"You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply because they are HEAVY."~unknown
I read the above quote on Pinterest the other day, and it fit perfectly with what's been going on in my head, namely too much noise. For that reason, I've shut down my Facebook account for a bit (pretty cool they offer the ability to switch it off for a certain period of time and will turn it back on automatically). Not that I'm addicted like some, but they do provide more information than I need now. I've stayed on Facebook to keep an eye on my kids, but even then I sometimes read things I'd rather not know. Our kids are not mini-me's. Well, maybe the girls, to some extent.
And the Internet is way too noisy. I have a talent (not always a good thing) for being able to find out lots of stuff. They call me the research babe around here. Want to know something? Just ask me. I'll find it. And sadly, I've recently found out things about the folks our kids are with. I can't bear the burden of those facts anymore. It's devastating to me.
Since we all (bar my husband) caught the cold virus that's been spinning in our house, he laid down the law on Friday and said we'd not be going to church today. As a result, I had to ask our priest's wife to do the flowers and another friend to set up the altar elements since it was my week. Tell the children's SS teacher I'd not be there, and one daughter had to ask someone to acolyte for her, and one son told our priest he couldn't be an usher. See, we're busy---good busy. But it was time to stop.
And today we slept the clock around. I got up finally at 1pm. When did that last happen? Can't remember. I tend to not get enough sleep, so this was a huge blessing. Life doesn't feel so tragic when you're rested. But when we were sitting outside with the chickens and pugs this afternoon, all quiet and peaceable, I decided to "live my great big beautiful life." To take care of me. With God's help. Turning a page.
Whatever our kids get into---well, I can pray about it, but I can't manage or control it. I'm not meant to take on that job. But I sure can pray, and nobody can stop me from that. There's lots of power with prayer, my goodness. The angels fly.
And I can't let the nonsense our kids get into ruin my own life. I'm their mother, but my mothering involvement does alter once they move away. I'll always be here for them, but they tend to need me less, and that's the idea of letting them go, right?
When they make poor or dangerous choices, I'll pray. When they disappoint me, as I will them, I'll turn it over. Allow them to fail, as the Lord allows the same for me. Do we pray for our kids more when they stray? I think that's so. Maybe not fair to those to toe the line, but probably likely.
Thank God for second (and third, fourth....) chances.
