Perspective

The recurring need I have when life gets pinchy, is to dig into domestic sorts of things.  I woke up this morning with the hint of a migraine nagging at the side of my head and took something immediately.  Then, after getting my pot of cardamom tea and buttered raisin bread, I sat down with a pile of pugs.  This is my routine every morning.  Tea and pugs in my lap.  It seems to center my day and if I start slowly, then things usually fall into place.

Called my mom right after and since she needed a small thing from the store, I agreed to drop it off.  As the morning wore on, though, I could see that my own mental health was a bit precarious, so called her back and postponed the visit until Friday.  That in itself was probably the smartest thing I've done all day.  Have just not felt strong enough to go to see her again, re-visit her recent 'adventure' and be someone to lean on.  Today I wasn't lean-worthy.

So, tomorrow morning we'll visit---my four youngest offspring and me---the boys will cut her grass and since fourth son has obligations with neighbors around noon, we have an excuse to come back home.  That's my craving just now.  Home.  I realize my mom is under a great amount of pressure, but I'm learning to see to my own needs as well.  On the best of days, I feel a bit spent.  And with this Achilles' heel of a headache lurking since Mom's dilemma began to get sticky, I have to put things in perspective.  A 3-day migraine extravaganza, I don't need.  But unfortunately the mishaps of one family member sent out amazing ripples to the rest of us.

(painting by stephen darbishire)