ability to take away from me something that was important.  And while it was likely just meant in a mildly malicious way, the end result is still maddening.  That folks are amused by destroying things that don't belong to them.  Frustrating. Sort of like online graffiti, but this time they wrote on my wall...even if only in a figurative way.

There.  Got the angst out of the way and can get on to the writing part. Fresh start.  New blogging home.  No worries.  Thanks for coming.