Tuesday's trivia

• baby chicks in cardboard box sound just like a bunch of sparrows
• not sure when they'll start the cluck-cluck talk
• tomorrow will look in attic for collapsible soft-sided baby bed
• would be perfect for putting chicks in for a bit of sunshine
• gary's brought home wood and roofing for a coop
• they were scraps from a porch he saw being torn down today
• a neighbor down the street has plowed up their yard/side yard for crops
• not sure what i think, but gary's really, really miffed about it
• he's hoping the guy's not planting corn
• i said that maybe he's going to make it a decorative garden
• i got the look
• makes me laugh, nonetheless
• gary says it'll definitely be rows and rows of corn
• will have to drive by it tomorrow to see for myself
• me, i just do herbs and such
• lots of flowers
• don't think i'll put in anything additional into the garden this year but herbs
• i seem to fail at tomatoes, etc.
• but that's okay
• enjoying making tictures
• decanted 3 bottles of valerian/scullcap tincture for sleep 
• gary needs all 3 bottles to help him relax
• at one time
• type 'a' personality
• he gets in bed and his brain goes to town
• i get in bed and am asleep about 10 minutes after i shut my current book
• makes him roll his eyes at me
• which i miss since i'm asleep
• must go now to dose him with the stuff
• take care

Real life

Well, as it happens....extended family dynamics are not in a happy place now.  Not sure how to heal it, but with lots of prayer.  Even so, some things just get sort of messed up and we in our sinful lives, can't salvage them.  Sometimes they don't get any better. Dang it.

And guess if someone has to be the black sheep, I'll step up to the plate, though not quite sure how that happened.  Put one non-believer who happens to be an extreme anti-Christian, liberal and all around angry, though he can be nice when he wants to be, oldest brother in a situation with other believers (one charismatic/name it-and claim it who is my mom and one emergent church post-modern preacher man who is other brother and me a new anglican) and it's a bit like the 'one bad apple' story, where the rotten fruit affects everything in its path.  It ain't pretty. Head banging nonsense.  Oh, and my oldest brother isn't at fault ever; must be my mom wanting to show compassion on her firstborn, dunno.  Do you sense some angst on my part?  Yeah, figured.

So, am in bed again, with the window open and much quiet time planned for this week.

And honestly, I share these things to be open that life is often ugly and it's okay to talk about it.  I have very few secrets, and it's not like I'm telling tales out of school.  This Internet blogging business is usually about puppies, sunshine and dust-free houses. What's up with that?  Crafts and getting-it-all-done, and having time to get all prettied up for the husband when he gets home. Children who behave, never act up and meals that cover the 4 food groups.  Please.  Life isn't that tidy.

I find that mine is too often dis-jointed and frustrating.  Vacuuming that gets neglected, mess that accumulates on kitchen surfaces as quick as a wink, and meals that empty the refrigerator more often than not.

I remember someone saying something in the recent past about how every so often friends aren't meant to be your friends forever.  There is sometimes a shelf life to relationships.  I agree with that, not that friends are things to be toyed with, but there are occasions when we meet, share and move apart.  Odd when that happens with families.  When blood relatives lose their interest in you or your opinions.  With my extended family, our shelf life is about past its due date. Accepting that, while painful, is almost a relief.  I feel I can move on a bit.  Push that situation behind me just for awhile and move on.  Focus on what's in front of me and not be so bogged down.  Get well.  Hear me?  Get WELL.

I wish the preceding paragraphs were just a fantasy that I've made up.  A story in my head that wants to get down on paper, but it's true life.  And it's sad.

Facing things...

~painting by carl holsoe

Resting in bed.  Necessary, and so nice.

Thinking about a certain situation we've been involved in.  Realizing I've not dealt with it and need to.  Funny how things lurk in the back of your mind until you process them thoroughly.  Stuff leaves a trail that has to be dealt with.  Odd how that happens.

And no matter how busy you are, it's still there sneaking up on you when you least expect it.  A person will call or an event will happen---just something to bring the annoying issue to mind.  For me it was a text message from a person out of the family who was part of something I'd rather put in the waste bucket.  Brother.  Can't we get past this?

Wish I was better at taking care of things when they happen, but life is so busy, and it's so easy to shove things aside.  And it's not avoidance so much as just busyness.  The brain is a curious organ.  It along with our hearts scream out to be listened to.  And that's something I really need to work on.

A rainy Saturday

"Sometimes life is too difficult to be lived.  So it's better to be sick for a bit." ~from 'Wise Child' by Monica Furlong

Mercy.  Here I am, taking a pretty extensive herbalist class, and I've felt ill more often than not this year of 2013.  Can't seem to shake stuff. But with taking this class, you'd figure I'd know what to toss down my throat.  Huh.  I will say, though, that I had an epiphany sort of moment last night, thinking of the struggle we had with one of the boys, last month.  I've got a chronic skin condition that attacks my hands (my wrists now) when I'm stressed.  That's a problem now, as is a sorethroatcoughcoughcough thing that's come to call. Again.  The throat's better, but I was up until about 4am with the cough last night/this morning. Again I say, mercy.

Finally got some relief with an herbal tea oldest daughter had bought, and I put some lemon/honey into a brown glass bottle with a dropper to shoot down my throat.  That was a yummy alternative.

Anyway, this week I need to focus on myself.  I've often found it interesting that health issues aren't timely.  It's not that we can ever be prepared to be sick. All the clothes washed and folded, all the kids behaving, the bills paid, the kitchen stocked with food, toilet paper in abundance, and the grass cut.  THEN and only then are we ready for something to smack us upside the head.  But that's not what happens.  We get sick mostly when things AREN'T going smoothly. When life begins to pinch a bit.  Because we've allowed ourselves to be beaten down.

Holding up my hand for that one.  I thought I had things under control, but each Monday morning when it's time to do schoolwork again, and the house is, once again, in after-weekend-mess-mode then I get all rankled.  The pattern continues.

As Gary says, "We've all got a wheelbarrow full of junk to carry around, but the thing is, we all have our own junk."  Too true.

The rat race we find ourselves on, however, can be changed (talking to myself).  It's so easy to feel overwhelmed when what outside our own realm gets wonky.  I need to deal with me right now.  I've got a responsibility to take care of my family, and when I'm sick, so much doesn't get done.  That's my focus this week.  Me.  And, you know. Nothing self-consuming about that, but just a good attitude about self-care.

Friday night

nora & madelyn, w/ anon. chicks on floor

Just trying to get caught up.  Failing miserably.  The house needs vacuuming very badly since the dust and fur from the dogs is EVERYwhere.  It's really shameful, but I cough at the least encouragement, so less busyness really is mandatory.

But chicken life is fun.  Gary and I had to pick up two of the kids from a dinner with their Sunday School class tonight, and when we got back, the remainder of the kids were blocked in the kitchen and playing with the chickens.  Gary says it's like watching a tiny circus.  Or an aquarium.  Or a fire in the fireplace. Just watching them is a kick.

We really have to watch the big dogs.  The pugs are curious about the chicks, but more interested in their feed.  We left the kitchen unattended day before yesterday for only about 2 minutes, really, 2 minutes.  In that time, Opal our shepherd/husky had pushed aside the dog gate, gotten to the cardboard box the chicks are in, left some awful chew marks on the side of the box and was in the process of trying to knock it over.  In two minutes?  Seriously?  Thankfully the water container in the box is heavy and weighted it down enough to prevent Opal from having a snack.

Second son says we'd better think of the chickens as goldfish rather than pets.  He might have the right idea.

Thursday morning

The roses were brought home from oldest daughter's job this week.  So pretty, and they smell wonderful.  As to life on the farm here (my goodness), chickens are really easy to add to the household.  My husband was on Craig's List after bringing home the chicks, looking at a guy's beehive set-up down in Mississippi that he was selling.  I think Gary's unaware of the small space we live in here.  Quite the one for animal husbandry, but has a blind spot in terms of square footage.  Kidding.  I will say, though, that he keeps us on our toes. For as long as I've known him, Gary, from time to time, has the deep need to stir the pot.  And we keep stirring it.  But that's just us.  At least the kids will have interesting memories to sift through when they're off and grown with their own houses.  Probably they'll all shun children and pets.  We've probably damaged them for life!

It'll be nice, though, when Gary's able to build the chicks' pen/chicken coop/outdoor hotel area.  He's got some things put back at the shop, and is researching best wire to use, etc., to keep out the raccoons, rats and all.  Too bad you have to think that way, but really, chickens are pretty dumb and innocent.  As of now, they stay in their box in the kitchen, and are in our room at night.  We've had to put an old window screen on their box when we're not playing with them.  Two of the chicks have flying aspirations.  And for the most part, the dogs leave them alone, but our shepherd thinks she wants to play with them, and since she's so huge, it's a task to get her past the box and outside without her getting all aggressive on us.

Oh, and thanks to MK for her link to Penelope Trunk the other day, and a curtsey to Trunk for her link suggestion.  I've gotten our three youngest (the only ones homeschooling now) interested in Khan Academy, with their free online classes.  Very, very good.  Gives me a much-needed break from sitting down with them, and it's a treat to leave the teaching responsibility to someone else for a change.

Must go now.  Oldest daughter has also brought home some Method spray cleaner for me (pink grapefruit), and a bottle of Mrs. Meyer's Radish scent dish soap.  My main weakness---fancy cleaners.  Who knew?  Oh, and in the photo, you can see my tiny Snow White.  Another favorite of mine.  I tend to change her dress every other day.  Small indulgences.

Have a sweet day.

Nora, Madelyn, Anastasia, Milk and Piglet

~the proud father

~daisy says she likes to eat chicken

~blurry 'cause they're always moving