Got Mom taken care of today. Groceries and supplies. She was a bit depressed, linked I think with her Christmas plans which fell through, but we were unaware of that until the day after. A mess. Communication skills lacking in everyone, including me.
When we returned home today, I had to decompress. I always feel so darn guilty. Gary keeps telling me things aren't my fault, but it's hard for me to accept. I was brought up to be the scapegoat. Isn't that still my role? Upset at Mom's long-term situation, which (as they say) 'is what it is.' Our youngest son hates that quote.
Deep breaths.
Spring cleaning tomorrow. Roach bait bought. I know, eeeewwww. Cabinets to tidy up. Pots and pans to sort. Walls to wash and freshen up. Overall kitchen cleaning. Sounds inviting.
But I don't want to be overly consumed with housework though from the look of the place, I should be! But still, I need to rest. We all need a time to relax and take care of ourselves. I read something on an herbal site the other day---talking about drinking Chamomile for relaxation, and how the present-day pace has interfered with our ability to say no and just take it easy. We're not able to slow down because we're so driven to do the next thing. It takes a concerted effort to actually stop.
I don't want our children, especially our girls to see me doing that. So, rest it is. With tea. Always tea.
