"It's the mundane moments that keep us sane."
I've been thinking, and might be onto something here. Seems my life has been separated into decades with a particular mindset attached to each period.
The twenties were full of anticipation and excitement with college and then meeting/marrying my husband, plus I had a couple of babies way back then. The thirties were busy with more babies. Then the forties came and while our last child was born when I was 43, I found myself scratching my head, wondering what had happened. Life had flown by and I was finally able to process the journey....not that it was easy. And even though my thirties were the busiest in a physical sense....nursing little ones and all, my forties have been the hardest decade to make sense of. Maybe because I knew what I was about when I had babies and was constantly attending to them. I reached my early forties and I think part of me identified so easily with tiny ones that dealing with myself apart from that was a struggle. Now I'm 51 and am beginning to throw off my ingrained attempts at pleasing everyone around me, and find that life isn't so mind-boggling. Maybe it's a tiny bit smoother. Not that I have anything figured out, but I'm not over thinking what I do, or the motives behind it. Maybe now I'm finally learning to live.
Is that possible?
And I'm weeding things out of my life that have bogged me down. Have become more attuned to loving myself and am treating the days with more tenderness. Seems with having my oldest friend dying back in December (which was way too overwhelming) I'm cherishing my days more. Not being so flip about how I spend them, realizing that things can change in a heartbeat.
Today life is good. Just today. And I can deal with that.
(quote from soverypretty at tumblr)
