Wednesday's thoughts

The second day of school went swimmingly.  Wasn't sure earlier how it'd go, being that youngest son who graduates in May/June is such a non-talker.  Well, unless he's worked up about something, or excited.  Very introverted, but a bit more involvement in conversations especially related to schoolwork is appreciated.  You'd think that after teaching him for all these years he'd get it.  Speak to me!  The girls (12 and 15 years old) are best friends, so very willing to be involved.  They have one another to bat things off of.  As it was today, we went over his Trigonometry and involved the girls as well, and I read from TS Eliot's Murder in the Cathedral, which they all seemed to enjoy.  Some other things in Poetry, and we called it an afternoon.  A slow glide into the school year.  

Took my herbal concoctions, since the day began as a bad Mental Health Day.  Had to round up my bottles, and it always helps, as did a nap mid-afternoon.  Actually, with the high alcohol content of my tinctures, you have to wonder if the herbs help, or that swift shot of brandy/vodka.  Kidding.

Or not.

Now working in my head on a list of the 10 most important books I've ever read that I was tagged with on FB by a girlfriend.  Stumped on the answer.  I read ALL THE TIME, and to limit myself to ten is a bit challenging.  She says to not over-think it.  Also hard.  I overthink as a hobby.

Will post the books here when I get it all figured out.

Sunday night

Was reading T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets last night and while I'm a bit rusty on poetry lately, having only read Ted Kooser for any long while, it still gets to me.  I'll be reading along, and Eliot's use of words smacks me upside the head, causing me to cry.  I'm such a mess.

~ ~ ~

And I've hurt my left knee, further aggravated by driving oldest daughter's stick shift, which had a new clutch recently installed on it.  Tight.  So my kneecap is wobbling a bit, and I'll have to do exercises to strengthen the muscles up.  Iced now, and therapy after it stops hurting.  Slows me down, though, which I need.  Forced stillness, that is, unless I need to hobble somewhere.

~ ~ ~

In addition, just spent some time in tears for one of my oldest friends.  We've known one another since ninth grade.  Had just written her online tonight asking prayer for our Joseph, and she shared that her 'just graduated from high school' youngest daughter had moved in last night with her unsaved boyfriend and his mother.  What is wrong with people?  Young people in particular.  Just breaks my heart.  And I've been sharing with a sweet friend at church whose son is seriously dating an unbeliever.  Can't tear himself away from her.  Conflicted.  My friend and her husband are adamant about believers not being paired with those who don't know the Lord.  Recipe for disaster, either now or later.  There's a fight to win.  And not later.  Time to get rowdy with those demons who've got their claws in our children.

Listening to Mercy Me's newest CD.  It helps.

T. S. Eliot

So, the other day at the used library bookstore, I found the above-pictured book Lives of the Saints and thought it was pretty peachy.  Only $3, but I left without it.  Had only bought T.S. Eliot's Murder in the Cathedral ($1.50), and something for the girls, but was resisting further temptation.  Bought a couple of used books the night before somewhere else.  Addict.

Couldn't get the Saints book out my head (closet Catholic, remember), and went back today.  Also, was able to buy Eliot's Four Quartets for a buck, which our library doesn't have on the shelves (and really doesn't now with me having gotten the one at their bookstore).  You'd think they'd know.  I was able to load it on my Kindle the other day, but that's just not the same.  I like to have a hard copy and a pencil at hand.  

Anyway, finished Murder in the Cathedral last night, and all I can say is wow.  When a writer can get a feeling across that goes deeper than the print in front of you, that's a gift.  C.S. Lewis had it, as did George MacDonald. It's such a rare gift, that I rarely even see it expressed.

Got online to research Thomas Becket (who's the main character in the Cathedral book), and my new chubby Saints book was able to give me some more information.  Also, since the play talks about Saint's Days, which we Anglicans are on top of, I knew what was going on.  

Can I say for the upteenth time I love the Anglican church?  I do.  Really.  

~ ~ ~

And it's raining---the first appreciable amount in over a month, least at our house.  And there's beef stew for dinner, and I might make a pan of shortbread later on.  I've already bought the flowers for the altar as well. A perfect evening.

What I think of the ice bucket challenge

I copied a graphic on my FB page that says, "What if the ice bucket challenge is a Catholic plot to baptize all non-believers."  Yes, made me laugh out loud.  Personally I think that's the best good to come out of the the challenge.  No, I'll take that back.   The money they've gained for ALS is marvelous.  I do take issue, however, with folks being so light-hearted about a disease that's awful in the worst sense.  I'd score it against cancer anyday, and not sure but cancer seems more appealing.

Some of you know about my neighbor, Lisa, who died from ALS back nearly 7 years ago (11-19-2007), and nothing has been the same since.  Maybe I sound dramatic, and don't mean to, but there are some events of a person's life that are so stunning that you don't survive them without scars.

If someone doesn't know upfront how awful ALS is, then I recommend listening closely to anyone who does.  Your body quits responding to what you want it to do.  Picking up things, making your feet behave, going to the bathroom and cleaning yourself off, dressing, getting up from a seated position, typing, talking, writing your name, fetching the mail, driving, walking outside in your own backyard, and all the while you're completely aware of what's happening.  There is no mental deterioration.  You see how your body is deceiving you and how folks have to help and you can't do a darn thing about it.  You're helpless.  Not paralyzed, but your muscles are gradually useless.

So while the nation gets all happy feeling about dumping ice water over their heads, I just shake mine.  Again, though, do donate.  Hopefully the money will be used appropriately.  But don't laugh.  It's horrendous.  To see celebrities patting themselves on the back over how cute they look all wet---well, it makes me want to slap someone.

The best thing, though, to come out of my neighbor's illness and death (for me) was meeting and loving her sister, who came here from California to nurse her.  We grew close and she's like the best sort of sister to me.  God blesses even in the midst of pain.  Good out of bad.  And for that I'm thankful.

Reading list

Finished Middlemarch---my grand achievement of the summer, which trumps my survival of mothering these past few months.  I had a goal, and I reached it.  And I'm thinking it's the longest book I've ever read.  Tried War and Peace, and enjoyed what I read---even laughed at parts of it, some of the characters are laugh out loud funny---but put it down.  As to whether I enjoyed Middlemarch, yes I did, but George Eliot is very long-winded.  She writes in my favorite period, but I became bored with some of her endless chatter.  She does have a gift, however, for being very specific in her personality depictions, and she gets into folks' heads very thoroughly.  No further explanations necessary, but she is sort of magical that way.  I bow to her talent, which is very obvious.  I give it five stars since it's stood the test of time, and was definitely worth reading.  No higher praise necessary.

And went to a used bookstore last night, and today at the library's bookstore.  I'd already downloaded TS Eliot's Four Quartets and put it on my Kindle the other night.  Got a real copy of his Murder in the Cathedral, which precedes it.  We'll see how intelligent I feel while working on that baby.  Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.  And last night got Alexandra Stoddard's Gracious Living in the New World ($3) which is about finding quiet and peace in the technological age we live in.  Seemed appropriate for me, plus picked up a beautiful paperback copy of Laurel's Kitchen Recipes to go with the bread book of hers I already own.  And---the new copy of Romantic Homes magazine, my best treat.  It's been a dog's age since I've bought a new magazine.  Used to be a favorite past-time, but with so many of my favorites going out of business, this was fun to buy.

On the down side, got library books on Physics and Trigonometry, which youngest son (who graduates next spring) will have to do.  Science and math.  Huh.  Prefer English and Grammar.  What I said about the knife in the drawer.  

Also in the pile from the library When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd and The Cloud of Unknowing which is on my Kindle as well, but a hard copy is nice to flip through.  Strength for the Moment is another one (about caregiving), and Down the Rabbit Hole, about children's literature.  Just trying to get into the school swing of things.  Grateful for a holiday weekend, then it's down to work. :)

Home thoughts

Have gotten a lot done today, which seems to be my personal litmus test as to whether I'm a worthy human being.  Woke up at a reasonable time....and trying to relish the last few days before school starts here on Tuesday.  Sleep is good.  Melatonin is a blessing.

Made 8 bottles of tinctures including an Elderberry, Chasteberry, and Lemon Balm.  The Elderberry has been my go-to healer when any sniffles or fever comes calling.  Works every time.  Brilliant stuff.  

Now cake is baking, and middle daughter will mix up some yeast rolls in a bit.  Making Julia Child's Potato/Leek soup that's mentioned in Julie and Julia.  Was reading that last weekend, skittering past the $%@# that comes repeatedly.  Do folks really cuss that much, and in the company of just about anyone?  Call me naive.  Anyway, reading about that potato soup made me hungry, even though the leeks yesterday at the store were $2.69/lb., which is awful, especially considering that 3 leeks all wrapped in an elastic was about 2-3/4 pounds themselves.  Seriously?  But, since I got 3 bags of those yummy yellow potatoes for a buck a bag (5# each), can't complain overmuch.  The savings on those counteracts the expense of the leeks.

Do you see a pattern here?  Seems I have to justify my actions, sort of having to earn a treat (the leeks) by making a sacrifice in another way.  Case in point:  My brothers, who have very little to do with my mom now since she's leveled off since her stroke, have told me to pay myself about a monthly $200-250 for what I do for her.  Okay, fine.  I appreciate it and tend to just let her buy me groceries a bit every visit.  It pans out.  BUT.  But.  I get all het up when I get too close to that amount, or if her bank balance gets a bit lower than I'm comfortable with (property taxes due this month, and still hammering out her hospital bills).  The thing is, she always has money, and I'm very cautious.  But I feel guilty using her money, even though everyone (including her) knows I'm doing it.  

I need to give myself a bit, fat break.  The girls just shake their heads at me, as they should.

~ ~ ~

About to read more of Middlemarch.  After dragging myself through that book this summer, I'm finally in the home stretch.  My copy has 811 pages, and I'm on page 697 now.  Finally it's coming together with some romances either under fire, or in the throes of something-or-other.  I'm not sure how they'll all end, and without cheating, should be finished by tomorrow night.  Had given myself the summer to finish it, and am right on time.

Will go now.  Need to turn off the sprinkler.  It's dry as can be here, and have had the water on in the backyard.  The chickens are sort of scared of it, but it does bring some coolness to their run.  Take care all.

Sunday night

~sweetness, whoever they are 

Last week before school starts in our little village, the day after Labor Day.  Need to make it count.  Frankly, this summer has been a bit like our preceding spring and winter.  HARD.  Lots of personal drama in our house, and in my mom's.  I'd relish a bit of time without the constant surprises.  Just plain living would be a nice change.  No excitement, or if excitement, of the happy variety.  That'd be acceptable.

Boring stuff.  A clean house.  Good food to eat.  Piles of books.  Healthy kids.  No evil spirits messing up the works.  Maybe some cooler days.  Just an ordinary week.  No raised voices.  Sounds like my brand of bliss.

Speaking of cooler.  It was darn hot today and I put two frozen 2-liter plastic bottles laying flat underneath the chickens' roosting perch for the night.  They'd been sitting there with their little wings held out from their bodies, a sure sign of overheating.  Had the ingenious brainstorm of putting the bottles underneath them, so that the cool air will waft up to them.  I remember when our kids were small they'd take a frozen bottle (wrapped up in a towel) to bed with them.  The opposite of a hot water bottle.  So smart.

Now will toddle off.  Second son will be home from the restaurant soon and he's asked me to cut his hair.  It's 10:30pm now.  Why am I telling you all these things?

But as I said....ordinary.  It's what I want.