Thinking about stuff

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.~Proverbs 22:6

Had a bit of a parental brainstorm last night.  At least I'm going to call it that.  Gary and I were talking about the kids, how we've raised them, the mistakes we've made, the successes....you get where I'm going.  As we talked and shared, something hit me and I'm not sure why this hasn't happened before.  Most likely the opportunity hasn't arisen in the past.  I realized that while we've done our best, and not-so our best in raising these kids, the end result is up to them.  I've got to stop thinking I can control where they go after we release them to the world.

And let me tell you, as I let that sink in, a peace came over me that was such a relief.  I can't say as that peace of mind has lingered solidly through today, but I can grasp it to myself from time to time.  It's coming clearer to me.

While I'd love to say that they all want to follow the Lord as clearly as some of them do, I can't.  There is rebellion.  One is reluctant to go to church anymore, and has allowed work to interfere with that schedule.  He's been given the ultimatum of  'if you live here, you go to church.'  New rule with this latest fiasco from his brother.  It's easy to be sloppy about church attendance sometimes.  And with one son fancying rebellion,  it's funny but that son seems to enjoy church, yet isn't consistent with it.  That's probably been part of his downfall into waywardness.  The rest will gladly attend, though with varying amounts of enthusiasm.

Must remember to live my own life, guard theirs when I can with prayer and availability to listen, but have to keep hands off more.  The youngest still get managed, but as they grow away from me, I've got to learn to let go.  Not easy, but necessary.

Guess parenting is about the mother and father growing as well.  Growing pains aren't called 'pains' for nothing.

A joyous Easter

Easter Eve

All the kids are home just now, and it's nice (yet very distracting) to have them milling about.  Am waiting for the dust to settle so I can tidy up in the living room.  Way too many tall boys walking to and fro (yet I'm not complaining). Two of the boys have to work later on at the restaurant, but thankfully (and joyfully) everyone's off from work tomorrow.  We'll have sweet Indian boyfriend over tomorrow night as well.  Easy company.

As you can see, the little girls have been up to egg decorating.  Middle daughter was trying to be careful not get too much dye on her fingers since she's serving as an acolyte tomorrow.  Might be amusing, though, to see her carrying a torch with colorful hands.  Would match the hot pink on the tips of her hair.  She's so silly.

Now as of this very minute, a carrot cake is baking for youngest son's birthday dinner, and the dryer and washer are going to town.  Just plain living.  No drama, and that's perfect.

Wishing you a quiet day.  Enjoy your families.

Spring Break {day five}

Kids went to my mom's house for lunch for the first time since before Christmas.  A bit strange, that.  I think it was good for my mom, but really, she's aged so much in that brief time. I've seen her a couple of times in the meantime, but it's hard to see her look so much more frail.  Wish she was a bit more open to visits, but as they say, 'it is what it is.'  Personally I think the kids are good for her.  She doesn't have to work so hard in her house with them helping, and their zest for life is contagious.

And birthday shopped for youngest son, who's extremely easy to please. It'll be a nice, low-key birthday tomorrow.  He deserves attention since we've been so wrapped up in one of his brother's lives.  Hard to distribute care and affection to so many, but it must be done.  Juggling.  It's all juggling.

And then there's Easter, which should be a fine day.  Second son (the one who's partially moved out) wants to grill for us.  We'll see how that plays out.  As to the partially moved out comment...he bought himself a new bed for his apartment, but his bed here still lives. He spends the occasional night here, and fourth son wants third son to move out of their bedroom (also shared with fifth son...are you lost yet?) and in with first-born son so that they can all spread out.  Part-time apartment dweller son #2 is ignoring him.  Works for me. I enjoy the odd night when all my chickens are home.  Is happening less often, but I still like it.

If that last paragraph messed you up, I find it works better if you make little stick figures and place them in small, crowded bedrooms.

Must go now.  Tuckered.  And didn't do anything incredibly fun.  Well, maybe I can count some crafting supplies I got at Michael's today to make something for the kids with some teensy little pink chicks.  This post just serves as information to those who love me. Doesn't have to be exciting for those who care.

Spring Break {day four}

I feel in a zone of some sort.  Took the girls to Maundy Thursday services at church and while awesome isn't a word that's in my everyday-ordinary vocabulary, it certainly fits what happened tonight.  We went into a service that was a bit low key as expected being Maundy Thursday, but by the end, we were plain cold sober. The altar was stripped and in front of it was moved a plain wooden cross that our priest then draped with a black cloth.

Startling to see the altar stripped piece by piece.  The altar cloths, candles, decorative pieces, prayer books, and when the Bible went, I could feel tears in my eyes.  It all represented Christ's crucifixion and with Him gone (and all the pieces on the altar removed), you could in a teeny tiny way imagine how it felt so many years ago.

Afterward, I stayed an hour for the prayer vigil, and was glad I signed up after dark, because the church is so beautiful in the evening.  For the next 20+ hours, someone will be in the church to pray until the service tomorrow night.  Again, it was awesome.  To be in the nave all alone with only dim lighting and delicately scented candles was an experience all its own.  So lovely.

Spring Break {day three}

~daisy understands

I remember a couple of times when I'd be in the thick of labor with one of our children and the thought would pass through my head---okay, never mind, I didn't want a baby anyhow.

That same thought has passed through my head as we're coping with our son's mis-steps of late, if you want to call it that.  Never mind, I didn't want the responsibility of being a parent anyhow.

But that'd be too easy.  Life sometimes stinks, and mine sure does, at least a tiny bit.  Or I can say our son's life stinks, but that'd be ugly, even though I sort of mean it. He's dealing with it and that's a plus, especially considering sometimes kids are so rebellious that facing up to indiscretions isn't always attended to.

That said, I spent the day a bit frazzled, cleaning and throwing away things that had sticky emotions attached to it.  You know how you hear that when items in your house make you uncomfortable, no matter what they are, need to be tossed or given away.  I think that's just plain good sense.  So I washed more curtains, the girls hung them out and I hung up some different ones to give a bit of pizazz to different spots.  I got rid of broken and torn things that'll never get repaired, and just junk that's been passed on to us.  Felt good. More tomorrow, I'm hoping.  Rain's coming on Friday, I heard, and will get more things hung out tomorrow.

Not the way I intended my Spring Break to flow.  I was going to be creative and silly. Unfortunately, I'm subdued and hurt.  Raising kids when they're small and under your roof 24 hours a day is a tough job, but when they begin to grow their wings and you can't watch them all the time, it's downright mind blowing.

Spring break {day two}

Had an excellent quiet time this morning.  Got up before the younger ones, and with the pugs in my lap had my pot of tea and a bit of the coffee cake one son bought me.  Read the morning Psalms and for about an hour, it was peaceful.  Gradually I got my head ready for the day and began a load of wash.  Tidied the kitchen, took down the curtains to wash, wiped out the oven and under the burners.  Wiped off the fronts of the cabinets with Mrs. Meyer's lavender spray (which is so delicious) and waited for everyone else to get up.

By then it was almost time for a nap.  After the drama here, seems I get tired quicker.  Rested with Daisy the pug in bed.

You might be saying---well, what was the jolly today?  Well, maybe it was the stillness this evening when I pulled out the embroidery that's been languishing on the side table for way too long---months for sure.  Grounding.  Normal and non-threatening.  I just want to feel safe.