Woke up around 6:30am to take care of chickens and made my tea to have outside with them. The city was just waking up, and traffic on our street hadn't taken hold yet. Birds. The last sounds of the crickets. Heavy dew on the grass.
Slowly the earth woke up. Trafficky sounds. Blue Jays squawking. Lots of Sparrows, who come in droves to eat chicken feed.
It's a bit chilly today. I wore my nightclothes out back and in a few minutes, after eating some bugs and such, Nora hopped up into my lap. Snuggled down into my robe. Milk followed a bit later. Love watching their eyelids as they blink---backwards, with the main eyelid going up from the bottom, opposite of humans. Their pupils dilate as they watch me watch them.
* * *
Wanting to take more charge this week. Seems sometimes my life runs on its own speed, and I have little ability to manage it. It manages me. I've said this before, but it appears I tend to react to what's been placed in front of me, rather than initiating change. I adapt probably way too well. Have had to, first with so many children being born one after another, and also with our financial situation. Figured I could either buck the situation or go with it. Sort of weary of the flow, if you get what I mean. Ready to change the river's route, so to speak.
You know, life has to be about making it work regardless of the messes. I find that hard. I want to have a re-do and clean up ahead of time the trials our children have forced on us. To be warned beforehand that those delightful photos of the family when everyone was young and unlined were real, but now is real as well. Not my favorite real, but nonetheless, it's my deck of cards.
Still, when I look at a blog of a mother holding fresh, young children I feel a catch in my throat. I might always have that catch. I want to tell that mom to hold onto that precious time with their young ones. Relish it. Breathe in the scent of that sweet neck. Danger ahead. You think it's hard waking up to a baby with a frighteningly high temperature---wait until they discover the world is bigger than you've shared. They might like that big, dangerous world. Well, we might never see the results of our hard prayers, but then again, it might happen. Keep plugging along. Be thankful for my tribe here. For seeing Christ's work in my children at home. See His work in their faces and their words. I guess it's all a process.
You know, life has to be about making it work regardless of the messes. I find that hard. I want to have a re-do and clean up ahead of time the trials our children have forced on us. To be warned beforehand that those delightful photos of the family when everyone was young and unlined were real, but now is real as well. Not my favorite real, but nonetheless, it's my deck of cards.
Still, when I look at a blog of a mother holding fresh, young children I feel a catch in my throat. I might always have that catch. I want to tell that mom to hold onto that precious time with their young ones. Relish it. Breathe in the scent of that sweet neck. Danger ahead. You think it's hard waking up to a baby with a frighteningly high temperature---wait until they discover the world is bigger than you've shared. They might like that big, dangerous world. Well, we might never see the results of our hard prayers, but then again, it might happen. Keep plugging along. Be thankful for my tribe here. For seeing Christ's work in my children at home. See His work in their faces and their words. I guess it's all a process.
But I only have to deal with today. This moment is blessed. Enjoy yours.
