Monday morning

Feeling better this morning, as is my main squeeze, so that's a blessing.  Nearly a week of this has been enough.  Time to get back in the swing of things, I reckon.  But slowly.

Will take the kids to the library today, as early as possible.  City school kids are out this week for Fall Break, so we'll plan our outings accordingly.  Since we try as much as we can to emulate their outward routine, flying under the radar as much as possible, there's less concern in being out there.

And trying to figure out what to have for dinner with my two chickens coming back from Texas today. Whenever I've traveled, I always yearn for a home-cooked meal as soon as possible.  Hot food, things you're used to, and a familiar bed---all relished when you return.

Now time for tea.

Sunday afternoon

Having the urge to simplify a bit (note blog is a little less noisy-looking).  With still feeling under-the-weather with this stomach thing, I've had plenty of time to just think on stuff.  Watch the dust form on the furniture. See the ever-growing trail of glitter run from the girls' rooms to the rest of the house.  Stand amazed at the pile of unfolded laundry.  Roll my eyes at the collection of books I own that just grows as fast as the clutter builds.

What I really need is one good energetic day when I feel up to doing a mass clean-out.

Not happening any time soon, I don't think.

But an odd thing.  I talked to our second son late this afternoon.  He and oldest daughter have been out-of-town, with him being at a mission's conference and her enjoying a nearby mall and plenty of quiet time. Good for both of them.  Well anyway, after he and I finished our conversation, I hung up and cried.  Not sure what that was all about, but maybe partly relief that their trip is drawing to a close and they'll be coming home tomorrow.  Or maybe I'm just weary of being sick.

For whatever reason, for me at least, being ill tends to give me a different viewpoint on life.  A lighter touch, maybe.  Perhaps an ability to not (at least this week) look at my worries so directly in the face.

It'll be a slow week, but I trust one that is a refreshment for me as well.

'God in My Everything' by Ken Shigematsu

Because of my love for everything related to contemplative prayer, and Benedictine-related topics, I was drawn to the title of Ken Shigematsu's book God in My Everything:  How an Ancient Rhythm Helps Busy People Enjoy God.  I tripped up, however, when I realized how truly busy a person's life would be after implementing his ideas.  It sort of exhausted me.

While I agree with his emphasis on balancing work with family life, I tend to get tired of folks needing to be told how to act, when it should be clear.  He tells of a situation when he had a six week old infant son at home.  He was committed to a Christian event which would place him out of town for a few days.  And yes, he could have cancelled.  In that time, he was hoping his son would've learned to sleep during the night.  Of course, if that had been the case, his guilt at leaving would've been appeased, and he'd have been justified in keeping up his out-of-town schedule. As it happens, his son was a poor sleeper and his wife exhausted when he returned.  A conversation with his wife afterward spelled out how difficult this was for her, and the author changed how he managed travelling, postponing doing that for a year.

Why is it so hard for folks to be tuned into what the right behavior is in a given situation?   Why do they always have to be taught what should be clear?

I appreciate Mr. Shigematsu's goal in the book.  He shared how following the Rule of Benedict in the present-day can help a Christian achieve a sense of balance.  Care has to be taken, however, that the focus on following what's meant to be a godly goal isn't ultimately a god in itself.  Patting ourselves on the back for ticking off the boxes of our plan isn't the way to go.  When I've prayed a certain part of the day, talked with my kids, exercised, shared Christ with my neighbor, paid attention to my husband/wife, run a marathon, donated at the food bank, and asked forgiveness on a daily basis, I'm still a sinner plain and simple.

The premise of the book is a good one.  But rather than feeling refreshed and challenged at the end of it, I felt defeated.  Small bites.  Always a good idea.

(i received this book free to review from thomas nelson/booksneeze)

End of the week

Stomach virus.  Going from task to task, in a chair to chair fashion.  As soon as I think I can do something, I take a deep sigh and just park it.  Thankfully no throwing up with this thing, for which I'm very grateful---not to sound too informative, though.  Have lost 3 pounds, all good.  I remember years ago, our oldest daughter having a horrid case of the flu and losing 17 pounds.  Never gained it back.  

I feel a bit addled.  I think my brain is affected.  I keep thinking of things, only to forget what I had on my mind just seconds later. Gary's sick too, but is suffering slightly differently.  Like the movie 'Napoleon', he's just saying, "I don't feeeeeeell good."  Can't quite put a finger on it, but just feeling lowly.

Got my copy of The Way of a Pilgrim today, and will enjoy reading it later on, during nap-time.  It covers The Jesus Prayer (the mercy prayer) and the review book I'm into talks about a prayer method (for lack of another term) of St. Ignatius of Loyola called Examen, which I'd never heard of.  All of these sorts of things interest and fascinate me.

I'm used to, from my years of an evangelical, of extemporaeous prayer, and that's fine, but the richness of the prayers of the old church traditions have fed something in me that I didn't realize needed feeding.  There's something beautiful of the Anglican history that rings true to me.  And I find that odd, since that's not the way I was brought up, but relate to like you'd think it was something in my history.  Well, I guess it is if you want to travel to England to my ancestors hundreds of years ago, who followed that faith.  

Must go now.  Time to chill.  I have no energy.

A picture is worth a thousand words...

~nora wanting to go on the road

~madelyn and daisy (l to r)

~front porch

Mid-week

Too many irons in the fire.

Yesterday after I blogged here, I had to take fourth son to the dental school downtown to have a crown seated. No problem there, and out earlier than usual.  We planned to stop at the main branch of the library on the way home. Pulled in, found a parking place, and as I was turning into it, we heard a loud BOOM sound twice.  First thought was that I'd run over something that had blown both of her (borrowing oldest daughter's pick-up) right-side tires.  Couldn't find a problem, so while second son was standing outside the truck, I tried to back up.  BOOM again.  Something came loose and fell off, a suspension sort of thing.  Tire began to list inward (not as much as in photo---that happened when the tow truck guy had to pull it backward) and several things fell off---little bits.

Long story short.  Called Gary, called daughter, they came, called mechanic who ordered a tow truck.  Got it hauled in.  Daughter got the repair list, and it's bearable.  All's well that ends well.

I was exhausted when we got home.  Too much stress.  My insides felt every bit of that BOOM, instantly worrying about what the heck had happened, and powerless to do anything.  Feeling there's a spiritual metaphor tucked into that experience.

Got home, and a review book had arrived in the mail.  Always a treat, especially when they get here before I anticipate.  A small reward for a very busy day.

And tomorrow oldest daughter and second son drive out of state to a missions type conference (he's interested, she's just going along for the ride).  I'm not fretting, but it's one more thing to keep in mind.

Odd, but I don't always know something bothers me until I have physical issues related to worry.  My hands break out, my head will hurt, my stomach will do flip flops.  All boxes checked the past day or so.  Guess I'm a bit wound up, eh?

Anyway.  Got to keep my focus.  The Lord has it all under control.  I just have to do what I do in my own little world. :)

Tuesday morning

madelyn and me

I really do enjoy these chickens. When I'm able to beat the kids in getting up, mainly the least one, I enjoy sitting out back and just watching them.  They're so restful.....well, until Anastasia or Piglet get rowdy. Sometimes when I stay in bed a few more minutes, after Gary's left to take fourth son to work, I get interrupted by the bok-bok-buh-CAH noise, that signals either that someone has laid an egg and they're proclaiming it to the world, or more likely, both nesting boxes are booked up and one of our Black Stars is antsy to lay. Anastasia and Piglet are famous for being very, very noisy.

Never a dull day 'round these parts.

When this happens, I grab my shoes real quick, go outside and just pick up the screamer.  Then we sit for a minute, me talking all baby-talk and whoever's in my lap will cock her head (while I keep my head back a bit to avoid her pecking at my necklace) and give me the eye. Yesterday I was holding Anastasia and Nora jumped up on my lap.  Sort of a blissful moment as long as it lasts.  Chickens are busy creatures, so the moment is usually brief.

Years ago I read Josephine Moffet Benton's book called The Pace of a Hen. Very glad to have my own copy. I really liked the book (about women at home) but look at it a tad differently now.  Wonder if Mrs. Benton kept chickens.  She talks about a woman's pace being slow and round-about because of so many tasks needing to be accomplished in a given day, leaving little room for advancement. A sometimes frustrating situation.  Now in my brief experience of chicken-keeping, they're not lazy AT ALL.  They move constantly, pecking the ground for almost the entirety of a sunny day.  They do rest, but only briefly.  They enjoy a sunbath during the afternoon, but are so high-strung that rest doesn't usually come until they roost at night in their coop.  I'd compare them more to honeybees or ants, than anything slow and plodding.

Just my thoughts.

{and have lost egg count---mostly four/day and that's just dandy!}