Have done some Christmas shopping, but wouldn't mind just looking past the holiday this year. I still remember the hospice worker who took care of my neighbor 2 years ago telling those of us who were grieving that real grief can take up to 8 years to pass. I remember being shocked then, and it still makes me shiver. Thing is, we don't often get spaces of 8 years in order to process one loss before we're prepared for the next one. They overlap.
It will take awhile to recharge after my friend's death. It's almost been a week. I mean, we prayed for 3-1/2 years about her cancer. I want to *snap out of it*, but it ain't happening. And it won't. I know that. Honestly, to expect to feel better, really better, after a week would be laughable. What gets me so much is that I just recently was able to feel myself again, without tearing up about my neighbor being gone. Those darned milestone days smack us in the face, reminding us of their passing and in my life, the holidays seem to be the dreaded dates. My neighbor died the week of Thanksgiving and now Christmas has its own reminder. Goodness, I'm melancholy today.
It's like the daily weight I'd feel after the passing of my father 16 years ago. I'd wake up in the morning not remembering what had happened, and then it'd hit me. He was gone. And on it goes.
I don't handle death well. But who does? Of the most trying situations I've had to deal with, they've all had to do with the losses of folks close to me. And maybe everyone is the same. I don't fear the hereafter, but am so plagued by the messes that are left as a result of it. I absolutely hate it.
It will take awhile to recharge after my friend's death. It's almost been a week. I mean, we prayed for 3-1/2 years about her cancer. I want to *snap out of it*, but it ain't happening. And it won't. I know that. Honestly, to expect to feel better, really better, after a week would be laughable. What gets me so much is that I just recently was able to feel myself again, without tearing up about my neighbor being gone. Those darned milestone days smack us in the face, reminding us of their passing and in my life, the holidays seem to be the dreaded dates. My neighbor died the week of Thanksgiving and now Christmas has its own reminder. Goodness, I'm melancholy today.
It's like the daily weight I'd feel after the passing of my father 16 years ago. I'd wake up in the morning not remembering what had happened, and then it'd hit me. He was gone. And on it goes.
I don't handle death well. But who does? Of the most trying situations I've had to deal with, they've all had to do with the losses of folks close to me. And maybe everyone is the same. I don't fear the hereafter, but am so plagued by the messes that are left as a result of it. I absolutely hate it.
