Bride-to-be came over on Saturday and we finalized plans for the rehearsal dinner. All went well. She stayed almost two hours, which was a good omen. And she bent down and hugged me before she left, so I'd say we've made progress (I was holding Daisy the pug in my lap who was feeling poorly.). This-coming Saturday the girls and I will meet her and her mom (who we've never met) at the chapel where the wedding will take place. Get a feel for it. Guess it's really happening---full speed ahead. In my heart, I'm glad. Really.
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And let me say this, not directed at the wedding, but at life in general. Here's the thing. My faith walk has never been as strong as it is now, and also, I've never been hit by as much opposition from the dark side as now either. We really are at war. I'm tired, and my physical appearance seems to me to be worn. But my spirit is so alive. The package is ragged, but the Lord is so present to me.
I'd say that it must be worth it. Count it all joy, yes? Not easy to consider a sacrifice of your children's present lives as being of benefit to your own walk with the Lord. Hard to put it that way.
Months and months ago I prayed that my eyes would show a look (I've mentioned this), one that made it apparent that I'd experienced life. What I'd overlooked was that actual experience was what was necessary. I wasn't looking for trials, but wanted to be sensitive, approachable. I meet folks with flashing eyes, and a darting look. Not focusing on the one they're with and unable to land. Not what I want. Folks are hurting and are seeking those who've been there. I know I am. To see evidence that if you can survive your hardships, then I can as well. On a funny note, the least one was looking at a photo of my maternal great grandmother the other day and I asked her if she saw a resemblance. She said no, my eyes are sad. My great grandmother's aren't. Oh well.
(listening to Let Them See You by J J Weeks band...instrumental part at 3:35)
