I've had prayers before where I ask God why He's allowing such suffering on our parts. Why not have the hard bits when our health is peachy, when we have extra cash and don't feel so depleted. So, He says to me, "It's easy to be faithful when life is tidy. The challenge is to stand firm when everything's stacked up against you. That's faith. To see trouble in your life, but to trust in what you can't see."
I'm a slow learner.
In our faith walk, it seems we go through the same steps every time. Bewildered acceptance, confusion, anger, surrender, then the real faith steps in. This is our experience. Again and again. After awhile I'm not mad, but sort of like throw up my hands and say, "Whatever!" His will. Not having much of a success rate with my will. My track record is pretty lousy there. :)
Manna everyday, but bill money only trickles in. And I say, "Lord, You know when this is due. You know when it's overdue." He smiles (in my head) and says to just trust Him. The smile gets me every time. I get bogged down on the calender, and He tells me that there's a bigger lesson being learned. He's not a monster, but does have a point. Maybe the point is that He's not mean, but teaching me to not be fearful.
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Migraine this morning. One of those that makes you want to hold onto the top of your head so it won't fall off. BC Powders are magical. Took a second one about 1/2 an hour ago. Blowing off some stress, I'm sure. Migraines are sort of like volcanoes or earthquakes to me. From time to time, I just need one to come along. The smoke in my brain has to go somewheres.
Love my husband. When the shop is slow, it's hard for him to bear up. We're both resolved at this time that it'll be fine. We've been reassured by a fleece (God instructed) that we're in the right place. Fidgety, but good.
