This and that

I think I need a holiday...maybe one of those 'staycations' folks have been talking about. Can't see as how that could work, though, being as I'm home all the time anyhow. But it's just that my head and heart have felt disjointed this Summer, and I'm not quite sure why. I feel all scrabbledy.

Must be I'm simply tired in a long-term fashion.

But last night was a breath of fresh air. Ten year old daughter made biscuits and I mixed up eggs for dinner, and as I was about to put the last ones in the skillet, my husband suggested that he and I go out and get a bite. I hesitated for a tiny minute and walked away from the stove to get ready. He said he'd finish up what I was in the middle of. In the midst of all of the rain, out we went.

Refreshment.

We went to R*fferty's, which is nearby and always a treat. They seated us in a booth near the bar, surrounded by 7 televisions...talk about over-stimulation! Anyway, the sounds were down, but the pictures were set to sports. Then we noticed that some of the news guys were on a couple of the televisions, showing destruction of a store at a mall, north of my husband's shop. Huh. I know the weather had been bad yesterday afternoon, but was unaware of how bad. Found a video of what happened here.

Was glad to get home after a quick grocery store run. And thankful that the bad weather missed our house...well, we got tons of rain, but that was all. Tornadoes here and there, but nothing right in town where we are.

Back to my first thought...have been digging into Kathleen Norris' Acedia & Me lately (see links at side of page I've linked to also), and have felt hugely blessed. More of that today. No pressures, but rest in my heart. That's probably the cure for my rattled spirits. Even reading a few pages of that book is healing. More, please. And I really recommend bought copies. Gary got mine for me last Fall, after I'd finished reading it from the library, and I've underlined most every sentence and have stuck it full of those little sticky notes. Definitely one of the best books I've ever read. No question.

Before and after---finished today

Pretties

Several years ago, I got interested in a website at called Brocante Home. Alison is still at it (thankfully) though has moved to a new online address. Through her site, I found another neat website called Home Sweet Home, a dropping off point for cozy sorts of home photos. Totally inspiring. Makes me want to go dust something. ;) At that photo site, found this picture. Wonderful, isn't it?

Alison herself is an encouragement all the time, and continues to go on about making our homes gorgeous and girlie. Can't get enough of that. Ask my husband about the pink paint cans.

The Wackiest, Wildest, Weirdest Animals in the World

Jack Hanna's newest book, The Wackiest, Wildest, Weirdest Animals in the World, is totally delightful. I was already familiar with Mr. Hanna from seeing him interviewed on television, and most folks are aware of how silly he can be, but I didn't know until recently that he wrote books. After receiving this one in the mail to review, I was amazed at how he mixed learning with quirkiness. We all gained something from it, and our kids continue to pick up the book, and talk about it---mostly about the strangest information. Children love disgusting fun-facts, you know. There are animals in the book that, I guarantee, you've never heard of, whether you wanted to or not! An added treat is a DVD of Jack Hanna bloopers. A treat all the way around.

(Published by Thomas Nelson, and available for preview on the same page. I'm a member of Thomas Nelson's blogger book review program and more information can be found here.)

Needing to accept some Grace

Not feeling in my happy spot, and as a fun diversion am looking forward to time out with one of our sons tomorrow. We'll do lunch and then go to a new Target that's not far from our home. Funny, but it's within a couple of miles from the Target we usually go to. Overkill, yes?!! The plan is to get Double-Chocolaty Chip Frappuccinos to gorge ourselves on while we shop. There are advantages to having a Starbucks in the Target store, don't you think?

Back to my mental health: I need to work on NOT over-thinking things. Seem to dig small holes around myself, jeopardizing my happiness, and taking life way too seriously. A hard habit to change, let me tell you. Need to peel the worries off of my brain, and besides, there's evidence that I'm tense with this irritating rash (eczema--and it's been a life-long problem) that raises its head on my hands when I get worked up. Can't even wear but my thinnest wedding band, and even that is driving me nuts. I have the strongest urge to use sandpaper between my fingers. The weird thing is that money hasn't been the main issue this Summer (well, except for a brief spell of slow-paying customers, you know). Usually, that's been my main issue. The world is recessing (my new word), but my husband's business has been steady. Seems I'm looking for trouble.

I can hear the Lord mildly scolding me in my head, asking me when I'll allow myself to actually have fun. That's His gift too, I do believe. Must've been absent when the permission slips were given out.

Let's eat!

Sometimes the Southern girl just needs to cook a dinner appropriate to her location. So, we're having Hoppin' John tonight. Along with it, we'll have cornbread baked in iron skillets, and some green onions from the store. Yankee husband isn't so excited, though. He gave me a *look* when I told him what we were having for dinner. He'll eat it, just won't be asking for seconds.

It's good for him to feel this way. Keeps him in line, you know?!!

The rice is simmering, the black-eyed peas were cooked earlier this afternoon and are ready, and the sausage (that Polish sort) is simmering in, yet another, iron skillet (I have 6 total) along with some Rotel tomatoes/bell pepper/banana pepper from the garden/onion/garlic and it all smells plain dishy.

Can't wait. Oh, for a good book that'll have you drooling, read Bailey White's Quite a Year for Plums. The first time I read it, I had to slip in a bookmark and whip up some cornbread, onions and sliced tomatoes---and that in the middle of the afternoon. I'm not kidding either. I really did that. Pure yum-ness.

Blessings no matter what

Have been a bit frustrated at the slowness of my husband's current clients to return messages. All they've got to do is respond. Man. But FINALLY today he heard from one designer he's working for, and another individual who has promised a deposit. I think folks are too busy. We're swamped with such trivialities and it seems to sap our time. Least that's what I think.

The thing is, we're not living on love here, and do have to buy groceries from time to time. I can be creative to a certain degree, but there comes a time when 8 kids just gotta eat. Got teary late yesterday, not wanting to ask one of the kids for a loan, but not seeing a way out. Told Gary that it was simple to feed one or two of them, but when it's multiples, it's darn hard. Our oldest son laughs when I tell the story of when he was the only child and he and I had homemade onion rings for lunch. That's all there was. The funny thing is that he hates onions to this day. Have to wonder if there's a connection. Anyway, I scratched my head last night and tried to make sense of half a loaf of bread and lots of partial bags of dried beans, knowing that that wouldn't do for breakfast. (insert laugh)

Then, on the way home from Bible study, just after this conversation, oldest daughter called and said they were making a stop at the grocery. What did we need? Toilet paper, bread, and some milk. That got us over the hump.

The heart-breaker, though, is what happened this morning. As I was climbing out of bed, I just prayed, "Help." Then went into the kitchen, filled the tea kettle, and saw the same daughter's checks that needed to be deposited into the bank. She'd set aside one for me to use for groceries for the weekend. God is so cool. And He did a wonderful thing when He blessed us with this incredibly generous girl. Not so sure I'd do the same thing if our places were switched. Shoot, I know I'd never have been so giving when I was her age. I had tunnel-vision big time. But, am so grateful that she's paying attention. All is well.

...........and Emily, you blew me away with your comment. Had never heard of the poem you mentioned, but read it and talk about shock. Thank you for the honor of your words. You made me blush.

To Emily

I'd never read 'Lucinda Matlock' but wanted you to know that you just blow me away. Totally. I fear my head will surely swell. :)

Was at my wit's end, but feeling okay about it

Told my husband that apparently I'm supposed to be so humbled as to feel like dust on the floor. (bad sentence structure, but you get my drift!) He responded by telling me to be dust. Just be dust. I cried. It's all so simple, but I muddy up the water I drift along in by making everything I get involved in so complicated. I have little joy most days. Let's just say, it's an effort.

Diane talked today about being tired, and how that makes the simplest tasks overwhelming. I so get that. This morning at about 2am, the neighbors across the street (not the porch-sitters, D.) thought it'd be a good idea to have a party. The only requirement seemed to be beer and lots of it, the ability to run up the street shouting curse words at the top of their lungs and to slam car doors like there was no tomorrow. All participants passed with flying colors.

I think I finally got to sleep at around 3:30am. Ugh. Me, the sleep-deprived one even on a quiet night is a bit wonky today.

Husband returned all of the trash and beer bottles and oddments to their own front yard. Our grass isn't a trashcan on the worst of days. Huh. Just looked out and they'd cleaned up most of it. Mind you, they're not too enthusiastic about doing a really good job of cleaning, but I appreciate their effort. I'll cut them a teensy bit of slack.

Going to release my tendency to *control* this weekend. Deep breaths, and lots of 'em. I've been praying to feel the Lord closer, and so far, so good. I'm humbled. I'm thinking that feeling like a nobody really is a good first step in absorbing that peace the Bible talks about. Less of me, more of Him, you know.

Here I sit, and after only 4 hours of sleep, feel surprisingly alert. It'll hit in about an hour---the needing to get back to bed feeling. Not sure how to change the spiral of wakefulness. I do realize, though, that when we start back to school in September, things will have to change. Must work on that!

As it is now, will appreciate the fact that I can indeed go back to bed later in the morning. There are folks out there who work with a sleep

More nifty woodworking

This is the headboard Gary is in the midst of making. Just lacks some carving where the circular parts are at the top, and to put on the stain/finish.

Brings to mind the Princess and the Pea, doesn't it?

Where my head is right this very minute...

Acedia is a word from ancient Greek describing a state of listlessness or torpor, of not caring or not being concerned with one's position or condition in the world. It can lead to a state of being unable to perform one's duties in life. Its spiritual overtones make it related to but distinct from depression.^[1] Acedia was originally noted as a problem among monks and other ascetics who maintained a solitary life.

The Oxford Concise Dictionary of the Christian Church ^[2] defines acedia as "a state of restlessness and inability either to work or to pray". Some see it as the precursor to sloth - one of the seven deadly sins.

--courtesy of Wikipedia

Late Tuesday afternoon

Busy day. Four of the kids went with me to help clean at the church, then we stopped at the grocery store for the bare minimum. Then, came home and I had to reach into my shoes for enough energy to clean the house here. Well, parts of it. The living room/dining room is dusted and tidy, and the kids worked on the other stuff. So glad I got finished with it early in the afternoon too, since I dropped right to sleep at nap-time. 'Course after getting only five hours of rest during the night, that made sense.

Now, if I could just gag the children so's they'd not ask questions of me when I wake up, the world would be a perfect place. One wanted to make a cake, one a bath, one to read me something, one to walk Opal, one to play a Lego computer game, and the other little piggy................well, you get my drift. ;)

Gonna enjoy the rest of the evening now. An easy dinner of canned spaghetti sauce on shell noodles, and salad. The sour cream cake one daughter is baking will redeem any lack of flavor in the dinner itself. It rained, so the world is soggy and cool. Perfect.

A mental tizzy

Struggling to get time online to do some stuff, but the kids and dogs seem to think I'm their personal entertainment director. I'll walk into a room, only to be surrounded by a variety of beasts/folks and then the questions begin. Don't even tell me how blessed I am; I do realize that. But get this...I'll never have the empty nest syndrome, so looking ahead to the time when my house will be echoing is a lost conversation. It won't happen. Consider that I'm fifty (when did that happen?) and our youngest is seven. Do you see anytime when there won't be kids in the house?

Not that I'm anxious for anyone to move out. Nothing could be further from the truth. But I do wrestle with finding time to do what *I* want to do, and balance that with fulfilling some needs around here. My husband even asked last night what I was intending on feeling guilty about today. Rotten man.

So, that's what's on my mind. On one hand I have laundry to do, plus I really want to slap some more pink paint on the old china cabinet in the kitchen, and on the other the little girls want to sew. Fitting it all in is the plan, but on the realistic side, it's always a challenge to work it out. Life with a heap of kids is wonderful, but at the same time difficult to the limit.

If I could put the kibosh on all of the questions, I'd be happier. Least that's what I think.

The Dwelling Place

I so enjoyed this book, maybe partly because it takes place in a house not far from where we live. We could drive there in half an hour or forty-five minutes, I'm thinking.

The author writes from her family home (which can be found online and is listed in the Historic Register), about things that happened in her adult life, but she wanders back to her growing-up years as well. And while she's described in her biographies online as uneducated, you'd never imagine that word being used to critique her writing. Apparently her father taught her at home (you call that uneducated?) and then she learned an incredible amount in her travels with her husband. So, her words just sparkle. Loved it.

Not sure if it's readily available in libraries (this was written in the forties, so some would have already weeded it out in favor of modern novels), but I nabbed this copy from a neighbor whose house I'm watching while she's out of town. This might be a garage sale find---don't know. Will have to return it to her bedside table before she gets back. ;)

My quiet Saturday

One Pug all slung out on the back of the sofa, looking out window which is OPEN! Totally dishy day. I'm just sitting here, thinking about what I don't need to be doing, while oldest daughter mixes up the potato salad for dinner. Just fussed at her, and reminded her that she doesn't need to be doing what I'd ordinarily be busy working on. Otherwise, she'll overdo, like her mother. :)

I just want to feel rested when the weekend is over and gone. One thing, I'm staying home from church tonight. Glad of the option to go on Saturday nights, and love that that frees up Sundays, but here lately, Saturday afternoons have been a bit overwhelming. It's the getting in of the groceries, so we don't have to mess with that later on, and getting clothes ready for church. Blah, blah, blah. Sometimes it's just a bit much.

Anyway, Gary had to take my Suburban to work, being that the battery in his truck is dead. I sort of like not having a vehicle to drive today. Makes me sit and not think of errands that could be run. But that change of plan might keep everyone else from going to church services, if he's back home too late. Truth is, we could all do with a quiet night at home.

Sounds like a plan.

End of the week

Enjoyed the new Potter movie with the kids last night. I'd not read the book, so was surprised at the ending, which is always a good thing. Snape is my favorite---super dishy voice. Have always enjoyed Alan Rickman in films.

Also having fun with a book blog a couple of friends have visited and recommended. This is exquisite torture for a book addict like me. My husband looks at the old ladderback chair I have sitting by my side of the bed, that's loaded down with library books, journals and my own stash and just shakes his head. The pile wavers and oftentimes part of it falls to the floor. Way too many books---well, for some people.

Attempting to get a good mood on. The thing about waking up at around 5:30am is that it's not my idea. Pugs. And honestly, while I love these little dogs, their habit of getting up with the sun is very wearing. Now, if I was a smart person (up for grabs), then I'd go to bed earlier. But as it is, I'm not very bright and tend to read WAY too late. (See second paragraph)

Going to try to avoid going to the store today. Well, I'm broke, so that's an issue, (okay, I lie...I have 4 dollars in my pocket) but still---I'm tired of *doing* stuff. Each day this week has had some leave-the-house-and-fetch-something air about it. Keep getting hijacked with errands.

Well, must go and stare out the window. Here it is, just past 6:30am and a neighbor across the street is cutting his grass. Forget the heavy dew on it, causing him troubles. I'm more concerned with the dirty looks he'll get from folks who'll wake up to his noise rather than their own alarm clocks. Isn't it way too early to cut the grass? I mean, really.

(photo taken and tweaked by me)

Home alone today

Things on the list:

• wash bedsheets and string them in the house---it's damp outside and they won't dry out there, plus will shrink too much if I put them in the dryer (got those t-shirt material sheets at Target)
  
• bought Potter tickets for four of the oldest of my offspring and myself---will go to showing after dinner (kids treated me to a ticket!)
• going to clean up the house a bit---it's gotten out-of-hand
• will pick up a Joanna Trollope book I've read before and will sit awhile after doing a bit of housework---this is the week of re-reads
• simmering navy bean soup on the stove---easy dinner

That's about it. With the rain we had overnight into this morning, the world is nicely soggy out there. Still a little cloudy, though the sun's trying to peek through. Just as soon it wouldn't, because then it'll be darned hot. But this weekend we're expecting highs only in the 80s and the lows sinking to almost 50s. Ain't that some fun!??!

Off to enjoy the quiet I make myself.

Cleaning house---sort of

The only one up. In just a minute, oldest daughter will get to stirring with my husband following soon after. The quiet is nice. Dogs snoring, clocks ticking, cars driving by every once in awhile. I like this time of day---sleeping children allowing for silence.

If I get my perspective in order early, then the day will seem to pan out nicely. Really, the only pressing thing to do is buy groceries for the birthday boy. Still scratching my head, wondering how he got to be so old, so fast. :)

I also want to get the house straight. Seems I was spinning my wheels yesterday. Must've been tired from the driving on Monday. Least that's the story I'm sticking to. So, as I was saying---with the bathroom renovation still not finished (waiting for the money to buy floor tile), and some painting needing to be tweaked in there, the house has been in flux. Walking on a plywood bathroom floor isn't very inspiring, especially when it has paint splattered on it. Just feels messy, but at least it's a short-term proposition.

Anyway.....I only mentioned that because if I can tidy up in there, I'll be more of a mind to clean up elsewhere. But with this pile of library books staring me in the face, the outlook for cleaning is grim. Just saying.

Being thankful

Got lots spinning in my head now. Well, as much as possible while I listen to the Backstreet Boys in my earphones. :) Feeling blessed more than anything. There's something that happened to my brain when my neighbor, Lisa, died a year and a half ago. I got to where I don't take things for granted anymore. So easy to do. To fall asleep next to my husband and realize that things could change in a heartbeat. I appreciate things more. I totally acknowledge that sometimes the instant I'm doing something that it might be the last time. Nursing my last child sort of brought that home too. One day was the last, but I didn't know it at the time. Makes you think.

This isn't to be morbid, but to enjoy what's happening right then. To not glaze over what's going on, but to absorb as much from a given situation as possible.

If I'm not careful, though, I can be really dark about this. To focus on the things that could change for the worse, overlooking the things that alter for a good reason.

But, being that I'm of a melancholy temperament, you can see where I tend to go with this. So, keeping that in mind, I'll look at a person in my family (generally my husband) with eyes that see more than what's on the surface. To go to more trouble to wonder what's going on in his own head. To not take him for granted, but to be more available. To be more patient, and overlook things that irritate me.

Maybe I'm growing up. Don't know. Just don't want regrets to haunt me, I guess. Or maybe it's just a good thing that I'm willing to pay attention. One thing. I remember growing up listening to one of my family members harp on another one for smoking. Gripe, gripe, gripe. There wasn't every any understanding for the habit and the struggle the other person dealt with in wanting to quit.

I don't want to be that way. I want to treasure the days. Guess that's all I'm driving at. Savoring what I've been given.

(photo from a source of joy)

An easy day

I just love to be at home. After spending yesterday driving almost to Nashville (just had to get to the other side of the Tennessee River) to pick up our daughter, and then back again, home just feels so good. Probably sad-sounding to have a hard time being gone only one day, but there it is---call me a hermit.

Today we're just lazing around. The washer has been on, I plan on washing bedsheets and hanging them out and dinner's easy with chicken sandwiches on yeast rolls. And tonight, I need to go out birthday shopping for our 3rd oldest child who turns 20 tomorrow. My goodness, the time's getting away from me. Another one is leaving their teens behind. Time's traveling past much quicker than I imagine.

Anyway, will putter and rest for the remainder of the afternoon. Book reading, vacuuming, tidying up---a recipe for delights, to my way of thinking.

Clearing out the cobwebs

Time to simplify. While I love flowers and pretty blog sites, sometimes I feel the need to put up something that's almost stark. Oldest daughter took this photo over the weekend when she visited Nashville. I just love the bareness of it. Very appealing.

Prayer please...

Popping in to ask for prayer for the wife of a sweet guy I graduated with in high school. His wife, whose name is Laurel Childs, has beat ovarian cancer before, only to have it return. She had surgery recently for a tumor in her small intestine, and came home the other day only to have to return to the hospital today. The pain has been pretty awful, from what I understand, and they've not been able to control it at home.

They've got 2 children in their twenties, and I can't imagine the pressure they're under. Such love I'm witnessing through the Internet, though. And while I've not met any of Steve's (the one I know) family in person, I've grown to love them anyway.

Thanks so much.

On Sunday

Sitting here chillin' in the living room. Daisy the Pug stretched out on my legs (which are propped up on the coffee table) and assorted children doing whatever they do to pass the time. Little girls playing dolls and youngest son playing Legos and reading Redwall books in-between. Other boys reading and chattering.

Looking forward to picking up oldest daughter tomorrow from her visit out-of-town. We've all missed her, but realize she needed time away. What's that saying...'a rest is as good as a change---or is it 'a change is as good as a rest'??? Either way, it makes sense!

Will take a bit of a drive later on (ALONE), to rest my brain. There are several cute houses within a few mile radius and I drive by, from time time, for inspiration. Then, when I get back home I tend to tidy up and rearrange a bit. Or I just feel thankful for what we have here, shabby and cozy that it is.

Pizza for dinner, and griller son wants to try it cooking it outside on the grill. That'll be interesting. Must be off now.

Enjoy your day! :)

Mom stuff

OK, I realize this might be an extreme reaction to some folks, but our oldest daughter is out-of-town through 'til Monday. We've never been separated for any length of time, ever before (well unless you count the time I was due to deliver youngest son---13 years ago---and husband sent me to a hotel for the weekend), and I miss her already. She's only been gone a few hours. Yeah, I'm a mom.

Tough when you consider your own child as a best friend. Hard to be apart. And while I want her to have a delightful time, I still miss seeing her face. Funny, when she'd not be at home now anyway, but would ordinarily be at work.

Love's funny that way.



(photo by me)

Pug therapy

It's not funny when Olive wants to go outside at 4:30am. But thankfully, she's well-trained enough to obey when I shoo her back to the living room. My goodness, the demands on my time are, just about, 24 hours a day. While I am glad that Olive is feeling better, the fact remains that I'd prefer to sleep solid for awhile. It's always something.

Today some of the kids will go visit my mom and oldest daughter wants to go to Pier One to shop. She's going visiting this weekend and wants to take a hostess gift. Fun. Haven't been in that store in ages---well, not since they changed their way of decorating. It was looking too manly for me there for awhile, but a flier we got recently showed more girlie types of things. Used to (and this is a long ago 'used to'), they had neat gauze dresses and skirts with those tiny mirrors sewn into them---Indian-ware (wear), but not anymore. A shame is what I call it. I could get the neatest earrings there too. Oh well. Things continue to change, but apparently I'm not going along with it. :)

Trying to focus on putting my worries at ease for today. There's really nothing pressing, but I tend to have a grab and go attitude towards fretting. Whatever I can latch onto, I will---tense shoulders and all. My ability to take on more bothersome thinking borders on the extreme. Again, deep breaths. I'm such a mess. Well, not really. I do know what my problem is---a mother of eight does have issues with balance. Least this one does. Must go hold a Pug. Those Buddhist monks were in their right minds when (history tells us) they chose Pugs as their favored pets. Sweetness in a wrinkled face.

Health stuff

One of my online friends talked about adrenal fatigue the other day (you know who you are!)....and the bell went off in my head. Got an email from a women's health site and there it was again....adrenal fatigue. Took a short quiz, looked at my own lifestyle and I think I'm onto something with this.

The thing is, nobody's going to look after me like I will. This is a definite need and something that needs to be addressed.

Truly, just coming to the decision to make some changes is a move in the right direction. I need to take care of myself, not only for my family, but for ME.

Deep breaths.

What I wasn't aware of was that I've lived in crisis mode as my normal lifestyle for ages and ages. Can't remember a time in the recent past when I've not felt overwhelmed and exhausted. I'm liking what I've read so far, and am looking forward to changing the pattern. This is a must-do.

Today's plan...

And the list includes:

• A trip to closest library to pick-up a book on hold called Glass, Paper, Beans by Leah Cohen. Mentioned in Elizabeth Berg's book The Year of Pleasures (that I finished reading, for the second or third time, yesterday).
• Grocery store since we ate everything this weekend. Feeling stuffed even now, and want to have salad for dinner everyday this week. And only salad. Thinking this won't go over well with family, especially males. Huh.
• Avoidance of news websites/papers/and the like this week. Have found that news fasts are encouraging and allow more room in my head for delights of the day. Otherwise, I fret.
• Will read more of T.L. Hines' book called Waking Lazarus, which is disturbing but enthralling at the same time.
• Greatly desirous (is that a word?) of having 'pretty' time here at home. For everyone to leave me alone long enough for me to putter around, decorating at will, cutting/arranging flowers, and all-around getting the house whipped into shape. Just want to be left alone to do that.

At nap-time yesterday, I read through most of a journal I wrote in 2007, probably one of the hardest years our family has gone through in awhile. That was the year when 3 of our neighbors died---one suddenly, one after a long bout with Alzheimer's, and the third was my sweet friend who had ALS. Also, we had shingles, chicken pox and a period of money woes to deal with . It was HARD. But what amazed me at reading over my words was my ability to keep on, keeping on. I liked the me I was reading about. Isn't that interesting?

Glad it's now and not then, but it is curious to read over things like that. Wish I was as faithful with my handwritten journals at present. I'm thinking I got all used up back then when it seemed to be a necessity of my sanity to take notes. Maybe life feels more steady.

Oh well. Must go and think on it. The house remains quiet but for the quiet snores of various dogs who are slung out on the floor and on the sofa beside me. Will drink in the silence while I still can.

Sunday afternoon

Woke up early this morning, more aptly called last night---being that it was 3:30am and dark, to rain hitting the air conditioner in our bedroom. Didn't sound like much was happening, so I got up to look out the living room window. Glorious rain falling down steadily.

Wish we'd get more, but the clouds are restful.

The house is in a bit of flux with the girls watching Princess Diaries and the boys here and there, doing stuff in their bedrooms. Husband is twitchy, already thinking of work tomorrow, I'm guessing. Sunday afternoons can be a bit dicey with the week ahead looming and responsibilities pressing on.

About to cook some sausage and either pancakes or waffles...might take a vote. Not much else happening. Will watch that Food Network show with the kids tonight---the one about the next Food Network star. We're hooked.

Hope this week is low-key. That'd be nice, not that my life is an emotional rollercoaster, but some boring old routines would be appealing.

Fourth of July Day

A lazy day, of sorts. Our 19 year old son has taken on the cooking out. He bought himself a new grill yesterday, and is perfecting the art of using one of those cylinders to start it...husband made one out of a can, and so far, so good. A pork roast is sizzling away (and will be transformed into BBQ later on), to be followed by chicken. Another son made mint chocolate chip ice cream yesterday afternoon---major yumness, and let's see----the rest of the preparations will be pretty mild. Works for me!

Oldest daughter and I are going out to lunch, then will come home to tidy up the place a bit and read books. Lazy. Good stuff, and necessary when we work so hard all week. And, my husband has taken today off from work, so hurray all around.

Enjoy your Fourth....may the freedom and reason to celebrate it continue.

Fourth of July Eve

This morning I told one of the kids that I felt like I'd been left at the starting gate, just waiting for someone to shoot the gun. That's my cue to get going. I hate that. Don't like feeling at their beck and call, and besides, not sure that it's supposed to be that way. There appears to be a magnet attached to my backside, and the least of my children each have one hooked onto their fronts. Honestly, I'm not that interesting. They don't really need me ALL the time....do they?!?? ;) But, for them, life is so exciting and they want someone to share in it. That someone is me. I should adjust my attitude, shouldn't I? Before long, they'll not be so drawn to their mom. Huh. Hadn't thought of that since there's always been at least a couple of 'em who follow me around like little puppies. Whoosh, it'll be gone. Well, anyway. I'm working on it. Maybe I'll have it figured out after 26 more years of marriage, do you think?

I lie in wait for interruptions. The other morning, after getting up WAY too early, I went back to bed at about 8:30am (otherwise I'd have been pretty wretched company). Woke back up at around 10am and the house was so quiet. The dogs were outside, and the girls were playing in their room. Was able to make my tea and sit all by my lonesome for about 20 minutes or so.

I savor silence. Maybe I love it all the more because it's such a rare occurrence.

Still, I realized I'm hugely blessed---a wonderful and loving husband (gosh, I could just eat him up), sweet kids, a safe place to live and work for my husband to provide for us. I don't take a lick of it for granted, because in a heartbeat, literally, it can change. I thank God for all of it. Just sometimes wish it was quieter. :)

(photo by me)

Mid-week stuff

A day off for me. The majority of kids will be at my mom's for lunch and the interim thereafter, and I'll come back home and read, and read, and read. The house is tidy, the wash sort of caught up and dinner's easy with tuna fish sandwiches and salad.

Speaking of which---picked, quite by accident, the first of our onions---a Texas sweet and was it wonderful. VERY sweet, and crisp, which is a trait I've not experienced in an onion my entire life---that is, the crisp part. I picked it when I was yanking out a hunk of crabgrass from the vegetable bed, and the onion came with it. Small-ish for an onion---think the size of a big toe!, but a treat anyway. We had it with dinner, sliced up thin on black beans and rice. Had a handful of banana peppers we've grown too. Still waiting on tomatoes. Had the first of those on Sunday---it had a bad place on the bottom, but I cut that away and we each had a small piece, warm from the sun. Nothing like a homegrown tomato, even it's only a tiny bite!

Daisy my Pug is sitting on my feet now. She's the most faithful thing. My dog, no question. When I leave the room for parts of the house the Pugs aren't allowed in, she waits at the baby gate for me to return. Or if I'm in the bathroom, she'll patiently wait outside the door, just staring at the bottom of it until I open it. Such a sweetheart. Sometimes there comes a dog into a person's life and they latch onto one another. So it is with Daisy and me. My punkin'.

Me blethering on...

Woke up sort of suddenly at 6:15am with the Pugs and Olive jumping around at our bedroom doorway (it's 4 steps down, so thankfully, they showed some restraint and only Daisy the Pug rolled down them). Man. You'd have thought they'd been shot out of a cannon to see them race out the back door. And, you'd have never in a million thought that Olive had been so sick-acting just weeks ago. Don't know what's up with that girl. Must be one of her good days, eh?

Have to go to the grocery store this morning....but thankfully, just for minor things. Mainly for dog food for the big dogs and a cucumber or two. The girls have set aside today as TeaPartyDay. Must make cucumber sandwiches, you know. But more seriously must have tea to stoke me up before getting it in gear.

Praying for a day that feels blessed all around. Husband has this huge, and I mean huge plank of wood to make into a headboard....he's making attempts at drawing out the design this week, so he's on my mind. I scratch my head when I'll see the piles of wood in his shop, then blink, and voila....a masterpiece! Takes it out of him, though, that's for sure. Makes my head hurt!

As for me, I'll just putter around. Got the fridge partially cleaned yesterday....including under and behind it. Yuck. You'd have thought we had carpet under it. Four dogs. They make some mess! On the plus side, however, was this cleaner I picked up at Family Doll@r yesterday called Mean Green. For 3 bucks I got a two-pack of window cleaner and an orange cleaner. The orange stuff works like magic. I kept spraying, wiping up and staring at the bottle, amazed at how well it worked. (my version of an infomercial, I guess) Anyway, the goal was to help the fridge get colder. As it is, I've been freezing half-gallons, because in the heat, it's spoils so quickly. We'll see how effective our cleaning made things. But, with the refrigerator being 19 years old, I can't complain too much.

Take care. Must hush now.