Thursday

Playing Chris Rice's song, 'My Prayer', repeatedly until Yahoo forces me out.  Such a good song.

Today is Mom's (what I call) Spa Day, with me helping her shower and then working with the least one to set her hair.  The kids will clean her house, change/wash her sheets, vacuum, and hopefully get some work done outside as well.  The sun is finally kinda-sorta shining, so a wonderful day to do those sorts of things.  Might rain later, though, so need to get a move on.

As a reward for being cute, I'll take the least one to McDonald's for lunch.  That's for her being cute, not me, in case you were confused. 

Must go now and wash more clothes so that the boys can hang them out.  There's always stuff to do, isn't there?

Small blessings

I've read Ann Voskamp's book, 'One Thousand Gifts' that Bonnie sent to me and found it difficult in that it seems that her level of misery/depression is par with mine.  Not to put too fine a point on it though...there are good days and bad ones. 

Am learning, though, that a sagging mood can be helped along a bit.  I've got to sort of move mental baggage out of the way and look past it.  Like how a person hunts for a loved one in a crowd, I've got to do the same with joy.  Search it out.

Today I'll take one boy to work and then stop off and pick up the DVD of 'Tangled' for youngest son's main birthday present for tomorrow.  And the girls and I are going to make a treat with the coconut that's begging to be used in the fridge.  Macaroons, maybe.

And I'll read more of a new library book, 'The Lake of Dreams', by Kim Edwards, the woman who also wrote 'The Memory Keeper's Daughter', which I read but can't remember much about.  I do know that I'm relishing this new one of hers.  She writes such beautiful sentences.  I'm not too far into it, though, but have high hopes that the wonderfulness will keep up.  It starts out in Japan, and ironically so with earthquakes being a topic of conversation.  A bit sad to think of that, but her writing really is so soothing in the beginning parts....very Zen, if you get my drift.

Today is good.  Just so you know that I'm not pulling my hair out.  I'm just doing today, not taking on any burdens that are set aside for tomorrow or what follows.  It's a quiet day weather-wise besides.  Rain is looming, but yesterday's clothes are in off the lines, and the washer chugs along with a load of towels.  Puttery chores are best when the mind is overtaxed, don't you think?

Getting my thoughts down

Plainly said, this just isn't a good time to be me.  There have been days in the past where I've woken up anticipating the day ahead.  Not so much anymore, and I don't know of any quick way to change that.  Like how folks joke with women after the baby's been born, telling them that it'll take awhile to lose the extra weight they put on during pregnancy---so it goes with depression and its bedfellows. 

And you know, most folks don't want to hear this.  They visit blogs to be uplifted and encouraged.  Not on my agenda now, I'm afraid.  And it's not that I'm feeling self-centered either.  It's more that I feel that I have no or little control over how my life is actually lived.  And while having eight children (all still living at home) is a stresser, though one I've grown very accustomed to and can deal with most times, the tipping point is having to look after my mom (though grateful she can still live alone). 

I'm hacked off at the circumstances and am angry with myself for what appears to be a selfish attitude on my part.  I'd like to say that I've risen above what's going on.  That I'm a big girl and can move mountains.  Huh.  Failing in a big way, I'm afraid.

And I'm asked, "Why is this so hard for you?"  And do you know, I can't tell you exactly why, and that's driving me nuts.  Partly because I can see no end in sight.  I feel trapped, and also taken advantage of.

So, if you're still with me, thanks for reading.  Not trying to sound dramatic, but I can name a few situations in my life that have been milestones in terms of their difficulty.  Right now ranks on up there.

Dinner

Realized just now that with my life being in a minor uproar (see previous post), I've turned to cooking as a soothing pastime.  After we got home from church, I cut up a sirloin tip roast, browned it and added some chopped onion, garlic and curry powder to it.  It's similar to what my MIL shared with us years ago---a Smith family recipe that everyone enjoys.  Had thought of making something unfamiliar and new for us to have for dinner, but this just sort of fell into place.  Made 2 coconut cream pies as well, which was a dessert my dad loved.  But have substituted the traditional meringue for plain old whipped cream.  The meat mixture simmers now, and the pies are cooling on the dining room table.  Only have to make the rice, and dinner's done.  I'll cook some white rice and mix it with some long grain/wild rice.  Usually we just have the white with the curry, but I was thinking the flavors might complement one another nicely.

Finished reading Molly Wizenberg's book, 'A Homemade Life', yesterday and really enjoyed it, especially her recipes.  Nice how she tells a personal tale and then sizes up the chapters with whatever dish she's chattering about.  Reading her recipes makes for creative cooking, that's for sure.  Too bad we're having navy bean soup for dinner tomorrow---not my wildest sort of meal, but will dress up the soup with some bacon and will make cornbread besides.  Guess this is my new hobby.  And really, making meals is harmless fun and everyone wins, right?

I'm ranting, if you're interested...

Almost done with the chores for the day which included taking boys to work (we were down one vehicle today), going to Target and the grocery store, and dropping some things off at one of those donation boxes.  Home never feels quite as good as when I've driven all over the place and have returned. And it's raining, so this bed feels especially cozy.

But getting a tad anxious about the upcoming week with my mom's away-from-home physical therapy beginning on Monday.  Her doctor has written a prescription for her to get therapy 3 days a week, and with me already doing her bathing/hair rolling one day, grocery shopping another day---well, I'm sure I don't have to spell out how twisted my head gets in trying to figure out the logistics of the week.  Thinking that yoga will be a real possibility for me in the near future.  Either that or a brain transplant.  I'm leaning more toward the latter choice. 

This nonsense is one reason I've not blogged much lately.  Did post on Thursday, but it looked so innocuous after I hit the 'publish post' button that I deleted it.  There's just so much jolly writing I can do in order to appear cheerful that's a plain cover-up.  Was feeling too honest that day and couldn't pretend otherwise. 

And even though my mom is, thankfully, much better with the splint off and the swelling in her arm and hand going down, I do sincerely wish that the doctor's office had pulled me aside and hinted at the mental challenges we'd face with her and this broken arm.  She's just different.  And her dependence on us and her lack of self-confidence in minor things is baffling.  Her routines have been battered so thoroughly, and she doesn't seem to know herself anymore.  And truth is, the more time that passes, the more difficult it is for her to branch out.  She's still not felt up to going back to church, and in the two months since she fell, has only left the house for her doctor's appointments.  That's enough to challenge the toughest patient.

Pardon me but I think my head's about to explode.  More later.

Free books to win!

From Tyndale:

In honor of Tyndale launching its new book club enewsletter they’re running a 30 day giveaway on their website. The Book Club Hub Newsletter will be an email newsletter geared towards people who are in or are running book clubs. It will feature suggestions, discussion guides and great ideas for your book clubs. You can see a preview by clicking here.

To enter the giveaway you just need to visit the contest page and click on the book you’d like to sign up to win. You can even go back and sign up for both books. Each day is a new giveaway so you can return to the site each day and try to win. Every few days the books change, so check back!

From me:

I've signed in to win the books a couple of times, and it's fun to see what they offer.  Just a neat perk in my day.  Haven't won yet, but will keep trying.  

Also, go to this page and browse through Tyndale's Holy Bible: Mosaic.  It looks beautiful. :)

Refreshment

Relaxing in bed this afternoon with the window up and sunshine pouring over my lap.  Perfect.  This followed the late service at church, hanging out 2 loads of clothes on the lines, and a toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch.  Also, drank two cups of tea.

Now vegetable soup simmers and I'll make cornbread in a few minutes.  Oldest daughter and I caved in terms of baking a treat for Sunday afters, and she bought a Mrs. Smith's chocolate cream pie.  We always get a kick out of those pies.  We Smiths get few laughs as it is, so we'll take it as it comes.

A restful day, and for that I'm thankful.  Hope to spread the current mood into the coming week.  School starts up again tomorrow, and I'm not in favor it jumping into that with too much of a bang.  A slow start sounds so much better.

Now looking forward to 'The Amazing Race' after dinner with pie and more tea.  Enjoy yours!

A warm Saturday afternoon

The blogging world has been a bit more quiet than usual this past week.  Least the folks I visit on a regular basis.  Not sure but the tragedy in Japan has affected us more deeply than we're able to admit.  It is jarring.  But maybe that's not the reason for the silences.  Just thinking it might be a possibility.

When I see or hear about such hard times, I find myself unable to enjoy my own life as well as usual.  I commiserate to the extreme---and that's not good.  It's healthy to have balance.  Empathise, yes.  But to live my own life as well.  Not always easy for me.

But today is so pretty, it's a shame to bury it in painful thoughts.  Have tried to slow down and rest.  Sat out on the front porch this morning and enjoyed the quiet.  Our across-the-street neighbors who get riled (usually on the weekends) have been away, which is nice.  Once the cars begin to arrive at the grandmother's house (she's the one who really lives there), then we tend to stay inside more on those days.  They do get loud.

Will leave in a bit to buy some groceries for a couple of days.  Have a hankering to make a fancy dessert, but not sure what exactly that means.  Maybe something we've never had.  That'd be nice and something to look forward to.  I'll watch for the moon at sunset since it's supposed to be larger than normal, being that it's 'super moon' day.  Supposedly the closer it is to the horizon, the more impressive it will be, and thankfully we've had a clear day.

Time to be off and doing things.  Have a restful weekend.

For Japan

Searching for quiet

It's a warm day (around 75 degrees), and Daisy the pug sits in my lap.  And I'm trying to settle my spirits and get out of a fretting mode that's sitting on top of me.  Just read the news.  Big mistake, especially the article written by someone in Great Britain about how Memphis is sitting on a dangerous fault-line (not a big secret) and how we could be hit by the next *big one*.  Thanks.  That's information that we all need to hear (written with heavy sarcasm). 

Guess I don't understand how sensational reporting does anyone any good.  Perhaps it makes the folks who write it feel important.  Don't know.

I remember an older man who predicted an earthquake to hit here years ago, and he had a specific date.  The date passed, he died and that story died as well.

Now we have a close relative and a friend as well who support the idea that the world will end on May 21, 2011.  Huh.  That'll be interesting to see play out. 

Predictions.  Not sure they're a very wise indulgence.

Think instead I'll follow my husband's advice and just do what I know to do.  First pray, then take care of my family to the best of my ability and continue doing the daily sorts of things.  There's a Japanese word that I've recently discovered and it's so apt.   It's seijaku and relates to serenity, even quietness in the midst of activity.  Not too different from the phrase on my sidebar, festina lente, which is Latin for making haste slowly.  Similar, don't you think?  Wise words, and worthy of taking note, especially now.

(photo of Japanese characters for seijaku)

Letting go

Had some alone time this morning while Gary was showering---just thinking about him being at the shop later on, and brooding on how he needs work to come in.  A woman he's done something for in the past asked for a bid for twin beds earlier this week, and got back with him yesterday and said no.  She wanted to go to Pottery Barn instead, and Gary said he can't even begin to compete with those prices.  Another bid is out for a bedside table, and he's not heard a response on that one.  A designer has a client who showed interest in a pair of chairs he'd made, but we're waiting on that as well.

A life of faith.  I'm not always a fan.  But sometimes, there's a tiny twinkle in my heart that believes God when He reminds us to not be anxious.  To tell Him about everything.  To have faith like a mustard seed (always wondered if there was a metaphor hidden in that verse since surely, surely I have *that* much faith).

Getting back to that first paragraph....well, I started brooding, but soon went into prayer mode.  I get antsy and try to figure out things, and then tend to break down and realize that God's got it all under control.  I'm reminded of things He's done in the past that I could never have imagined.

Even yesterday, in regards to Daisy the pug....I figured there would be either Plan A or Plan B.  The first one would've been the bladder stones being gone.  Plan B would've involved surgery.  As it happens, Plan C occurred with Daisy getting a new diet.  Nothing earth-shattering, but another way of the situation working out.  And in general life, that seems to hold true as well.  I'll dream up a way for God to answer my prayers, and 9 times out of 10 He's got it covered in some unexpected manner.

My main malfunction?  I tend to be overly dramatic, imagining the worst case scenario.  The way I figure it, if I mentally go to the extreme, I'm never disappointed since that never happens.  Well, rarely.

Oldest daughter is taking me out to lunch today.  Gary leaves for working telling me to have fun the WHOLE day.  See?  I've been given permission, but it's up to me to see that it happens. :)

Update Wednesday afternoon:  bid for bedside table accepted (doing happy dance!)

(photo is of Daisy the pug doing what she does best---being in my lap wherever that happens to be)

This and that, but mostly that (and Daisy update)

Found this photo via Little Emma English Home, and she found it at Pinterest---a place that appears to be very Tumblr-esque.  Not sure about its particulars, but a curious place to click a topic and find photos from all over.  Inspiring, for sure.  And, by the way, I could totally walk into that room, cozy down with a book and cup of tea and just sit.  Perfect.

Am trying to distract myself since Daisy the pug has a doctor's visit scheduled at 3pm, after I take third son to work.  All skittery, wondering what the vet. will say, and hoping and praying for a good outcome.  She's obviously better from her bladder infection, and oddly enough, when I could actually feel her stones 2-3 weeks ago, I can't anymore.  Either I'm not looking in the right place, or indeed they're disappearing.

As Father Tim says in the Mitford books---I'm praying the prayer that never fails:  "Thy will be done."

Enjoy your day.

Update:  The vet. says that we'll put Daisy on a prescription dog food that causes the bladder stones (which she still has) to dissolve.  It's been ordered and should be in his office on Monday.  ::sigh::  No surgery for now, and she'll be on the food for 2 months.  Then we'll reevaluate.  All of it, good news!

Resting

I read a book back in 2007 called 'The Sonnet Lover' by Carol Goodman, and made a comment in my hand-written journal of the phrase 'contemplative joy' which is what I used to name this blog.  Here's part of that paragraph.

"Many are my aunt's roommates and friends, but my favorites are the small domestic still lifes that my aunt painted.  A china cup and a glassful of wildflowers beside a window looking out onto a windswept meadow, a woman's hand parting a lace curtain to reveal a snowy orchard, a Morris chair, its green upholstery cracked and scarred, the sun soaking into a rich red shawl tossed over the chair's back, its colors echoed in the autumn foliage glimpsed through a window behind the chair.  Each scene seems invested with a kind of contemplative joy."~page 56

Isn't that pretty?  Now, as for my own restful sort of scene---the rain falls and I'm tucked up in bed with my pile of books and a cup of tea middle daughter made me.  A perfectly made cup of tea is one of life's little pleasures I think.  It's very comforting besides.  During the night, the last trace of this virus hit me with a tight chest.  Vacuuming earlier was a bit of a challenge with my breathing being short.  Now as long as I take it easy, all should be well.  Oldest daughter is making tacos for dinner (which she generously bought), and I'm not gonna worry about nuthin'.  Deep breaths.  Well, you know.

(photo is of my current tea-drinking bowl from Anthropologie)

Sunday

• Getting over the sore throat that the kids passed around, and with it being Sunday, it's easy to be lazy and do nothing. 
• Watched the new Russell Crowe movie last night, and enjoyed it very much, and it IS action-packed.
• Spring Break this week.
• Praying over Daisy the pug repeatedly, so that when I take her to the vet. (maybe on Tuesday), he'll say that her diet/meds have reduced the size of her bladder stones.  Not exaggerating to say that it terrifies me to think of her having surgery.
• Downloaded several free (new) books to my Kindle.  If you look hard, it's easy to find new releases that are free for a brief time.
• Not sure what's for dinner.  
• Little girls making chocolate chip cookies.
• But cookies aren't appropriate dinner fare.  Well, maybe if they are made of meat.
• Wanting so badly for this to be a restful week.
• Still working on having a more willing spirit in regards to helping my mom.  I'm struggling.
• Feeling a bit short-tempered and wrung out.
• Reminder...Spring Break.
• Windows are up, temperatures are mild, and I need to acquire a thankful heart.
• Being tired on a continual basis sort of mucks up many lofty goals.
• Daily mantra---'just do today'.

Praying for Japan

My friend, Heather, mentioned on her Twitter account that she put cherry blossoms on her iPod wallpaper as a reminder to pray for Japan.  I thought that was such a good idea, and have done the same here.  Thanks, sweet friend.

On my warm Saturday

Still feeling numb with the news on Japan, and it's not even personal, but that sort of devastation is mind-blowing.  Sort of makes my frivolous thoughts seem even more frivolous.  I sat here on the computer last night gorging myself too full of videos and photos of what had happened, like many people, I'm sure.

Today am trying to distance myself a bit, which is healthier.  But it all makes me want to re-fill the 55-gallon plastic water barrel we keep out back---refresh it a bit, and begin buying bottled water to have handy.  To have drygoods put back as well, but with our income, we stay just on top of things.  That manna doesn't hoard, you know.

I heard the the earthquake shifted the earth's axis, and that's not an uncommon occurrence with events like this.  Huh.  I'd never heard of that, but on first read, it sounds a bit scary.  Apparently not, though.  Just one of those things that happens.

Well, will rest a bit more, which won't last too awfully long.  I can hear that Gary's got the chainsaw working again---he took it apart and put it back together this afternoon.  He's wanting to do a bit of yard cleaning, and uses the saw to chop down our fountain grass (we have LOTS of it), and the weather is perfect for that.  The grass is about to begin putting out fresh shoots, and the old bits have to be cut at the ground level.

I think I'll let the boys do this and will bake inside.  Middle daughter wants to make lemon squares and we're having quiche for dinner.  Sounds better than yard work any day. :)

On my chilly Thursday

Have had a good week with sort of keying down my routine.  With my mom having company, it's really been good not to be on the front lines for tending.  Not meaning to sound grumpy about that, in case I do, but breaks are very good, and we'd do well to take them when we can.  Her guests left this morning, so we're back to being on watch for her, but that's as it should be.  She said she might be ready to go back to her church next Sunday, and we'll wait and see about that.  She's still suffering a bit from a hermit mentality, which I hope she can ease out of soon. 

And we'll wind up our schoolwork tomorrow in joyous anticipation of Spring Break next week.  I'm really looking forward to that.  Just a breather.  Refreshment.  Wonderful.  And I just checked and the temperatures for next week are supposed to be in the 70's.  Perfect for a holiday!

Well, must go now.  Nothing pressing, but I have to drop off a son somewhere.  But I get to drive oldest daughter's pick-up.  Always a treat. :)

Enjoy what's left of your day.

Warning: melancholy post

 “There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea.” ~Bernard-Paul Heroux

Husband is at work and the house continues to sleep.  Yeah, it's late in the morning for most sleeping to be done, but with two boys working at a restaurant that often doesn't allow them to return home until near midnight, our routines take a different route sometimes.  Plus, several of the children are still recovering from colds.  You know how it is.

Hopefully the rain is going to stop today.  I yearn to hang out some clothes, but it's still drippy out there, and with the ground so wet, would be an exercise in futility.

Still, hoping and praying for a good day and an attitude to go along with it.  Grocery buying to be done, dog food to get in, and minor tidying in the house.  I intend to get to the bottom of the dirty clothes basket, though.  Gary had a hard time finding socks to lay out for this morning's wear, and the kids tend to swipe his from his drawer, especially since many times he tends to be the only tidy one around here.  Out of ten people in this house, only 3 of them are orderly with their stuff.  The rest of us are slobs.  Bless 'em. :)

In closing, am thankful for my niece and her son who are staying with my mom for a few days this week.  That gives me a mental breather, even though the worry over my mom doesn't let up too awfully much.  I have physical distance for now, which is sometimes necessary.  I'm a tiny bit concerned for my mom's mental state, and not sure if her unsteadiness is due to being homebound (her choice) for so many weeks, or if there's something else going on.  Her hearing is getting gradually weaker, and I know that needs to be addressed before too much more time has passed.  Talking to her has become a challenge, and I find myself *not* telling her some things because the effort of making her understand can be frustrating.

Am understanding why solitary confinement is a punishment for folks in prison.  With my mom mainly getting her socialization via the telephone, with very few visitors, her personality has changed.  Maybe that's what's contributing to her mental oddness.   Who'd have thought that a broken arm would be so complicated?

By the way, new photos up on my Tumblr.  Please visit. :)

A quiet Tuesday

Pretty quiet around here, with the weather drizzly and the house quiet with children recovering from sore throats and sniffles.  Fortunately this bug is short-lived, with them being sick only about 3 days.  We can all handle that. 

I cut some more forsythia from the garden to put into a vase on the piano, and oldest daughter's guest from the weekend bought me a bouquet of campanula (canterbury bells).  So pretty and purple.  She scored high with that selection, especially with the color.  With a few daffodils stuck in a vase as well, we're all flowery inside. 

Re-reading 'Jane Eyre', and hoping to get into 'Persuasion' after that.  I'm taking a mini-break from reviewing any books.  It gets a tad tiresome having to give critiques when I really don't feel motivated.  Finished Paul E. Miller's 'A Praying Life', last night, and it really got me to thinking.  It's not a feel-good book, but one that causes the reader to take prayer more seriously, and to get involved in a more conversational relationship with the Lord.  I found myself alternately crying and becoming frustrated---all fine emotions considering the book's content.  It was all good.  And am picking up Swenson's 'A Minute of Margin' from time to time---getting myself more settled in my mind, and making time for quiet.  It's not always a priority, but this book forces you to adopt a less hectic lifestyle.

Will rest a bit more then am going to whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies.  Taking time to do homey tasks, and even while I was at the grocery store yesterday, just wanted to focus on home.  Cookies help with that. :)  Vegetable soup simmers in the crock pot and there are plenty of teabags available.  You're welcome to pop in anytime, especially when the house is tidy (like now!).

Sunday afternoon

French bread dough is rising, or is at least thinking about it.  Got the recipe out of one of my Fanny Farmer cookbooks (of which I have a sweet collection of about 6 copies or so, and of different years).  I love Fanny Farmer.  Will begin the Coq au Vin a bit later on, since it doesn't require the long cooking as last week's Beef Burgundy.  Fourth son has put two apple pies into the oven, with a streusel topping, which we'll have with vanilla ice cream after dinner.  I can feel the yum-ness coming on even now. :)

And reading a restful book one of my brothers recommended, this one called, 'A Minute of Margin' by Richard A. Swenson.  The sub-title is 'restoring balance to busy lives' which sort of says it all.  If anyone needs this book, it's me, and probably some of you as well.

Time to chill.  I'm going to rest my bones before settling into more of the evening meal.  Three of the children  have healing sore throats and sniffles.  Makes for a cozy day in a way.  Less running around.  Besides, it's a chilly and overcast day.  Perfect for being inside.

Honey & Jam

When I was at the bookstore on Thursday and bought 'Where Women Cook', I also thumbed through the new lavender (so pretty) issue of 'Artful Blogging' (which I had to put down because one Stampington magazine at a time is all I can swing). Inside the current issue, I found a blogging site (with photography and recipes---yum) I'd been unaware of, but the photographs are so wonderful, I have to share it with you. It's Honey & Jam, and the photos speak for themselves.  They are breath-taking.  The owner of the site is beautiful as well, as you can see by her photo here.

Just something inspiring to carry into your day. :)

Winding up the week

About to go over the kids' math and then we have to get this house in order. Oldest daughter has a girlfriend coming into town this evening (someone she met online), and we're in a bit of disarray 'round these parts. Plus, it looks like rain (feeling a Winnie-the-Pooh mood coming on) at least from what the radar is telling me.

And as far as plans go, it's all up in the air. If the weather holds out, might take the ones who're interested to the art gallery near us tomorrow morning (it's free if you get there before noon). Their bulbs are coming up and that's always a treat. Coq au Vin for dinner on Sunday with something dishy for dessert, maybe Key Lime Pie. And since the girls will spend the nights at my mom's, we won't be overly crowded. There's really not an inch of space to sleep a guest, but a personal want in my heart is a house big enough someday to allow for a guest bedroom. Wouldn't that be a treat? As for now, thankful for warm bodies to fill the beds we do have.

Windows up, washer chugging along, and lots to do. But none of it taxing.

Enjoy your day!

Highlights of the day

When the kids and I drove to my mom's this morning, we noticed a strange car in the driveway and jokingly one of the young ones wondered aloud if it might be the physical therapist. Got it in one! It was, and was her first visit. The highlight was the therapist being able to show my mom how to get out of her easy chair with only using her weight-bearing abilities and her good arm. Wonderful! This is amazing because Mom's been unable to sit in her den and watch television comfortably, since if she's gotten in the upholstered chair, she's had to have help getting up. So happy about this. More independence.

And, I bought a new magazine with the rest of my birthday money called, 'Where Women Cook'...one of the Stampington magazines which are so dishy. Pricey, but this one is well-worth it.

On other fronts I'm clueless, but the above is enough to keep me afloat for still another day.

A sunny day

Violet the pug is in my lap, making the act of typing very difficult.  She gets cold in the morning, though, and tends to need a cuddle.  Apparently Daisy the pug is satisfied with, what we call, the thinking chair and her covers.  One pug in my lap at a time is enough, least when I'm sitting at the dining room table like now.

Wanted to share a photo I found on Tumblr, and invite you to click on it and see the photographer's other pretties.  As for me, this garden will suit just fine. :)

Easy does it

Oldest daughter paid me, what I considered, a very high compliment the other day.  I was puttering around in the kitchen, not sure what I was doing, probably cleaning up, but she said that watching me was so restful.  Now, I'd not been intentionally feeling/being quiet and slow with my movements, but for some reason it came across that way.

I think I've figured out why the last few weeks have been so frustrating for me.  And in a conversation with one of my brothers yesterday (which was very encouraging), we sort of pigeon-holed where my head has been lately.  See, I tend to have this Zen thing going on a daily basis and try to find quiet places to put my thoughts.  Unfortunately Christians aren't too famous for being calm and restful (least not the ones I know), so deep breathing and slower movements tend to make me feel more at peace, if that even makes any sense.  I have to consciously go at my tasks in an intentional way.  One thing at a time.  Complete that action and move onto the next.  That works for me.  But stir me up with things coming up from the side, without any warning, and my center gets rocked.  Go figure.

So.  While today hasn't been too peaceful, with grocery chores, taking mom's things to her, going to the drugstore, etc., I can plan the rest of the day in that manner.  As of now, spaghetti sauce is in the crockpot, bread dough is rising, and while the house is in a mad state of disarray, if I can approach Gary's coming home in a calm state, then the rest of the bother just melts away.  He won't notice the mess if I seem okay.  He's like that.

Now is good.

A very chilly Tuesday morning

Bought a fresh, new copy of 'Jane Eyre' yesterday with some of my birthday money.  My old version is worn out---can't read it anymore without the pages falling out, not that that's a bad thing, but not very convenient.  Got the paperback Modern Library editions of Jane and 'Persuasion' and they're so pretty.  Nice covers and readable type.  The older I get, the more important an eye-pleasing font is to me. :)

Anyway, trying to mentally kick back and focus on things right in front of me.  Today will be full of a library trip, taking one son to work and possibly making a side trip to Fresh Market to look at tea.  I still have some birthday money to spend, and might indulge myself a tiny bit.  Sometimes we're due that, you know?

Hamburgers, fries and slaw for dinner, with the possibility of a chocolate layer cake.  As always, wish you were here.

Used part of my birthday money and bought Modern Library paperback copies of 'Jane Eyre' (my very favorite book of all time) and 'Persuasion'.  That publisher puts out such pretty books---nice paper, and readable type.  So collectible.  Began reading Jane again last night, and it was such a pleasure, especially with me being such a fiction glutton.  Sometimes I need a break from reviewing new books, and have an urge to get into the old books.  It's refreshing.

Not much going on in these parts.  Gary's shop is still in slow-down mode, and I'll admit it's frustrating.