I can be such an Israelite. The old-time sort, not present-day. God blesses, I gripe. I ask for dinner, a son or daughter provides. I complain about needing more toilet paper, and find the change to make it happen.
Whine, whine, whine.
This is the season to wait, yet again, for a client to pay up. She was supposed to be in the shop on Friday, even making the comment that it was payday. Did she show up? Silly me, to believe that she would. My husband called her on Saturday afternoon, asking her if she'd be in on *that* day. Oh my goodness, she says, my daughter needed me to be at her house. Says she'll be there on Monday (yesterday) or today.
My attitude stinks. About out of clothes soap, the kitchen cupboards are sadly bare, and as I said....I can be such an Israelite. I doubt God because people disappoint me. I get angry at this lady for making the light-hearted comment about Friday being her payday, wishing she'd understand that it's within her power to make it *our* payday as well.
Sometimes I can almost feel the Lord shaking His head at me, willing me to trust and it seems I'm having a hard time learning that lesson. Keeps repeating itself, you know?
What I need to remember is to trust God, and not put folks in the position to solve my problems. Yes, people need to follow through when they say they're going to do something, but I've learned when it concerns parting with their money, hesitation follows. But you know what *really* gets me? Is that I know in my heart that I'll be happy as a clam when this lady shows up and pays up. For her to have that hold on my emotions and the ability to control my mood drives me nuts.
Need to keep my focus not on the problem, but on God's face. Man, that seems to be a tough one for me. But I need to learn it.
