Too much going on, no time to process, and a major melt-down over the weekend. I likened some of my stress (in a much-needed therapy session with my husband) to the grieving over the deaths of two close friends in recent years. Deep-seated, painful grief, but where a death is one event that you work through after the loved one is gone, dealing with a hard situation with your kids is on-going. You pray, let go, and trust the Lord to keep them in His hands. Smack in the middle of them. Thankfully my husband is more resilient than I am, and with his life experiences, is more realistic. He can look sin in the face and not flinch, whereas I buckle under.
For me as a mom, I struggle with becoming overly invested in my loved ones' lives, whether it's the kids or my mom. I worry over them, and then sit in a stupor feeling overcome. For my husband I don't fret so much. Does blood kin figure differently?
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Raining now. A storm blew through about an hour ago, and it's delightfully cool. Supposed to be in the sixties as a high tomorrow. Very fall-ish. Time to let the cooler days seep into my spirit and for me to appreciate them.
Bills caught up here, or will be this week. Mom's bills paid as well, and her details organized, at least for now. By this time tomorrow will have groceries in the house (hers too), and I'll have no material excuse to be rattled. My mental state is another matter, but we're working on it. It's a process, isn't it?
