Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.--Galatians 6:9-10
Okay, I admit it. I'm weary of doing good. Our youngest son has a fondness for asking why we're the ones the neighbors always turn to. He gets a tiny bit rankled at the 'across the street' boys coming over almost weekly to borrow our bicycle pump, the odd plastic garbage bag, the rake----whatever. They're the sort of folks who will ask to rake your yard and then follow up with wanting to borrow your rake and use your bags. Just manpower, I guess, but a bit strange, nonetheless. Most folks come prepared, but not these boys. Fortunately I have my own work crew and don't have to depend on them.
Anyway, back to my rant. I guess what finally set me off was one of our elderly neighbors being asked by fourth son if he needed anything at the grocery store when I went yesterday afternoon. He finally got hold of us after we'd gotten home, asking for eggs. I had four in the fridge, so had to wait until today to get a dozen for him at the drugstore. Maybe it's the timing that set me off. It wasn't a bit deal, but put me into a mood of feeling taken advantage of.
I even get cranked up at doing things for my mom, even though I know it's absolutely necessary, especially with my two older brothers living out of town. I was asked by someone why I often got upset at doing her grocery shopping every week. I answered that it was just so repetitive, and with our busy schedule, it adds one more thing. It's the 'one more thing' issue that's hard. And frankly, getting her full supply of things along with ours is a major undertaking. If I sound like a whiner, so be it, but it IS hard. And, (here's a real annoyance) her neighbors do nothing for her except roll her garbage can back and forth to the house. Errands? No. The odd grocery item? No. Are they young enough to be a help to my mom? Darn tootin'. Do they offer to help with her yard? You've got to be kidding. Who are all of these tasks left up to? Guess.
Then there's the guilt that goes along with my attitude. Christians have this unfailing need to appear perfect and cheery to the outside world. Always giving and even welcoming the opportunity to serve. Do you need a house to hold the pot-luck in? Can I make a dinner for a shut-in? An offering for a special cause? Can my child babysit for free when you have a need to get out? And the classic---call me if you need anything.
See? I'm in a stinker of a mood. My most relaxed moment in the last week was after we left Daisy with the vet. and I was able to let someone else fret over her. I'd been worrying over her for months, and with her getting help, I was able to chill. That felt good, real good.
I guess it's important to use the barometer of not overdoing even if it's good works. Moderation in all things could spill over into that mindset as well. And maybe partly I see all that needs doing around here, with limited abilities to accomplish them. The body can only do so much, and when I'm out running other folks' errands, my own get left undone.
Not looking for advice, but needing to express in words what rattles around in my head. That's all. Not needing anyone to fix what I'm thinking on, but just to listen, I guess.
