Seems since the wedding earlier in the month, our house has been crying to itself. Dust me. Sweep my floors. Vacuum up the dog hair. Re-arrange the furniture. Please.
Okay, I hear you. Tomorrow's the day. Would've been today but after schoolwork was finished, we went to the store to get dinner for tonight and tomorrow night. Tired. I get so weary, so fast, and it doesn't pay to do too much.
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Had planned on getting Mom's groceries today, as is our routine, but she called me this morning and said her money was low (over $500.00 in the bank but it's low to her) and while her SS check will be here on Friday, she says she just can't seem to afford any food now. She has little notebooks on her side table from years back and they have daily tallies of her bank balance. Even now she calls the bank twice a day to check it. I'm thinking this is an obsession.
Pulling out hair.
I told her she'd not go broke, but she can't get her head around that fact. I talked and I talked, trying to reason with her, but she can't understand. Her bills are paid, no unexpected things are coming out, but still, she feels on edge. I get it as best as I can. She can't control anything since her stroke, so if she can control spending, that's something, I guess.
The thing is, she'll really not eat if she's feeling like she's going into the poor house. I've even asked her about this (you heard this same story a couple of months ago) idea of not eating, and she denies it. Says she'll eat. But here's the thing: I can't get back to the store until Thursday, so while this might sound like I'm trying to teach her a lesson, there is a reason we go on Mondays. There is life to be lived here, and the days and sometimes nights are busy. Bet she'll be real hungry come Thursday. Kidding. She has food, just not as much as I like to see in her house.
Caring for an aged parent is hard, hard, hard.
Tomorrow is a home day. Cleaning, both physical and in the mental realm. Can't tote my mom around in my head too long or I'll go nuts. I was all shaky after talking to her, just a drain, but we just do the best we can. My best isn't probably someone else's best, but what can I say?
The least one is our chef tonight. She's got a dab hand with baking, but never makes the main meal. She picked out Enchilada Soup from my Cooking Pinterest board, and so will leave now to put on the chicken for her. Then, it's up to her. :)
