My brain's in a bit of a tizzy. The thing is (and I talked to my husband about this after dinner), I miss my oldest daughter. She's so caught up with this boyfriend of hers (still courting), and she's not the same person, though I'd not expect her to be. His name comes up in every conversation. Every one. Fortunately I like him (!), or it'd be doubly hard. She's over the moon (and I probably was too over my husband---well, still am) and that's all well and good, but still, I miss the way things used to be. I knew how to be with that.
Guess I'm growing up too.
And I really don't want to be the center of her attention all of the time. That's not right and isn't the way it should be. But things with this young man have flown so quickly, and it's caught me off-guard. Me, the person who's so cautious and wary about making decisions. The one who's not impulsive at all. I'm having struggles.
And, as an added feature---the little girls (eleven and seven) are more clingy to me since their older sister is focused on this new relationship to her beau. The least one has chosen me as her new best friend. Huh, I don't even see it. The Lord has filled in the spot with my youngest, but really, no one person can fill in for another one, you know?
It's hard, especially since we all still live together. What one goes through, the rest tend to live in the wake. Makes me edgy and I'm needing to put my feelings somewhere. Grateful for a husband who'll let me cry and talk. Things are good, but just different. I just need some time, I'm thinking.
Guess I'm growing up too.
And I really don't want to be the center of her attention all of the time. That's not right and isn't the way it should be. But things with this young man have flown so quickly, and it's caught me off-guard. Me, the person who's so cautious and wary about making decisions. The one who's not impulsive at all. I'm having struggles.
And, as an added feature---the little girls (eleven and seven) are more clingy to me since their older sister is focused on this new relationship to her beau. The least one has chosen me as her new best friend. Huh, I don't even see it. The Lord has filled in the spot with my youngest, but really, no one person can fill in for another one, you know?
It's hard, especially since we all still live together. What one goes through, the rest tend to live in the wake. Makes me edgy and I'm needing to put my feelings somewhere. Grateful for a husband who'll let me cry and talk. Things are good, but just different. I just need some time, I'm thinking.
