A dear older friend at church has entered hospice care, and it's sort of the last straw. Still reeling from daughter's truck being stolen. And thinking about childrens' love lives, but not fretting about that issue. Just on my mind. Other stuff I won't get into. Glad I've got some Scripture memorized, since the verses you need will indeed pop up into your head when you most need them.
Funny thing. Or not so funny. A couple of months ago, I prayed to the Lord about wanting to be a person whose eyes betrayed a softness. Now, I tend to have a spicy side not too far below the surface. I can get real mad, real quick. But I'd been thinking about folks I know. Christians. And how sometimes you run across a person with such a kindness in their eyes. A kindness that's only achieved by pain. Do you know what I mean? Well, I prayed to be one of those people. Ever since then...now, it might be a coincidence, but ever since then, life has kicked up a notch. HARD. And after I got over my mad, and my frustration, and trying to manage a particular situation, I've come to a place where I'm exhausted, but surrendered. Not so sure anyone would see a gentleness in my own eyes, but maybe a fatigue that tells of pain. I'm sure that's there. But am I sorry I prayed that? Not really. A bit surprised at what's occurred, but not sorry.
I'll now take some deep breaths, listen to restful music and let things go. Just thinking that way puts my heart at ease just a bit. Knowing that the Lord has everything under control. Everything. Take care, loves.
...and yes, I'm reading Middlemarch....hadn't realized how not smart I am until I began to read it. :)
