Perspective

~painting by carl holsoe

A year or so back, I can remember being at the grocery store with Gary and him stopping me in my tracks and telling me that he'd worry about the income and that I wasn't to fret over it.  He was adamant, and a bit testy.  Sort of shook me up, his aggressive attitude about it, but frankly, I'd gotten to where I put that conversation out of my mind. Kept picking that worry up. Figured worrying would sometime work to my advantage.  Uh.  Not working out that way.

I reminded him of that conversation the other afternoon, being that the groceries keep disappearing and the bills keep piling up.  He said that yes, he's still the one who's going to handle the income, and I can do whatever it is I do.  He wasn't playing with me, but was dead serious that he wants me to be happy here at home while he goes and slays the dragons.

Honestly, after reminding myself of that chat, I've made a concerted effort to let financial worries be set aside.  I'm paying better attention to my own job here....head cook and bottle washer, and I'm so much happier.  My fretting doesn't put food on the table, or money in my pocket.  It just makes me sad and aggravated.  The bills are still getting paid, and I'm much happier.

I mean, really, is Gary worrying about the kids during the day, whether I'm making sure they're getting fed?  Is he wondering if I'm washing the clothes or tending the chickens?  Does he think about the possibility of me running away from home?

It all makes such sense now.  Just have to keep it up.  That's the hard part.