Got lots spinning in my head now. Well, as much as possible while I listen to the Backstreet Boys in my earphones. :) Feeling blessed more than anything. There's something that happened to my brain when my neighbor, Lisa, died a year and a half ago. I got to where I don't take things for granted anymore. So easy to do. To fall asleep next to my husband and realize that things could change in a heartbeat. I appreciate things more. I totally acknowledge that sometimes the instant I'm doing something that it might be the last time. Nursing my last child sort of brought that home too. One day was the last, but I didn't know it at the time. Makes you think.This isn't to be morbid, but to enjoy what's happening right then. To not glaze over what's going on, but to absorb as much from a given situation as possible.
If I'm not careful, though, I can be really dark about this. To focus on the things that could change for the worse, overlooking the things that alter for a good reason.
But, being that I'm of a melancholy temperament, you can see where I tend to go with this. So, keeping that in mind, I'll look at a person in my family (generally my husband) with eyes that see more than what's on the surface. To go to more trouble to wonder what's going on in his own head. To not take him for granted, but to be more available. To be more patient, and overlook things that irritate me.
Maybe I'm growing up. Don't know. Just don't want regrets to haunt me, I guess. Or maybe it's just a good thing that I'm willing to pay attention. One thing. I remember growing up listening to one of my family members harp on another one for smoking. Gripe, gripe, gripe. There wasn't every any understanding for the habit and the struggle the other person dealt with in wanting to quit.
I don't want to be that way. I want to treasure the days. Guess that's all I'm driving at. Savoring what I've been given.
(photo from a source of joy)
