"Is that it? When it gets dark, it's only because God has tucked me in a cleft of the rock and covered me, protected, with his Hand?...It is in the dark that God is passing by. The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite: God is passing by. God is in the tremors. Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will. Though it is black and we can't see and our world seems to be free-fallng and we feel utterly alone, Christ is most present to us.....Then He will remove His hand. Then we will look back. Then we look back and see His back."~from One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
Out of the whole book, this quote stands out most strongly to me. I've always felt that when my life feels dark and dismal, that God had turned His face from me. So, to read this is amazing. A total about face in what I've always thought. There's a huge difference in feeling abandoned and feeling embraced. They're miles apart. While my life isn't swamped with total darkness now, there are situations at play that are doubt-triggers. My faith shakes. If the Lord asked me to get out of the boat and walk on water with him, I'd sink. Some days are like that. Issues are present, answers to prayer are needed (with a focus that's time-related----I need it NOW) and my faith is weak. I apologize to Him. I remember how long we've walked together and I'm sorry of my lousy personal track record. And then....then I read the Psalm selection for today, really any Psalm and see how David was in despair constantly. But at the same time he was full of praise. So my prayers turn away from requests and on to praise and recognition of His Holiness.
Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of hosts.
Heaven and earth are full of your glory.
Hosanna in the highest.
Blessed is He that cometh in the name of the Lord.
Hosanna in the highest.~the Sanctus
