Well, as it happens....extended family dynamics are not in a happy place now. Not sure how to heal it, but with lots of prayer. Even so, some things just get sort of messed up and we in our sinful lives, can't salvage them. Sometimes they don't get any better. Dang it.
And guess if someone has to be the black sheep, I'll step up to the plate, though not quite sure how that happened. Put one non-believer who happens to be an extreme anti-Christian, liberal and all around angry, though he can be nice when he wants to be, oldest brother in a situation with other believers (one charismatic/name it-and claim it who is my mom and one emergent church post-modern preacher man who is other brother and me a new anglican) and it's a bit like the 'one bad apple' story, where the rotten fruit affects everything in its path. It ain't pretty. Head banging nonsense. Oh, and my oldest brother isn't at fault ever; must be my mom wanting to show compassion on her firstborn, dunno. Do you sense some angst on my part? Yeah, figured.
So, am in bed again, with the window open and much quiet time planned for this week.
And honestly, I share these things to be open that life is often ugly and it's okay to talk about it. I have very few secrets, and it's not like I'm telling tales out of school. This Internet blogging business is usually about puppies, sunshine and dust-free houses. What's up with that? Crafts and getting-it-all-done, and having time to get all prettied up for the husband when he gets home. Children who behave, never act up and meals that cover the 4 food groups. Please. Life isn't that tidy.
I find that mine is too often dis-jointed and frustrating. Vacuuming that gets neglected, mess that accumulates on kitchen surfaces as quick as a wink, and meals that empty the refrigerator more often than not.
I remember someone saying something in the recent past about how every so often friends aren't meant to be your friends forever. There is sometimes a shelf life to relationships. I agree with that, not that friends are things to be toyed with, but there are occasions when we meet, share and move apart. Odd when that happens with families. When blood relatives lose their interest in you or your opinions. With my extended family, our shelf life is about past its due date. Accepting that, while painful, is almost a relief. I feel I can move on a bit. Push that situation behind me just for awhile and move on. Focus on what's in front of me and not be so bogged down. Get well. Hear me? Get WELL.
I wish the preceding paragraphs were just a fantasy that I've made up. A story in my head that wants to get down on paper, but it's true life. And it's sad.
