Friday afternoon

• it's an absolutely gorgeous day today--low humidity, and the temperature isn't overly high at 87F.  
• been hot enough and humid enough lately to make me want to cry
• sweet indian boyfriend will be here for dinner
• daughter bought fixings for wrapped chicken, but i think i waited too late in putting it in the crockpot
• might have to put everything in my cast iron pot on the stove in a minute
• speed things up
• finished a book to review last night and it aggravated me so much
• the characters were so annoying, and i didn't enjoy it one bit
• began well, but thinking the review i write might be a bit testy
• the other reviews about it online are extremely favorable
• extremely
• darn it
• this has happened before---read a book, and then be the sole person who doesn't paint a favorable review
• tough to be me
• husband went over to my mom's to pick up a mower yesterday
• one of my brothers was there as well, visiting her
• the brother who's blocked my email
• remind me, how old is he?
• even hearing about them makes my hands break out in a rash
• had to take off all of my rings
• this has got to stop
• the silent treatment is an insane way to deal with folks
• again, tough to be me
• but---going out with oldest daughter tomorrow
• hoping to go to the hippie store to pick up the herbs i need for the next lesson in my herbal class
• enjoying it so much
• must keep focused on what brings me joy, and shove all other topics aside
• and, it's father's day weekend---must get gary into a holiday spirit of things
• enjoy your evening, and plan something fun

A play day for Thursday

Here I lie in bed, thinking about tomorrow.  As far as I know, there are no errands outside the house for me to perform.  If I have my druthers, it'll be a quiet day of puttering along, putting the tablecloth and lace back on the dining room table, and the old patterned tablecloth back on top of the refrigerator.  They got washed and hung out to dry last week, and have been folded up ever since.  I've been too hot to even think of decorating.  I want to re-arrange things a bit and put them in different places. Re-pot some begonias, and basically just shake things up a little.  Visual stimulation goes a long way in making me happy.

And it's been a frustrating series of days.  Our washing machine drains into the double kitchen sinks (done before we bought the house, by the owners who were fix-it types), and has been on the brink of overflowing for weeks off and on.  The boys would get on the roof, run the hose down the outlet drain and it'd be fine for a day, then clog up again.  Gary found a gizmo in his bag of plumbing tricks and got up there this evening. The sinks were good and clogged this time.  Finally, relief.  Now I don't have to watch the sinks when the washer spins out, and that's a very good thing.

Plus our vacuum bit the dust awhile back and I'm using Gary's shop vac.  Not recommended for the faint of heart.  Man, that beggar is hard to drag along.  Will be glad for the opportunity to get another home vacuum, but still, glad of having his to use.  Can't complain too awfully much.

Seems I spend an awful amount of time in simply maintaining the status quo around here.  Keeping the house reasonably decent, groceries in the cabinets and milk in the fridge.  When one part of the house breaks (the sink, for example), it puts a drain on the day.

The least one wants to sew tomorrow.  Awhile back, we got out felt and the two younger girls made small stuffed creatures, for lack of a better name.  They were sort of like monsters.  Anyway, while middle daughter enjoyed it, the least one had a real talent for it.  So tomorrow I'll let her create.  It's so easy for the day to pass with only chores completed, and nothing fun being accomplished.  Time to shake it up a bit.

Will try to get the basic chores done early, to leave the day for play.  I need it as much as the kids.  Must remember that.

A slow day...

~painting by eduoard vuillard

The air conditioner in our bedroom is sad at best.  It's small and inserted in the space over the window by my side of the bed. Since it's an electricity drain, I have the window up a few inches and a fan set in the corner of the room instead.  The ceiling fan spins as well.  It's enough.  And if I rarely move, I'm comfortable.

Yesterday was a teensy bit hotter, and with my hair in a braid, by the end of the day the woven ends of my hair were beginning to almost drip.  That dang sweat went down my hair all the way to the ends.  And with it just inches from reaching my waist, yuck.  I tend to get wild ideas of cutting it when summer hits, but with growing it out for several years, will keep trying to attain my goal of having it reach my waist, then stop.  It's on my bucket list, and requires no effort.  I mean, it's just growing hair.  How hard can that be?  And I only have about 4 more inches to go.  Grows slower the older I get.  Everything's slower the older I get.

I have goals for the inside of the house too, but the heat index of around 103F. doesn't inspire me much.  Yeah, the central air is on, but you can feel the humidity inside if you get too busy.

And a cake for first-born has to be baked before dinner, speaking of heat.  He turns 28 today.  Whoosh goes the time.  I was 26 when we had him, and living in North Carolina at the time.  Wonder what life would've been like if we'd stayed there?  Well, it still would've been hot, that's for sure.

Must go now.  Need to tidy up the bedroom a bit.  Not geared up for it, but what else is new!?

Enjoy your day.

Online thinking

After reading about the guy who's leaked all sorts of information about our personal stuff being tapped, I'm two ways in thinking about public blogging, etc.  On Facebook I try to lesson my personal information and photos, but still, they creep in when I'm tagged, or if I drop my guard.  Hard to remain anonymous.  And really, Facebook is a real trip for nosiness.  If you think about it, all your stuff is willingly handed out.  We just do it.  Freely and without hesitation.  I do as well, and am not criticizing anyone.  I'm just thinking a bit more about being so gullible.  Why do we trust folks so easily?  You almost have to not blog, not play with any online games or even get online at all to remain safe, or what we think is safe.

And here at Blogger, Google reigns.  I have a Gmail account, a Twitter account and one with Pinterest.  They can all connect whether I want them to or not.  I'm traceable.  Find my ISP and you find me.

Just makes me wonder, though, if I'm worthy of a trace.  I'm, pretty much, a nobody. I'm not a threat to anyone, though my conservative views might make me suspect by this administration.

If you think you can disinfect your life enough so as to be invisible, good luck with that. I do wonder, though, if it's worth making some small changes.  Are there blogging platforms that are less vulnerable?  Email accounts that give you more safety?  Ways to safeguard your computers so that you're not such a susceptible target?  I just don't know, but aim to look into it.

Monday's thoughts

Had to lean on the kids for a bill-paying today, and that's one thing that just rips me up when it has to happen.  Fortunately, it's not happened in quite awhile.  Yes, I've asked for grocery money, but for bills, no. Up until very recently, Gary's work has been consistent and enough for our needs.  It's just that from time to time it gets tight and they have to/need to help.  They're always good about it, never fussing (or so that we hear them) and give willingly.  I mean, they want electricity as much as we do.

It'd be more comfortable, however, if we were flush all the time, and this never happened.  But it does.

I was just telling Gary that it makes me feel so lousy to have to lean on the kids.  He agreed, but was trying to put it into perspective for me.  We don't hit them with rent, they're able to save a great deal of their earned money, and while we have been dire in the past, we really are in this all together.  A house requires funds to run it, and we work as a team.  I don't think any of the kids would dispute that.  And honestly, it's much cheaper for them to live at home.  Much.

Trouble is, and I've noticed this in my relationship with the Lord...what has gone on with my own parents has affected how freely I trust God, and how I feel about leaning. And with my mom lately moving in a strange direction, I've experienced some fresh spiritual troubles.  I find myself apologizing to the Lord, telling Him I don't want to doubt Him, but that it's hard to feel as if He really cares when my mom is behaving so negatively towards me/us.  It's the most bizarre situation I've ever been involved it. Talk about blind-sided.

The thing is for me is (and I've noticed this in others)...our relationship with our parents, whether it's good or bad, does often color our relationship with the Father. Unfortunately we often have to dig through lots of stuff before we can trust Him completely.  If our parents are unpredictable, given to silences, or cruel then sometimes we expect the same treatment from the Lord.  Not fair to Him, but it is what it is.  Quite often I expect a butt-whuppin' even when I realize I'm not in the wrong.  I just expect it.

But I have to remember that God is always faithful, and is always the SAME.  His silences are ones that draw me closer, not further away.  If He is quiet, it's a waiting quiet and always good.  That's a comfort.

Sunday afternoon

~great mustache, eh?

Bills due again.  They just do that, don't they?  I see ads online where folks are tempted with things that would never be on an ordinary wish list.  Do people really have extra money to throw around on things they really don't need and just want?  That amazes me.

Even now, Gary's finished work on 2 vapors this weekend, in order to do that very thing.  Tempt the vaping public to buy his work.  Former smokers are notorious for spending money.  You figure, plain old cigarette smoking is plenty expensive, so those who vape now and don't smoke tobacco are more willing than you'd think to part with some cash. Here's praying they do very soon. Today would be nice.

Anyway, hope you have a restful evening.  I'm about to get up from my prone position on the bed and tidy up the house a bit.  It was clean on Thursday night, but something apparently happened.  And sweet Indian boyfriend will be over later, so a go over would be a good idea.

Roundandround we go.

Daisy imitating Lassie

Have spent a lazy day.  Oldest daughter made a tiny grocery store run for me, wanting me to stay put, and that was a treat.  Watched the second Jason Bourne movie during naptime (this makes five times I've seen it now), and made hamburgers and fries for dinner.  Gary's been at his shop making vapors (see vaporwoods for his work), so it's just been me and the kids.  Lots of chicken-watching.

A funny thing.

Daisy the pug has been a bit under the weather today with her cough re-surfacing, but she's okay....still, she's wanted lots of holding and cuddling.  I was sitting out back after dinner with the girls, watching chickens, and Daisy and Violet were out there with us. The least one took Madelyn the chicken to the far side of the yard to see if she could find her way back to the others. Usually they call out to one another, and always stay in a group.  We were just trying to entertain ourselves.  Lame, I know.  Anyway, Madelyn kept circling, not knowing which way to go, and finally, after listening to us yell at her, Daisy jumped down from my lap and rounded her back.  In addition to that, when we were ready to bring the chickens inside for the night, Daisy did the same thing, rounding them up and getting them to the back steps.

A pug doing the work of a sheepdog.  Pretty wild.