The day-to-day

Took the four youngest to the library and then to get a gallon of paint for the younger boys' room.  All good distractions, but we got caught in after-school traffic on the way back, and the hustle and bustle was terrible.  I'm usually spared that sort of busyness, since we're usually home in the afternoons, so was surprised at all the hurrying.  Here I am, trying to cope with some pretty terrible grief, and was brought down-to-earth by folks rushing around.  I always wonder why everyone's in such a tizzy.  Is anything that big of a deal?  Doubtful.

Pulling into the driveway was a relief.  Walking inside the house to the barking of our dogs was a comfort, as was just plopping into a chair with a glass of ice water.  Home.  No place better.

Gary told me to mind myself for the next few days and pay special attention to headaches.  He startled me by saying that, since I wasn't thinking I'd have a hard time physically in dealing with Patricia's death.  He was right. I have to cool it.  How often we tend to think we can 'do it all' and breeze right through hard times.

Tuesday will be a quiet one.  The most taxing thing I have to do is figure out dinner.  With a new piece of linen and some threads, will putter around with what I want to do for the stitching class that's this summer.  I've got lots of time to plan, but am looking forward to it, so got my fabric ahead of time.  Watercolors, open windows, books to read and minimal schoolwork for tomorrow.  Moving slowly and soft voices.  We're all tending one another gently.

Honestly I don't how I'll cope with Patricia gone.  She's been my go-to person when my depression has gotten out of hand.  And with about 8 years of friendship, there's a painful void staring me in the face.  A Patricia-shaped void.

Tina, if you're reading this, note that if anything happens to you, the void will be even more wretched.  Do you hear me?  Take care, sweet friend.