Daisy the sweater girl

Wednesday night's thoughts

• Kids at my mom's or at their jobs this afternoon.  
• Time alone---even brief is a blessing. 
• Relief at a major overdue bill getting mailed today.  
• Thinking on Thanksgiving.  
• Went to the Intercessory Prayer meeting at church today.  Seven of us.  Lots of older folks dressed warmly causing the room to smell comfortingly of mothballs.  Woolen coats.  
• Two Thanksgiving Eve services will be held next Wednesday.  The noon one will be minus incense, but the 6pm one will be, as our priest laughingly put in the Sunday bulletin---smokey.  The church seems to be split about using it, but thankfully our priest is open to both views, and won't simply stop using the incense for the few who object.  He's covering all the bases.  Must be hard.  And glad he's cool that way, though also very old-fashioned, or maybe he's just being liturgical.
• Oldest daughter bought the pugs sweaters to wear.
• They're pink for Violet and black for Daisy.
• Daughter said she got the black because it's very slimming.
• Daisy is a bit fluffy, or chubby.  Depends on how you look at it.
• Taking fourth son to the dental school tomorrow---at 8am.  Way too early.
• Thankful to have something to read so as to entertain myself.
• But mostly thankful to get that bill paid.  Makes everything better.

Autumn lovely from Pinterest

Mental house-cleaning

The Anglicans are into repetition.  Our priest tells the story of one person he knew who was dying, and verging on incoherent, but who could repeat the prayers along with him. There's something to that, stirred up with a dose of comfort.  The Psalms are good in that way as well---words that come to you when life pinches overmuch.

I was praying the Lord's Prayer this morning, trying to ward off my mood of yesterday.  The part about trespasses jumped out at me---reminding me of my need to forgive this man at church who irritates me so much.  Thud.  The anger fell off of my shoulders, and honestly, I felt tremendously light-hearted afterward.  And while the situation might not change, my way of dealing with it (hopefully) will.

And thinking on things I need to pare down.  Habits that weave their fingers into my days to the extent that I waste way too much time.  Internet.  Reading to the point of excess.  Worrying.  You get my point.  I believe that the Lord would have me with a much cleaner slate.  He sometimes only gets the barest corner of my slate.  And even then, I seem to be able to spend hours reading, but not so much time praying.  Not uncommon with Christians, but sad, nonetheless.

Deep breaths.  No big changes, but small ones that should relieve some of the weight in my heart.

One of our boys sent me this text message earlier, "Relaxxx we aint in control in the first place."

Amen. (said Southern-style with a long 'a')

The rain matches my mood

Today has been a bit off kilter.  Began it alone with quiet time in church while Sunday School was in session, and while the organist was practicing.  A welcome lull in my morning.  Was happy to have oldest daughter come to the service, and my husband.  He's still uncomfortable---or at least it seems so.  He tries to sound more enthusiastic than I think he's really feeling.  He can't get into the swing of the upping and downing of the service.  Says he wants more time to think on things, but really, an Anglican church service really is busy, or at least that's my experience.  Worshipful, but busy.  There is absolutely no time to nod off, not that I've ever seen Gary do that.  I'm grateful for his effort, though.

And frustrated at the older gentleman who seems to chat up the ladies and work the room a bit too heartily.  This was at the chili luncheon we had today.  And it's not that he's lonely, but sort of fresh.  It's uncomfortable, and he generally sits right behind me in church.  (And keep in mind, since we use kneelers and if the person behind you kneels more than you do, then they're sort of in your hair...note to self:  change my pew.) He finds things to say, and I've really never even had a real conversation with him.  Just brief small talk....too friendly.  His wife wasn't there today, and nuts to that.  It appears that when she's there, she keeps him on a short leash.  He's much more subdued when she's about.  What is it with some people?  Puts a shadow on my church experience to have to deal with him.

Honestly, since I've found this church to be such a blessing, I'm put out at having to deal with this nonsense.  And nothing's going on that anyone can do anything about, but it's aggravating.  Gary says the guy's harmless, and I agree, but it's annoying.  I want to be left alone.

Forgive this rant.  Probably too personal to post online, but I just don't care.

Thomas Howard

The newest book I've gotten in the mail is The Night is Far Spent, which is a compilation of Thomas Howard's work.  Beautifully written.  I've only read a bit, but it's the sort of book you read a little of, underline with pencil (which is more forgiving than a pen), walk away from---then immediately pick it up again for another taste.  He has a couple of quotes that are ringing in my ears.

"But do know one thing:  the Romantic Ideal will send you to hell eventually. Luxuriating in fornication and sodomy will too.  The modern world (partly fed by The Atlantic Monthly) pursues materials in this connection with the most sober assiduity.  Do we (Christians) demure somewhere in here?  How countercultural are we?

Before it is too late, should we, and if so, how are we to develop a "taste" for the annals of sanctity?  And will there come, at last, an actual preference for these over the topics filling the columns, again, not only of the cheap magazines in the airport racks, but also of the highbrow journals?  (It is not all, of course, scandal; but totally godless respectability---Virginia Woolf, say---holds the field, surely, over the narratives of souls struggling toward God.)"

And, by the way, Mr. Howard is a brother to Elizabeth Elliott.  I'd made that connection 'way back when' but not sure in what context.  It rang a bell to me.  Must have been in one of my rabbit trails of book-hunting on Amazon.  One book leads to another, you know.  Am off now hopefully to reserve several books from the library, one being his Evangelical Isn't Enough (as you mentioned, Sara...thank you), and Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited and T.S.Eliot's The Four Quartets---the latter ones being volumes that Howard speaks highly of.

He's got an interesting history.  Raised Evangelical, moved on to the Anglican/Episcopal church, and has been Catholic for the past 20 years.  Would like to pick his brain.  My goodness...he's covered some territory.

A restful weekend

Saturday has turned out to be my favorite day of the week.  Things have winded down, nobody can get me (not meaning to sound mysterious with that comment), usually the groceries for the weekend have been bought, and there tend to be few---if any errands to run.

Used to, I dreaded Saturdays.  That was after we'd been going to the mega-Presbyterian church for a few years, and then I added the Anglican service on Sunday morning.  That was exhausting.  Too many people to please, and making sure I took care of my church needs as well.  Way overmuch running around.

Now it's much better.  The four youngest children seem to really enjoy St. James (which is such a joy for me to witness), and the weekends have taken on more of a relaxing mood.

For this weekend, I figure I'm hitting on a positive 98% in a measurement of how I feel.  That 2% would be covered if we were flush with money.  But as Gary said to me last night---having financial frustrations are minimal considering we have a strong marriage, good kids, no illness and most other things are fine.  He emphasized that a steady relationship between the two of us is key, and he's right.  Can't ever take that for granted.

Now spaghetti's simmering, and I just got out the yeast for making bread for dinner.  We'll have salad with that and Gary's favorite German chocolate cake for his birthday dinner.  Middle daughter will bake shortbread to take as a dessert for tomorrow's church lunch, and I'll make jalapeno cornbread to take.  Easy and yummy.  A glorious day, all around.