Errands. Went to see my mom, took her the cherry pie for her main squeeze (don't say it), and we talked for about an hour and a half. Good to visit, but frustrating, since she really doesn't understand how limited she is and will be when she gets home. I say wheelchair---she counters with cane. And on and on we go. She's visualizing an independence that just won't happen. And we've tried to talk to her about re-arranging a couple of the rooms, so she won't have to navigate the one step down into her den. We talked about moving all of her den stuff into her living room---re-routing the cable t.v., etc., but she doesn't want that. She says she wants things the way they used to be, to be the person she was several months ago. Well, she's already not that person either physically or mentally. Parts of her brain are just missing. She's almost in temperament like a small child who wants their way. She's good-natured, but will stick out her bottom lip when she doesn't like what you say. And oddly enough (in a funny way) she does it a couple of times each time I visit. Like a kid being stubborn. Very strange.
I don't mean to sound horsey talking about her. I try to be encouraging, but realistic at the same time. I'm game for her to gain as much independence as possible, but we all draw the line at her driving. She's really looking forward to that (which does no harm to long for it), but that'll never happen. And while I appreciate her optimism, I acknowledge that her physical achievements so far are likely as good as it'll get.
Anyway, good visit nonetheless. Her room-mate was off having physical therapy, so it was nice to talk without being overheard, not that we say anything that's top secret.
Moving on.
Saw a man in fatigues at the grocery store afterward and told him I especially liked seeing a man in uniform now since our son joined the Guard. He was the nicest thing. He's in the Air National Guard and asked where Joseph was having Basic, and was full of information for me. Said he loved it, had been in 21 years and just went on and on. Then I thanked him for his sacrifice and what he was doing. Know what he did? He said, "No, thank you for not standing in your son's way. For allowing him to join." My, my. That just floored me.
Anyway, very full up after talking to him. That was a blessing I was unprepared for. I'm a military mom. And I don't know what to do with that realization.
