I was all twisted up this morning, thinking of all that needed doing for my mom. Makes me crazy. Woke up, bam. First thing on my mind. Had my quiet-time anyway, which is so necessary to my sanity, prayed about my situation, then got to it. First called my mom to find out what else she needed, then went to the store for her. Came home, made the spaghetti she wanted for my brothers' dinner with her on Wednesday, and then did schoolwork with the kids. Then left again with the girls to clean Mom's house, and take her groceries.
My bad attitude reared its head this morning when I realized I was making their dinner which I wouldn't be sharing. Historically for me this has been a sore point. My brother comes into town, my other brother goes over to Mom's as well, and the three of them share a meal. Okay, so Gary says, "But you don't want to eat with them." True story, but the fact remains I feel left out. I'm never invited to be part of their gathering. Yeah, immature. Sue me.
So I have to get over my sour mood, make them food, clean house for my emotionally-detached brother's visit, and move on. I can't hold onto the anger. I've got no room for it, you know?
~ ~ ~
But I was so pleased at how her house shone after the little girls and I left. It smelled good, there was food in the house, and she had her bath. I was satisfied.
We got back home after dark, and Gary met us outside. He hugged me, and said he realized it was tough for me to be the one Mom always depended on, and he said the sweetest thing. Funny, but sweet. He said that while I sometimes had a bad attitude, I still did what needed doing for her. I suck it up and do it. True story. There's nobody else who will. I needed to hear that.
He allowed for me that it's hard, and that meant a lot. I don't always have to be happy about what needs doing, but doing it is the main thing.
Now, with my brother coming in town tomorrow, I'm off duty until the end of the week. He leaves on Thursday. A mental break for me, and she'll enjoy the company. We all win.
