First of all, Happy Thanksgiving to all. Secondly, I have to talk to myself here for a minute. This is one of the few places I give myself permission to be totally honest, so here we go.
I can't do this. I can't take in my mom. I really can't. I think Gary's so convinced me of it being the right thing to do (and maybe it is), but I've not put much thought into it. Here it is, 3 weeks to the day since her stroke, and her Rehab. there is coming to a close. She's able to feed herself (but it takes a really long time), can speak very well, yet you can tell she's had a stroke, but her personal skills (won't go into detail), and her ability to get up and down and walk are lagging behind.
All this is fine. She's made progress, and I'm thankful her stroke wasn't worse, very thankful, don't get me wrong.
Okay, so I call my out-of-town brother last night to tell him about the meeting, and I have to give him credit. He's trying. He's interested in getting Mom into a facility to work her a bit more, and said his mother-in-law was able to get more care beyond her Medicare via her deceased husband's VA benefits, and since my dad was a veteran, that Mom should be eligible too. I don't have a clue, but appreciate his willingness to look into it. He told me to not fret over Thanksgiving, that he'd get onto it on Friday (tomorrow) and figured we could get a delay in getting her released. He was surprised as the rest of us at the rush to let her go. Why are they?
We rushed into saying we'd take care of her before it was even considered that there were options open to us. Nobody at the hospital said anything about the availability of more therapy away from them----we were led to believe that after her hospital rehabilitation, she'd have home health care come in to work her a bit, then they'd be gone and then that's all she wrote. At 85 do you have a past-your-sale date in the medical world? Does that play into this scenario at all?
What blows my mind is the idea of having her here so quickly. We're not prepared and it'll take a lot of work to get the bedroom whipped into shape. And I don't want therapists in my house repeatedly during the week. I don't want the intrusion. Social workers here? No thanks. Small house, homeschoolers, many kids, nobody's business. You get my drift.
Second thoughts.
Most hard decisions I've had to face have afforded me some wiggle room. What has blown through my mind this morning is for her to go to her house (yes, Kim....I see the validity of it now), and was wondering if I could enlist members of her church to be available to rotate with us. That's sort of what the church family is for, right?
I feel painted into a corner, and the paint ain't dryin'....and the deadline is looming. I'd appreciate your prayers, even if I'm not aware of them. I need clarity and direction. I really do. I feel selfish, but if I am, I believe it's for the right reasons. What do folks do in this sort of situation?
