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| ~madelyn, nora, milk and anastasia was in henhouse laying |
Got up early, just after oldest daughter had let the dogs in/out, and fed the chickens. I couldn't get back to sleep after hearing her (quietly) move about. At around 6:30am I got my tea ready. Set up my tray and went out back with the chickens. I wasn't in their run, but sitting outside of it on the patio. Cloudy, quiet, birds, squirrels, silence, not much traffic yet to hear passing by, bliss. A pause before the day began.
After my tea, I sat inside the pen on a bucket I have in there, and after a few minutes Milk hopped in my lap, got some lovin' and then Nora hopped up. I love that. A cool, cloudy day and a chicken in my lap.
Perspective.
I read the Daily Office on my phone, and that gave me a peace to pad the day.
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| ~my love |
Gary and I agreed that we've felt dazed and confused today. Not sure what our son will do. Praying, letting go, and praying some more.
The thing that's hard is doing our best, or what's been a faulty best in raising our kids, and feeling that they sometimes lose their way. This son has been attracted by shiny things just like a magpie. The world is dazzling to him, he's not one to look far ahead and can only see that this choice will be magical. He can't see the challenge, and will likely plow ahead unless something stops him in his tracks. Bless him. I think part of him sees a situation where he can show up our oldest daughter who's been dating sweet Indian boyfriend over two years----he's trying to best her and first born, who's newly dating someone. He wants to be the first, I think. Not sure why this is a competition, but that's how it appears to me in a small way.
First born and oldest daughter have washed their hands of him, hurt by his disregard for their thoughts or care. He doesn't seem to see that their concern is driven by love for him. To hate to see him walk into a hard situation at the get-go.
One day at a time.
