Daughter's having boyfriend woes. She got in town from her trip (which she and third son left on Friday morning) on Monday afternoon. Tired Monday night so no company, but she and SIB were going to go out to dinner last night (Tuesday). Thunderstorms abounded and she made a comment on a text that he might not want to drive over here. He took the bait and went to his uncle's house with his family instead. He was fine with that. He didn't push the point. Stopped responding with texts, and as a result, she got VERY mad. And hurt. And just sayin'....texts are a stinky way to communicate. Fine with updates, but with real information, pretty lousy. My opinion.
The thing is, though, she made it too easy for him. I tend to do that sometimes as well. In order to make the other person happy, or to make life simpler for them, I'll say what I don't necessarily mean, but what gets the other person off the hook. Not always wise. Maybe rarely the thing to do, or maybe should be only considered on a first-come/first-serve basis. Dunno.
Anyway, maybe even more so, I tend to want my husband to slay the dragon. To go out of his way to be there for me. To be my knight. When I told him about SIB not coming over, he said that if I'd been out of town (in dating times), he'd have been there on our doorstep waiting for me when I got home. And he would've. He's not bragging, but he was actually like that. He still sorta is.
Our daughter's been set an example by Gary of what a husband can be in terms of emotional support. He's always put me first, and most recently has defended me to my mom. Makes me feel deeply loved, let me tell you.
SIB is just that...sweet Indian boyfriend and we all love him, but he sometimes just doesn't get it. Gary says, and this is true, that we can't fault him for that, but it seems that our daughter craves someone to slay her dragons. To go out of his way to be there for her, both physically and emotionally. The thing is, they've invested about 18 months in this relationship. Makes it all the more difficult when it smarts.
And I think this generation is hit with a temptation my generation didn't have to deal with. Portable technology gives folks the excuse to not engage. That convenient iPad or iPhone (Apple seems to be the worst culprit) puts folks into a one-dimensional world and sets a huge wedge between two people who might be trying to have a conversation. In daughter's case, seems many times lately, only one person is wanting to chat. Uh-oh. Relationships have to be nurtured all the time, married or not. You've got to stay on your guard and never assume too much contentment on the other person's part. Take care of them. And men, slay those dragons.
