A cold, windy and bright Monday

After a very wet, drizzly weekend, it's nice to see the sun shining this morning.  Cold, though.  But come Wednesday, we're supposed to be creeping back into our 'more seasonal' fifties for the daytime.  The way this cold has blasted in, it's been feeling more like December.  Things seem to be a month ahead of time.  Usually, when I delay hanging out the Christmas lights on the porch, 'round about the second week of December, I regret it because it's hard to do that and wear gloves at the same time.  That's what it feels like outside now.  Below 30 degrees, a wind whipping around, and not friendly to fingers.  But I'm cozy in bed, tea tray abandoned, and a vanilla cookie candle flickering.  Planning my day's strategy.

Not in a hurry.  I've got all day.

Thinking of taking the kids to the library, since I'd like to postpone Monday, if I can.  Youngest son, the one who's rankling my nerves lately, and the nerves of every female in the house who has to live with him, might benefit from a pile of books.  Yeah, I'm an Introvert too, but not socializing with your own family is sort of taboo.  He could actually speak, yes?

I'm preferring females lately, and very grateful for having 3 girls of my own.  What a huge blessing, especially since I wasn't blessed with sisters.

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Put a couple of new (not to me, but to my reader app) blogs on my feed.  The ones with the gorgeous photos, obedient children, clean houses, and not-a-problem-in-sight.  I figure I could use the encouragement, especially in the midst of my woodboy taking on the long-term project of cleaning out the attic, which commenced on Saturday.  There has been evidence of wildlife taking up residence up there (deceased now), and they (yes, they, not only one critter) left a bit of a mess behind.  I need bucking up, with the nastiness above our heads.  And as my sidekick said---we shouldn't be living like this.  Oh, so true.

~ ~ ~

So, that's my day.  And maybe fitting in some pre-Thanksgiving cleaning, though I'm not going to overdo that.  I figure when engaged son's fiance comes, we'll use lots of candles, since she'll be here after dark for dessert, and can camouflage any short-comings with shadows and flickering light.  Old bunged up houses need to be shown grace in bright light. so candles it is.

Enjoy your day.  A fresh new one is always a blessing.

Herbal goodness and a birthday

Took one son to Whole Foods this evening after dinner to get the remaining ingredients for Rosemary Gladstar's Fire Cider, or a fair copy.  Something new to me, it's made of raw horseradish, raw ginger root, jalapeno peppers, onion, lots of garlic---layered in a jar and then weighted and covered with unfiltered apple cider vinegar.  Set aside for up to a month, then strained and flavored with raw honey.  Saves all through the winter, and is said to help stave off the creepies. Looking forward to mixing it all up, and will hunt down some plastic gloves.  Makes me happy to do this stuff.  I could make tinctures, etc. all day and be content.  That being said, I have an Elderberry tincture and an Echinacea one to strain and bottle up tomorrow.  I'll be busy.

And just ordered some herbs online at Mountain Rose Herbs (things I can't find at the hippy store here) to fill capsules for winter's additional healing if we're hit with coughs.  I'm thinking the flu won't call at our door since we all had it last year and it seems we get about 12 months worth of immunity.  That's been the case in the past.

And tomorrow is middle daughter's sixteenth birthday.  Fun.  Deep dish apple pie (instead of cake) for dessert and Spanakopita (with chicken) for dinner.  More fun.  And in addition to middle daughter's gifts, we found two cups and saucers (at TJ Maxx) for both her and the least one, so they both get a gift first thing in the morning.  Bought them a cinnamon roll to split too.  Can't wait to see what they say about them.  

Going to settle into the rest of the night now.  I bought two bars of soap at the store tonight as well.  Almond is one and the other is called Dirty Hippie and is made of Patchouli and Nutmeg, heavy on the Patchouli.  Smells delicious.  A hot bath sounds nice.  Then will find something easy to read in bed---had begun and gotten pretty far in William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury and it makes my brain hurt.  So different from the book of his I read last week and enjoyed so much.  I need a break from thinking.

Time for quiet.

Wednesday's thoughts

The second day of school went swimmingly.  Wasn't sure earlier how it'd go, being that youngest son who graduates in May/June is such a non-talker.  Well, unless he's worked up about something, or excited.  Very introverted, but a bit more involvement in conversations especially related to schoolwork is appreciated.  You'd think that after teaching him for all these years he'd get it.  Speak to me!  The girls (12 and 15 years old) are best friends, so very willing to be involved.  They have one another to bat things off of.  As it was today, we went over his Trigonometry and involved the girls as well, and I read from TS Eliot's Murder in the Cathedral, which they all seemed to enjoy.  Some other things in Poetry, and we called it an afternoon.  A slow glide into the school year.  

Took my herbal concoctions, since the day began as a bad Mental Health Day.  Had to round up my bottles, and it always helps, as did a nap mid-afternoon.  Actually, with the high alcohol content of my tinctures, you have to wonder if the herbs help, or that swift shot of brandy/vodka.  Kidding.

Or not.

Now working in my head on a list of the 10 most important books I've ever read that I was tagged with on FB by a girlfriend.  Stumped on the answer.  I read ALL THE TIME, and to limit myself to ten is a bit challenging.  She says to not over-think it.  Also hard.  I overthink as a hobby.

Will post the books here when I get it all figured out.

Home thoughts

Have gotten a lot done today, which seems to be my personal litmus test as to whether I'm a worthy human being.  Woke up at a reasonable time....and trying to relish the last few days before school starts here on Tuesday.  Sleep is good.  Melatonin is a blessing.

Made 8 bottles of tinctures including an Elderberry, Chasteberry, and Lemon Balm.  The Elderberry has been my go-to healer when any sniffles or fever comes calling.  Works every time.  Brilliant stuff.  

Now cake is baking, and middle daughter will mix up some yeast rolls in a bit.  Making Julia Child's Potato/Leek soup that's mentioned in Julie and Julia.  Was reading that last weekend, skittering past the $%@# that comes repeatedly.  Do folks really cuss that much, and in the company of just about anyone?  Call me naive.  Anyway, reading about that potato soup made me hungry, even though the leeks yesterday at the store were $2.69/lb., which is awful, especially considering that 3 leeks all wrapped in an elastic was about 2-3/4 pounds themselves.  Seriously?  But, since I got 3 bags of those yummy yellow potatoes for a buck a bag (5# each), can't complain overmuch.  The savings on those counteracts the expense of the leeks.

Do you see a pattern here?  Seems I have to justify my actions, sort of having to earn a treat (the leeks) by making a sacrifice in another way.  Case in point:  My brothers, who have very little to do with my mom now since she's leveled off since her stroke, have told me to pay myself about a monthly $200-250 for what I do for her.  Okay, fine.  I appreciate it and tend to just let her buy me groceries a bit every visit.  It pans out.  BUT.  But.  I get all het up when I get too close to that amount, or if her bank balance gets a bit lower than I'm comfortable with (property taxes due this month, and still hammering out her hospital bills).  The thing is, she always has money, and I'm very cautious.  But I feel guilty using her money, even though everyone (including her) knows I'm doing it.  

I need to give myself a bit, fat break.  The girls just shake their heads at me, as they should.

~ ~ ~

About to read more of Middlemarch.  After dragging myself through that book this summer, I'm finally in the home stretch.  My copy has 811 pages, and I'm on page 697 now.  Finally it's coming together with some romances either under fire, or in the throes of something-or-other.  I'm not sure how they'll all end, and without cheating, should be finished by tomorrow night.  Had given myself the summer to finish it, and am right on time.

Will go now.  Need to turn off the sprinkler.  It's dry as can be here, and have had the water on in the backyard.  The chickens are sort of scared of it, but it does bring some coolness to their run.  Take care all.

Saturday evening

“There always comes, I think, a sort of peak in suffering at which either you win over your pain or your pain wins over you, according as to whether you can, or cannot, call up that extra ounce of endurance that helps you to break through the circle of yourself and do the hitherto impossible. That extra ounce carries you through 'le dernier quart d' heure.' Psychologists have a name for it, I believe. Christians call it the Grace of God.”~from Elizabeth Goudge's The Castle on the Hill 

 Hot as the dickens today, so put the a/c back in the bedroom window.  Much heavier putting it in than taking it out!  Something about bending over, versus just reaching over.  Well, it's done.  Blasting away now.  If we can stomach tomorrow, then Monday should be pleasant again.

Went to hippie store and got 2 ounces of Chasteberry, which is supposed to be excellent for peri-menopause.  Going to make a tincture on Monday. Also got some Black Currant loose tea, which I'm drinking now.  Also, planning on coloring my hair tonight when the bathroom is empty.  Vidal Sassoon has a new color (not sure I've ever used this brand), and it was on sale and it's called Deep Velvet Violet.  Trying to live a little.  My grey is freshly covered in dark brown, so this might just be a sweet freshener.  Change can be good.

With my Staycation mindset, I'm succeeding in slowing down my thoughts and actions.  Even my tendency on the blog here has switched from madness to a bit of contentment.  And what I can't change (a lengthy list, let me tell you), will have to be dealt with by the Lord.  I think that's the way it should be after all.

Take care.  Find time to rest, and let it go.  Seems to be good advice.

Friday night's thoughts

~our dear little chickens are just outside

Took the little air conditioner out of the bedroom window this afternoon, not too awfully heavy, and the relief of having the fan blowing fresh air is worth it.  Glorious.  I have this thing about continuous canned air.  Eventually makes me squirmy.  And I don't care if it gets warm outside, I'd prefer fans to air conditioning, unless it's blazing outside.  Give me curtains blowing.

So.  Here I am.  Piles of books on the bed, a cool breeze, and just taking some time.

Tomorrow's supposed to be hot again, but by Monday night or so, we'll have a bit of a chilly weather to fly past once more.  This has been a pretty decent summer.  Plenty of rain, not too many wretchedly hot days, and a break every-so-often of what they're calling that silly 'polar vortex.'  Whatever.  I just call it nice.

My mom's been saying lately she wanted me to buy something for myself.  I'm thinking I'll take her up on it tomorrow...maybe some lunch out, some makings for more tinctures.  Time to brew.  Might go to the hippie store for some different dried herbs.  I need the time to lose myself in mixing up some concoctions.  It's therapeutic.  A restful weekend of this, I'm thinking.  And for the altar will cut our own flowers.  Easy all around.

Talked to first born tonight about son-who's-engaged.  He calls him Knucklehead.  Yeah.  Pretty spot on.  That son won't listen to anyone, but I came to the brilliant realization (slow on the up-take) that we can't change him.  We can pray, and that's about all. And be here when he falls, and he will fall.  Gary's talked to his folks about it and they agree.  They had their own son who fell by the wayside once upon a time.  I married him after he came up for air.  I believe he's the better for the hard way he traveled before the Lord led him to me.  Praying that that may be so for our son.

Tonight is good.  Almost all my chickens under my roof, that is, all the ones who live here.  Just waiting on oldest daughter to come home from her dinner out with sweet Indian boyfriend.  Safe and sound, least will be soon.

A quiet Tuesday

Just checked the weather online and the site I go to says that rain will begin in 16 minutes. My goodness, no guesswork there.  I remember reading someone talk about how we look online or check the radio for things that are smack in front of our faces.  We don't have to be intuitive anymore since we depend on someone else to fill us in.  I see some truth in that.  I do like to plan ahead, though.  If I know the rain is coming, I won't do so much wash to hang out.  But still, I get it.

Trying to keep my focus low-key today.  Have spaghetti sauce bubbling away, will do schoolwork with kids this afternoon, keeping the house clean has gotten easier with the de-cluttering I've been engaged in, and trying to have an all-around easy afternoon.

Nothing new here.  Just juggling and keeping my b/p at a level place.

Hoping to pick some wild violets in the next day or so.  It's supposedly a very useful herb. Need to get some more brandy, and oldest daughter was going to ask her boss if I could have some of the vodka she keeps in her freezer at work (it was for a function she had and it's just sitting there).  Might be nice to try something new.  I did make a tincture out of elderberries and brandy and it's supposed to be as powerful as that Tami*flu folks take.  The younger girls caught a sinus/cold from the nursery at church, and oldest daughter and I were having the first signs of it as well.  Began taking several doses of the elderberry and it seemed to tamp down the illness, and in a couple of days we were all fine.  Maybe there is something to that elderberry, eh?

Well, that's it from me.  Just keeping it level.

Thoughts on Wednesday

Have been trying to find the time to make my tinctures this week, but haven't made it happen.  There's something almost hypnotic about getting out my brandy and vinegar, the herbs in little bags, my jars and then setting everything out on the kitchen counter.  All I lack is a magic wand.  It really is magical. Or maybe it's mesmerizing.  The scents of the mixtures and the total absorption of my attention.  Rarely do I do things that are so enthralling that I lose myself, but this is one of those things.

Must make time to do it.  Must.

I need something settling to focus my attention.

Our son's physical for the Guard is on Friday and he wants Gary and me to be there afterward for his swearing in.  The last step before it's all finalized.  He'll keep working for most of the time before his ship-out date of January 6th.  He'll go to Oklahoma. Thankful for the holidays to enjoy before that happens.

Gosh.  I'm such a pushover of a mother.  Can we love them any more than we already do?  Mercy.

Friday before dinner

Have really gotten weary of not having time to myself, especially in the house. With the kids' trips to my mom's for a weekly/bi-weekly visit being a thing of the past, I've had to re-examine my moods lately.  I get ruffled and snippy, and know that mostly it's for feeling too surrounded by humans and their noise.

I do love quiet.  And my own company. And not having to answer questions.  I really dislike being on guard for that.

Went to the health food store last night.  Got some Tea Tree oil on sale and one of those bottles of Dr. Bach's flower remedies.  Not sure if they work, but it was an indulgence I've been curious about.  I got Olive and the saying about it is:  "For those who have suffered much mentally or physically, and are so exhausted and weary that they have no more strength to make any effort.  Daily life is hard work for them, without pleasure."

Sounds sadder than I feel, but there is some truth to it.  Call me a sucker, but I've always been intrigued by the flower remedies, so we'll just take a chance with it.  And have a jug of distilled water sitting with quartz in it.  The minerals are supposed to infuse the water.  Take an herbology class and see what pops up in your radar. :)

Planning on a quiet weekend.  The weather is perfect, and the temperatures are in the 70s.  Windows are open and there's hope in the air.  Enjoy your weekend.

(painting fetched by pinterest)

Herbal stuff

assorted cups of tea for sore throats

So, last night my woodboy signed me up for a pretty extensive herbalist's class online.  Not something we could ordinarily afford, but those tax refunds do come in handy just at the right time.  I think I'm in shock.  This is something I've dreamed of doing for years and years, already treating our family with herbs, etc., but to now be learning in more of an official capacity will be thrilling.  He's even talking about making our former breakfast room into a sort of still room.  Says he'll put up racks for drying and talked about shelves for bottles and all.  My goodness, I think he's more excited that me, if that's possible.  I like this idea much better than putting a treadmill in that room. Much better. And last night he downloaded an herbal book onto his Kindle reader on his phone and proceeded to read it to me.  Not my idea of a bedtime story, but I'm not complaining.  That'd be foolish.

I think I'd be more wound up if I wasn't sick, though.  In between careful gulps of tea and coughing fits, I am looking forward to it.  Even before he set up the classes I'd ordered several packets of seeds online. Now the classes will just put feet to my gardening this spring and summer.

He said last night that there are two things I get worked up about---one being the herbs and the other being art history. Bless him for always making attempts at me being more of who I really am.  Sometimes takes awhile for us to even know ourselves notwithstanding those who live with us.  But to have a heart's desire met is amazing.  Truly amazing.