Pre-Sunday chatter

• listening to the backstreet boys with a great set of headphones (they make me happy!---not the headphones, you understand)
• updated gary's work at the journal & tea site
• wrote on the companion blog as well
• and we've opened an etsy shop (so totally cool) and honestly, gary's the craftsman here...i just say 'way-to-go' over and over
• ants have taken over our house
• they are being made unwelcome, but not enough have gotten the message
• the movie last night, 'the way back' was exceptional---no kidding
• thought the royal wedding was pretty, but am a die-hard diana fan
• expecting more rain on top of the significant flooding around
• glad we don't expect to have rain in our house--the advantages of having a house with a crawlspace underneath
• tired of all the drama in life, you know?
• but still, looking forward to a quiet tomorrow...hope yours is as well

'The Elemental Journal' by Tammy Kushnir

This is a delightful book.  But for those who are wanting to create super-tidy bits of art, the quirky and messy techniques won't suit.  The subtitle being 'composing artful expressions from items cast aside' does dignify what the book is all about.  The author, Tammy Kushnir, has scoured her home and other areas for cast-offs that wouldn't have a place to be but for her art projects, and it appears that she has lots of fun with it.  I enjoyed the writing that goes along with the pieces as well---Tammy appears to be a very down-to-earth person and that is apparent in the very appealing way she writes.

She's joined by 9 other mixed-media artists whose art is shown as well.  I found it interesting to see how they each had definite styles in what they produced.  Of course this sort of artwork is very personal and dependent on what's around, and because of that, is very appealing to look through.

My only criticism of the work is the almost deliberate messiness.  The stitches used in sewing parts of the pieces together is very crude, as is the hand-lettering.  The thing is, though, that all of this work is personal, so everyone has their own rules as to what is acceptable and what isn't.  A perfectionist won't be able to be as half-hazard as one who's more lighthearted about their creations.  All in all, the book made me smile, and even caused me to want to ease up on my own tendencies to be overly tidy.  Well-done, Tammy. :)

(this book was provided free for a review from thomas nelson/booksneeze)

A slowing down sort of day

Hadn't done any heavy duty vacuuming in awhile---long enough that a wasp I'd killed in the living room window and that had fallen behind the sofa was covered in dust.  Not proud of my lousy housekeeping skills, but that's the way of it.  Least it looks better today.  And re-arranging the furniture is always refreshing.

Feeling better inside (meaning inside of me, not necessarily inside the house), and I keep telling folks here at home that the state of the house is directly related to the state of my mind.  A clean house signifies a settled heart.  I'm not any wiser than I was at the beginning of the week, but am reminding myself that a life of faith is hard work.  Well, in the way that I have to keep calling to mind certain Scriptures, and have to continually surrender my worries.  Habits really are hard to break, and fretting has had become my daily companion.  It's nice to be able to let it go.  Not easy, but nice.

So, might rent a movie at Redbox tonight---thinking about a Colin Farrell/Ed Harris (who both tickle my fancy) one called 'The Way Home' that looks pretty good on the trailer.  And with it not being a girlie movie, Gary ought to go for it....he gets a guy movie and I get to watch the guys.  We both win.  And no, I didn't really say that.  Enjoy the rest of your day. :)

(not feeling quite as worn out as the woman in the photo, but she makes me smile nonetheless)

More...

Found these quotes in Linda Dillow's book that I mentioned earlier:

In Word Studies in the Greek New Testament, Kenneth Wuest wrote, "God commands us to 'Stop perpetually worrying about even one thing.'  We commit sin when we worry.  We do not trust God when we worry.  We do not receive answers to prayer when we worry, because we are not trusting."

And...

George Muller said, "The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith.  The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety."

A beautiful Thursday

About to go to my mom's to pick up the kids.  Third son turns 20 tomorrow (not sure how that happened so fast), but since he works then, we're having his birthday dinner tonight (presents tomorrow, though)---and before you ask, it's tortilla soup and carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.  I made the cake this afternoon, and as is my habit, forgot the shredded cheese to put on the soup, so have a brief stop to make before fetching kids.  I'm tellin' ya, I'm forgetful. 

My on again, off again trials of faith are a struggle today.  After only about 5 hours of sleep, wasn't equipped to be a human today, or at least not a sober and mature one.  Close to tears several times, but that's what girls do, right?

Keep having to force myself to just look to what's in front of me.  Isn't that 'oh so hard'?  Man.  Then I'll get on a roll about what's not done, what's needing doing, what's dirty in the house, the condition of the kitchen cabinets, the garbage that needs taking out, the inability to keep a pile of towels folded---I could go on and on (or maybe I already did).  Anyway.  

Today we eat cake and yummy soup.  Gary and I will go birthday shopping after dinner.  We'll have some time, just the two of us, which will be good, and overdue as well.  Really, even though I take on more than I can chew, I'm so thankful for clear, beautiful weather today.  Can't even hardly think of the tornado damage that happened after the storms blew through here.  I really am so thankful.  I got nothing to complain about when I balance it all out.  You know?

Mid-weak (or should it be Mid-week?) :)

The title of this post---my play on words, trying to be less in control.  We'll see how that flies.

Had downloaded a free Linda Dillow (unknown to me before) book onto my Kindle awhile back, but hadn't opened it up until last night.  Perfect timing.  She says something about making a list of positives and negatives in your life and seeing which list is longer.  Gulp.  I just know if I did that, that the bads (in my mind) would out-weigh the good.  Who's kidding who here?  I should be ashamed.  The thing is, I get so overworked by money issues.  If the bills are late being paid, then I get so anxious.  Being self-employed has complicated that matter.  Imagine not having a weekly salary to depend on, knowing that the same housenote/utilities/telephone/etc. will be due as they are for everyone.  Imagine not knowing if there will be money for groceries or any other incidentals and if you can get your head there, then you live in my world.  It ain't always comfortable.

But it is certainly a testing ground for faith.

Read these quotes from Dillow's book, 'Calm My Anxious Heart:  A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment'.

"...let Me be the Blessed Controller.  Surrender.  Accept my timing.  Accept my ways.  Accept my outcome.  Let your trust be in Me alone."

"It's our 'helping God out' that leads to an anxious heart.  When we take over and try to control what happens, we take our focus off of the One who is in control and put our eyes on our circumstances."

Absolutely.  And these things are exactly what I need to work on.

Well (dusting off hands), now I feel that I have a tiny grip on my problem, but have to apply what I'm learning anew.  Thankful for a tiny glimmer of sun showing through, and that we made it through last night's storm okay.  We saw another tree down on a house a couple of blocks away, but it seemed to go through the side part of the house, and not straight through the main living area.  Goodness.  Life is certainly full of drama now.  Sure puts a believer slap in the Father's lap, doesn't it?

(thanks to my sweet friend, Bonnie, who sent me the sidebar graphic 'all shall be well'.  a worthy reminder)

She's about to bloooooooooooooow

"Moses' arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset."~Exodus 17:12

Feeling very Moses-like in my meager human sort of way.  Needing the love of folks praying.  Discouragement is rearing its head and I'm just plain tired of praying day in and day out for the same things and seeing nuthin'.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."~Psalms 13:12

Yeah, woke up in a whiny mood, not able to see much further than the front of my face.  Feeling anxious though I'm not supposed to, and realizing that God's blessing is nearer every day because of the enemy upping his attacks.  Apparently he (old one of the fork-ed tongue) can see things that I can't, and is poking Gary and me in our sides, wanting us to give up.  

I can't imagine how parents feel who have an ill child who's dealing with a terminal-type sickness.  Praying for health in those instances must be so exhausting.  I am thankful that I'm praying for work for Gary's shop and not about something dreadful.  Waiting for God in any situation is trying, and a test of faith I'm never quite keen on.  I pitch my fits and continually admire my husband who never questions God, though he gets mighty frustrated.  I'm more of a kid who's having a tantrum, sometimes losing a bit of respect for my elders and stomping my feet (theoretically speaking, of course). 

Looking forward to a hearty exhale. 

Where my head is right this minute...

The time is just shy of 10pm, and we're about to get another storm.  A tornado was sighted in Little Rock, and praying that the Mississippi River works as a buffer as often happens, so that we're spared much wind, etc.

This is getting old, I'm telling you.  With the current weather conditions in the South, well, we've been subject to way too much wind and damage. 

It's getting windy as I type.  Will close down the computer and get away from this side of the house (the west side).  Praying for boys to get home safely from restaurant.  Not meaning to sound cryptic, and I'm not actually fretting, but always feel a tad anxious when the T word (tornado) is batted around.

Will chat at you tomorrow. :)

UPDATE:  We made it fine through the storm...rained hard and was a bit windy, but very minor esp. compared to what Arkansas suffered.  More later tonight, I hear.  

A beautiful day after the rain

Mondays have turned out to be stormy sorts of days.  Oldest daughter invited me out to lunch today, and after we'd been driving en route to McDonald's only around 5 minutes, the bottom dropped out of the sky, and the tornado sirens began howling.  AGAIN.  Toyed with the idea of turning around and going back home, but she called back at our house, to have one of the boys check the radar on the t.v.  Apparently the worst had already passed, while we were driving, so continued on to our destination.

We had a good time.  This daughter is so silly, and just people-watching with her is fun.   I forget how to be nonsensical because I'm spending so much time being an adult (cue the laugh track), and it's good to be around kids and enjoy them just being kids, even if this particular child is 23 years old.  Still, she's a real joy to be around, and for that, I'm grateful.

Went to a couple of shops to browse after lunch, and were able to relax more since the rain had stopped and the sirens as well.  Finished up at a cancer park near our home we'd driven by plenty of times, but had never stopped to visit.  I'd heard they had a labyrinth walk and was curious.  I remember first reading about labyrinths a few years back and was leery as to their purpose---thinking New Age thoughts, no doubt.  Anyway, oldest daughter wasn't interested in walking it, but timed me to see how long it took, and she very quietly said, "Ooooom" while I walked.  See?  Not a very serious child. :)  Anyway, took me 5 minutes and the thing that was interesting was that it calmed me down.  Here it is, nearly an hour later, and I still feel it.  Must be something about focusing on one thing that's centering (there's that New Age-speak coming out again) and settling to my mind.

And no, for anyone suspecting me of being ill with cancer, that's not the case. Just wanted to walk in that little park.  I do wear a pink silicone HOPE bracelet, but that's more as an encouragement for me to keep my chin up, rather than a tribute to those with cancer.  Have had my share of friends/family who've had cancer, but it's mostly been limited to lung cancer.  Me and everybody else.

Anyway, hope you have a sweet day.  Still praying for Gary's workshop to have a bang-up week.  The Lord is quietly in the background, but I know He's there.  If He's allowing this period of stillness, then it must be okay.  You take care.

On Saturday

Trying to get my head into the place of the disciples oh so many years ago.  Not easy, and don't for one minute believe I can experience their pain.  Yet I feel distracted and have been cleaning in preparation for...........something, I guess.  When I get distressed, the cleaning and tidying begins, and Gary knows the warning signs of me being overwhelmed.  I scrub.  So today the curtains are down, washed and hanging in the sun to dry.  Am changing them around so that the visuals in the living room/dining room are a bit different.

Anyway, not so much into bunnies and chicks this season, but am more focused on the seriousness of Easter than I ever have been.  Maybe because the Lord has been clung to even more so, here lately.  The worldly sides of life are a bit more unsteady with the tragedies that have played out with earthquakes, tsunamis and tornadoes (felt a bit too close to home), along with many folks feeling the sting of work-related problems.  Life feels more fragile, and as a result, needs to be paid more respect.  So no frivolousness in my head now.

But to not be a party pooper, have bought small things for the kids for tomorrow morning.  The Easter baskets will be a tiny bit meager, but will still be present.  Our dinner will be tonight rather than tomorrow, because second son, who is a grilling cook at a restaurant, wants to cook out for us tomorrow as he and his co-worker brother have been given tomorrow off---even the whole restaurant is taking the holiday.  Joy.  Just sorry that oldest son has to work this weekend, though.  Otherwise I'd have all my chickens at home.

But contentment in the air, nonetheless.  Just today.  Just this minute.  Just now.

(photo by my woodboy)

Friday

For the first time in ages, I don't have to go anywhere today.  Can't remember when I've not had to either take the boys to work, stop off at the drugstore for oddments, return overdue library books at the last minute, or take my mom somewhere.  I feel like I can sort of relax.  Might take some practice, though.

Dinner is leftovers...going to try some sort of calzone dish with some thick leftover spaghetti sauce.  We'll see how that flies, but will buy Easter dinner fixings tomorrow.  We always have Greek for Easter---spanakopita, but I add chicken to it.  Yumminess.  It's a tradition at our house, even though we're not Greek by a long shot.  If we ate German, English, French or Irish---well then, we'd be true to our heritage.  But Greek food is so amazing, we've made this our signature Easter meal.

Just looking to today.  Not going to borrow trouble that will be taken care of in due time.  I mean, Gary will have work in the shop again, and while we've been through these dry spells before, God has never totally left us.  We'll be fine.  It's a stretch, but a test of faith as well.

Glad I'm better from yesterday.  I really needed to vent.  But that's a good thing, and healthy as well, I think.  Can't keep all of that bottled up.  Not wanting to sound trite, but really, I'm feeling much more smooth and am going to revel in it.  Things are hard, but not impossible.

Blessings on your Good Friday.

(image from vintage workshop)

Oh bother

This is one of those *I've had just about enough, thank you* sort of days.  Woke up expecting nothing, which means I fully figured that none of my prayer requests would be answered today.  Yeah, it's a grumpy pants sort of attitude, but it's mine and I'm sticking to it.  And so far haven't been disappointed in my prophetic perspective on the day.  How's that for being ungrateful for even the smallest of blessings? 

Anyway, today being, what the kids call, Nana Day, we put her groceries in the truck and hightailed it over to my mom's at about 11am.  Was available if she needed help while she bathed, and then I rolled her hair.  Then had to get gas for her mower and for her car, plus had forgotten something on her grocery list and had to make a trip to the drugstore for that.  Yeah, still grumpy pants.  See, I have this amazing capability to always forget something on the list for the store EVEN when I have it all written down.  Must be I have this selective blindness when it comes to actually reading the list.  That's all I can figure. 

So, the resounding result of all of this anger/fussiness/angst/exhaustion/frustration is that I'm absolutely aching for a blessing that's big enough to make me gasp.  Doesn't really matter what it is, but the Lord's sweet voice is very silent to me just now and I need to hear it.  And I'm not that grumpy but that I'm able to listen.  Know what I mean?

Don Hoesel's 'The Alarmists'

Don Hoesel's newest book, 'The Alarmist', was enjoyable from start to finish.  I've always been a fan of government/political/Jason Bourne sorts of books, and this one fit in that category perfectly.  The main character, Brent Michaels, is a sociologist who is called by the Pentagon (which proves that he's not just just any sociologist) to help them solve a mystery---one involving several happenings that point to the earth being on a self-destructive downward spiral.  They want to know if the reason behind these occurrences is man-made or natural.  And Hoesel brings into the story the hype surrounding the Mayan calendar's prophetic date of the world ending in December 2012.  I enjoyed how he brought it all together.

This is the sort of book that is hard to put down.  I looked forward to opening it up again everyday until I finished it.  Can't beat that for praise.


(i received this book free to review from bethany house publishers)

Things to tuck in my mind

Read two new tweets today, and am going to think on them today when doubt butts into my thoughts...

"Every time I let fear call the shots about my day I deny that I know Jesus. Fear not."~Bob Goff

and

"Worry is the dark room where defeat develops."~Amish proverb (via Suzanne Fisher)

Yes ma'am.

(btw, survived the storm last night....heard that there were a few trees down and a tornado spotted, but none of it right in our neighborhood...very thankful to have power when many have lost theirs)

Might as well laugh

My husband says the bad weather will pass us by (he's the optimist in this duo), and I'm sweatin' it, hoping/praying he's right.  In the meantime, I'll share a photo of the newest thing he's made for the shop.  Another mortar and pestle, but this time the pestle is a thumb.  The man's nuts.

Weather and birthdays

It's another windy day outside today, and I'm sure I'm not the only Southerner who's looking up and being mindful of the storm we had just over two weeks ago.  Our neighborhood is FULL of old oaks, and some folks around the corner are planning on having theirs taken done to the ground soon.  Sad to hear that, especially when Gary and I both have said that those trees really *make* that property look special.  Folks are scared, though.  Seeing numerous trees on top of houses will do that.  But folks recover, and I'm always amazed at our resilience.

Today's the least one's ninth birthday, so it's all about her.  Well, with her winning personality, it's usually all about her no matter!  My sanguine child who's got an attitude about life that's all fun and more besides.  I could learn from that.  Anyway, she's requested chicken enchiladas for dinner with rotel dip and tortilla chips, followed by Italian Cream Cake (had to capitalize that because it's so darn good).  In a cute comment last night, Gary asked if we could wait to give the new Barbie until dinner, since he seemed to want to see her open it.  Like she needs a new Barbie, he says at Target last night?  Well, yeah!  Her other request was a magnifying glass that he found for her---with her bug fetish, guess it'll come in handy.  We tend to give lots of little presents throughout the day, so birthdays are usually full.  I'm enjoying her joy.

Must go now.  More clothes to wash (as it's an excellent drying day with this wind), and schoolwork to go over.  Enjoy your day.  I'm going to focus on birthday thoughts and any worries about bills that are due will, hopefully, be shoved aside.  Note to self:  God is in control.  I can't affect the outcome of what He's planned, but I can work on my trust issues.

Thoughts from the heart

Sometimes life with God gets down and to the heart of things (or of us, as the case may be).  I've been so waylaid by my mom's broken arm situation that I've not felt myself in weeks and weeks.  The house has pouted for feeling left behind, and our homeschooling has been more creatively done, to say the least.  This week makes it 3 months since she fell, and it's been a really long period of time, let me tell you.

Now that Mom's able to drive short distances (as of this week), her life ought to be taking on more of a normalcy.  Mine as well.  Supposedly she drove herself to church yesterday, but I'm not sure since we've not talked.  And I think she's planning on driving herself to her physical therapy this week too.  Fortunately it's in her neighborhood, so that's a blessing.  She didn't tell me which days she's to go, so I'm thinking she was deliberately keeping me from knowing, so she could take care of it herself.  But that's just me thinking that.

As to the life with God part of this post, with Gary's work in the shop being sloooooooooooow, my prayers have grown more gritty.  I get so frustrated when I pray and it appears that the Lord is silent.  I get antsy and wonder what I'm doing wrong.  Am I holding my mouth right, withholding forgiveness from anyone, or just plain unlovable?  So many thoughts spin through my head as I wait on the Lord, and while I could often win awards for patience, usually I'm long on that virtue with humans, but not so much with God.  Guess I want instantaneous results more often than not.

And dealing with this darn cold which makes my brain work ineffectively.  My spirits are sort of willing, but my physical self---not so much.

Just a ragamuffin.  Even after walking alongside the Lord all these many years, I still feel myself losing faith and scratching my head.  I've not got things figured out, and was led to believe as a child by my elders that adulthood was full of wisdom and success.  Huh.  Guess I've got to attain more age first.  Not a clue.

And here's another thing.  Christians are fond of using the line that says, "God is never early but always right on time."  I hate that.  I put it in the same category with "This too will pass."  Not helpful, but only irritating. 

Thankfully He is ever patient with me, even as I wring my hands and grit my teeth.  I definitely act in a childish way and wonder if His remarks about coming to Him as a child include our tantrums.  I can only hope so.

Saturday, finally!

Enjoying Pinterest, and have a board set up there...similar to Tumblr, but am able to put photos in categories. Also, a person can actually blog on Tumblr, but not so on Pinterest, which is like a huge bulletin board.  Found this photo there, and think it's so relaxing.  Wish I was there. :)

Just back from taking fourth son to his Easter Bunny gig.  My friend, Molly, who owns a clowning company, rented our son to be the EB today.  He really enjoyed it, even though he'd never done anything like that before.  Said it's interesting to wear a costume and have folks relate to you as a character rather than as yourself.  Makes sense.  Sometimes wish I could dress up and hide.  Might be onto something there!

Gonna kick back the rest of the weekend.  This head cold has me in its grips, and with groceries in for the next couple of days, I can just drag around the house and recover. 

Winding down

Life caught up with me today.  Felt a sore throat coming on last night, and today have the sniffles.  I can't remember the last time I had a cold, but if that's the case, it must've been long ago.  Just taking it slow.  When I sit up too long, I get tired, so not a lot will get accomplished today.

Yesterday, when I was running errands while Mom was at the physical therapist, I got to wondering how long I'd be able to keep up my (then) current pace.  Huh.  Didn't take long to get an answer, did it?  I am thankful, though, that Gary was able to take mom to her doctor's appointment this morning.  That made a heap of difference.  She's steadily improving, and most things in her world are looking up.

Must go now.  It's a cozy, yet chilly day.  A storm blew through overnight, but maybe we're over the major parts of the rain and all.

Take care.

Journal & Tea

Gary's been wearing out his little woodworker's hands, and while some of you know about his site at My Father's Workshop, now he's got a place for his smaller goodies at Journal & Tea.  I type out the wee text on the website, and he makes the stuff.

Please go take a look around.  All the sawdust has been swept up and we're ready for company.

Oh, and I've opened a blog for it.  Figures, eh?!!

A busy day

Just back from taking Mom to her physical therapist.  It's interesting how much time errands take up.  I left the house at around 12:30 for her 1pm appointment, and after doing a *what's for dinner* run to the store (while she was being pulled and tugged), and then picking up something to snack on with her afterward, plus going to the drugstore for her to pick up a couple of things, it was after 3:30pm when I got back home.  My goodness, the time passes quickly.

I'm in bed now, re-reading parts of Robert Benson's book, 'A Good Life', that came in the mail yesterday.  With Wednesday being a slow day, I was able to sit in the sun out back and read the whole thing.  It's only about 80 pages long, and his writing is always restful and comforting.  I've not bought all of his books yet, but have a tidy little collection.  When my days get a bit wired (more often than I prefer), I enjoy taking out one of his books and having a *moment*.  He's good for a deep breath.

Lately am reminded of my favorite quote in the newest Tron movie.  Jeff Bridges tells his son, "You're messing with my Zen thing, man."

I love that, and could have it tattooed onto my forehead. 

As for now, am resting in bed and the window's open.  The least one is here with me, along with the pugs (Gary'll have a fit if he ever finds out that I allow the pugs to get on this bed!)  The rest of the kids who are at home are quietly doing whatever it is that they do, and we'll make chicken pie in a bit.  And that's about all I know for now.  Today's good.

Fun times

Let the big dogs out just after 6am this morning and noticed insulation, shingles and plastic on the ground at the back of the house.  Took a minute for the reality of what had happened to hit me, but obviously *something* had been trying to get into the attic during the night.  The dogs sniffed around, then went about their business.  Seems they weren't too awfully impressed.

Oldest daughter got up shortly after I did, and said that she'd heard a lot of noise in the attic over her room, at around 4:30am or so.  When Gary got up and after he'd showered (figured I'd give him a bit of time before spreading the news), he saw that the hole in the roof was big---probably 8 or more inches across, at least.  He went up into the attic (which I'd never have the nerve to do), and saw a white animal all curled up under the hole it'd made.

Long story short---he poked at it, and being that it was very docile, it just very quietly got up and crawled out of the hole---well, after it moved around a bit.  I think Gary'd woken it up.  Then it went to the old heating chimney, but didn't have access to the attic from there, so went into the hole again.  After doing this several times, and getting shot at by second son's BB gun, it finally ran off.  And, no, it didn't get hurt, but what are you going to do, huh? 

When oldest daughter got a look at it crawling around on the roof, I said that it looked like a fox as it climbed out, then she said it looked like a big possum.  Well, it turned out to be an albino raccoon.  So beautiful, but much better looking as it ran into our neighbor's yard than it had on our roof. 

That's our excitement for the day. :)  Roof repair work to be done later.  The grill lid makes for a very handy roof cover in the meantime. Figure we'll hear it clatter to the concrete patio if the critter comes back. 

(not our photo...ours was cuter)

Chatter

• resting in bed with the least one tucked beside me
• she's recovering from a sore throat, and she's been too busy too soon
• thinking that it's a bit of a downer that the royal couple have been living together prior to their up-coming marriage---what's the point, i wonder
• beginning the tiniest bits of spring cleaning---working on motivation first
• bought some portobello mushrooms on sale at the store for spaghetti sauce tonight
• and needing to find a recipe for cupcakes using buttermilk---we have some leftover from making the italian cream cake on sunday
• buttermilk isn't tasty in a glass---least not in my world
• going to move 2 justin bieber cds onto my laptop later on from a son's computer
• i figure that i was smitten with bobby sherman (way back when) and haven't grown up quite yet
• lovely having the windows open with it being cooler outside
• our bedroom has been taken over by ants, who appear to be a bit immune to my tricks--nuts
• looking forward to a new/used copy of a robert benson book that should be here soon---this one called 'A Good Life: Benedict's Guide to Everyday Joy'
• must rest now---time for quiet

Pretty sites to visit

I've run across three links in the past day or so and, to me, they're all so sweet.  One is for doily cookies from Bliss in Images (so totally cute), and the other two are from Bending Birches about nursing young ones, and a Waldorf nursery school.  Such beautiful photographs in each of these posts, and so child-friendly. :)  Makes me take a deep breath. 

And really, when I see a blog like Bending Birches, I want to have a mothering re-do.  So many things I'd maybe do different, and one of them is to relax more and fret less.  Maybe it's not too late, eh?

Decorating

Was wanting a new blog look (not uncommon in my place here), and remembered PaisleyCatScraps and how much I'd enjoyed being at her site before.   She seems to have such fun, and is a real delight.  Anyway, with my account here, I can't use the old Blogger templates with the gadgets like I used to, because if I pull up the old, basic templates, the gadget option isn't there.  Not so with all of my accounts (I have several, mostly to play around with).  Anyway, I loaded the current background in the gadgets spot (she gives you the code to use in order to accomplish this), and used the Awesome template here at Blogger---the green one.  Easy to tweak the colors, and I do love the finished result.

Only problem isn't really an issue, but on my husband's laptop, the background only shows about 1" at the sides, but on mine I get the full effect.

I think it's so pretty. :)

Now going to play some more online, then it's time to read.  Listening to Shawn McDonald's song, 'Closer', at YouTube.  I'm gonna to wear out that beggar.

Sunday

It's windy outside again like it was last Sunday, but not quite as gusty.  The temperature now is in the mid eighties, with a storm supposedly coming through late tonight/tomorrow morning to lend us cooler days.  It IS too hot for this time of year---and I'm too cheap to turn on the central air, so we have the windows open and the fans blowing.  Nice, but an overshadowing thought of what tomorrow brings. I do believe enough trees have fallen, yes?

Figure I'll concentrate on the cake I'm about to make (and heat up the house with!).  Italian Cream Cake and it is a lovely masterpiece if I do say so myself.  Coconut, 3-layers, pecans (and at $2/half a cup, had to skimp on them), buttermilk and lots of eggs.  The egg whites get beaten to stiffness, so it ends up being a very light, yet yummy cake.  We'll watch 'The Amazing Race' (the kids and I) while we indulge. 

So, must go now.  Will make barley vegetable soup for dinner as well.  We'll all be fat and happy before I'm done with 'em. :)

On a very warm Saturday afternoon

Something came to me yesterday in regards to my present mood, and it was all about the aftermath of the storm that whipped through here on Monday morning.  I've been agitated more than usual (sort of my normal mentality, I'll admit), and was trying to figure it out.  Then it occurred to me that it's not NORMAL to drive up the street or into my mom's neighborhood (three miles away) and see houses literally crushed by huge trees.  That's not supposed to happen.  And to see the homes when the trees have been removed is upsetting as well.  Smushed.  These are places I drive by daily and have come to see as safe places to be.  It's so unsettling.

We're expected to pick up the pieces of our lives and move past things too quickly.  Even now I can hear a chainsaw running and utility trucks are all over town loaded with logs on their backs.  We've seen cranes lifting trees off of houses and none of this is what's seen on a daily basis.

I need to be able to process it, you know?  To actually grieve over the loss of homes.  The mundane, routine and safe sounds so good at times, doesn't it?

Things whirling in my head

Thinking I could do with a mental retreat, sort of like in a monastery-like setting.  I want to escape responsibilities and adulthood for awhile.  Not for a really long time, but enough that I feel refreshed.

Lots of running around to do today with Mom's physical therapy, taking boys to work since we're down one vehicle today, and figuring out what to do for dinner.  Plus, let's not forget the homeschooling, which those who need me tend to forget.  I'm not a circus performer, you know.  And, my goodness, I'm so tired of buying gas for my Suburban.  The days get sadly routine with the same things going on day in and day out, with little relief.  I know I'm not much different than lots of folks, but my melancholy temperament doesn't always do me favors.

One thing I struggle with is feeling that I don't have 'permission' to fuss about certain things.  That I should shut up and cope.  And, you know, that gets old after awhile.  It's not that anyone is telling me this nonsense, but with my upbringing and the people I've associated with in the past---well, it's a natural place for my head to go.  To feel like I have to be strong, to put up with things that are more difficult than I'd prefer----and frankly, I'm tired of it.

Reminded of a line in the movie, 'Finding Nemo'---"Find a happy place.  Find a happy place."

Going to turn off my worries (if possible), dump my prayers in the Lord's lap, and do what I can with what's in front of me.  I love the mentality some people have about the week's end and Friday in particular.  You hear folks ask one another what they're going to do for the weekend, implying that fun is the ticket.  When did I stop thinking about things like that?  Have I allowed parenting and all that that entails to dictate my joy?  Well, nuts to that.  Must amend.

As my motto goes---just today.  Just do today.  Only problem is that today is darned full.

A bit of this and a little bit of that

• I can count around 10+ houses I've seen that have trees laying on top of them, all within a 2 mile radius of our house
• Gary's in the backyard now, having fixed our roof with the friend, looking at our huge oak and trying to figure out how to trim part of it down
• We get nervous when the wind blows strong
• Told Gary today, though, that while a lot of trees fell, that the majority of them didn't---my brand of twisted logic, I guess
• Change of subject
• Was finally able to buy the April copy of Romantic Homes magazine with Lidy's French Garden House in it---I visit her blog and think that she's awfully sweet 

• Speaking of folks I know---my extra-special friend, Patricia, has new blog pages open at: Picturing Plants (my personal favorite, I admit), Picturing Birds, and Picturing Angels.  Lovely pictures, and showing an incredible amount of research on Patricia's part
• Oldest daughter bought me a copy of the Mosaic Bible (in imitation leather, but you'd think it was real)---and it's SO pretty
• Considering going to River Jordan's book signing tonight if the time works out---she's so cool.  Her new book is called 'Praying for Strangers:  An Adventure of the Human Spirit'.  There's a video of her talking about the book there at Amazon as well.  She commented on my blog back in January, so I feel a special affection for her writing :) 
• Tyndale Publishers has 3 free e-books available for download for the month of April
• Must go rest now.  About time to go fetch the kids at my mom's, and I need to chill for a bit beforehand

Mid-week, and all is well

Just back home with the 4 least of my offspring after a trip to the library.  Always a good idea, and one that I enjoy more afterward when we're here in bed tucked up with our separate piles.  Bliss, for sure.  I'm not so keen on crowds, with the continual watching of young ones, keeping an eagle eye on my little girls especially, just proves that mothering is exhausting.  I can only let my guard down at our house.  Goodness.  Glad to be back, but it was good to go as well.

It's a beautiful day besides.  Quite breezy and a perfect clothes-drying day.  Middle daughter washed her sheets and I just hung them out.  The pugs were enjoying a sit-down earlier in the sunshine and their coats smelled all warm and cozy when we brought them back in.  Violet turns into a noodle when she gets warm and just melts into your arms if you have to pick her up.  Her brain melts as well, and has selective hearing loss when she has to come in the house at what she considers an inopportune time.

Opal, our shepherd, is especially difficult to get back into the house.  Her favorite thing to do in life is to run up and down the fence-line with the 2 dogs next-door (whose owner I love, though I'm not so keen on her big dogs---barking fools that they are).  Anyway, I was hanging out those sheets and the big dogs were out with me.  Middle daughter called Opal to come in so she could let out the pugs (Opal tends to enjoy grabbing Violet around her middle and tossing her---not a good idea, though Violet thinks it's a stitch).  Opal high-tailed it into the house in an instant.  I asked middle daughter what her trick was and she answered me with, "I said, Opal, come inside."  Then she cracked up.  The joke's on me because I don't get no respect from Opal---often being driven to crack the wooden spoon against the door frame to get any response.  Maybe if I talk all sweet and adorable it'd work.  Not likely.

Now off to read.  Dogs all napping in the house.  Neighbor dogs quiet as well.  It's waffles and some sort of sausage balls for dinner...the sausage will stretch further if I do those.  It's all about the cafeteria-style, loading up the plates mentality around here.  A girl could go crazy with the amount of food and toilet paper this household goes through.  Man alive.

(opal looking all smarmy for the camera back when it snowed)

Yesterday

For the past 36 hours or so, life has slowed to a near stop at our house, and here in town (photo not of our home).  A storm literally ripped through the city just before lunchtime on Monday, knocking down trees and creating lots of havoc.  At one point I was standing in the living room, listening to the wind and watching the weather updates and I told one of the kids that suddenly the wind just sounded different, and different in a bad way--it's like it was fuller and deeper-sounding.  I'd never heard anything like it.  Turns out a tornado was spotted a couple of miles from here, so maybe......just maybe that's what I heard.  Whatever it was, it tore some shingles from the roof, but thankfully our old oak tree survived and we're all fine.

But still, it's odd how the world keeps going at it when life for us has been a bit odd.  It's strange to drive through the neighborhood and see trees through roofs and in one case, the front gable of a house was sitting in the front yard after being shoved off the house from the back by a huge oak. And that's just in the next block up from us.

Many of our neighbors are without power, but we only lost our Internet/cable t.v. connection for over a day.  Not a huge loss, but enough to separate us from the outside world for a bit.  Anyway, a sweet friend will help Gary repair the roof later on this week, and that's a relief.  The insurance company was playing hard to get in terms of being agreeable to help, which is interesting in itself considering how much money we've poured into their pockets over the years.  Sadly typical.

Life goes on, no matter what, it just does.  And that's a huge blessing.  Normal stuff.  Sometimes I just crave it.

(photo from the commercial appeal, the local newspaper)

Saturday afternoon

Annoying pugs barking at with the idiot dog who lives next door.  I'm not a fan of Labradors (though we have one, maybe that's why), because they bark for no reason ALL the time.  Least they're cheerful, but are sort of stupid.  Must go fetch the pugs in a minute, because they're not acting very mature either.

And boiling water for noodles that'll go in macaroni and cheese for tonight's dinner.  We leave for church in about 45 minutes, so trying to get things underway so there's not much to do later.  Took the kids to the museum near us this morning to see the thousands of tulips they'd put in, plus a pretty great art exhibit.  Then we all worked together to do the yard.  I got to weed-eat, which is a personal favorite, though I'm out of practice and the edge is a bit lousy.  OK, a lot a bit lousy.

Anyway, that's what's up here.  Going to take it easy tomorrow and might take a personal day on Monday.  Don't have to take Mom to the physical therapist until Tuesday morning, so some time just for me might be a good idea.

Hope everyone else has as pretty weather as we're having.  All the neighbors are out talking and working, and walking their dogs.  I do love this old, shabby spot of town.

Friday's notes

Gracious me.  Life is busy.  Woke up late, which seems to be my habit of a Friday.  The week catches up with me by then, and you'll usually find me sleeping in after the kids have gotten up.  Oh well, least it probably prevents my head from exploding, yes?

Took my mom to her 1pm physical therapy session, and while she seemed a bit anxious when we got there, by the time she was done, her whole mood had changed.  Got her endorphins kicking in, most likely.  And she was standing up straighter and even her speech was clearer.  I read a book lately with an elderly character having a fall and a broken arm as well, and the author mentioned her voice being shaky after the accident.  I've noticed that about my mom as well---when she feels unsure, her words are a bit trembly.  Not so after the therapy.  She goes again twice next week and we'll see after that how much more help will be necessary.

Now the weekend spills out ahead of me and with the temperatures to be around 80, I think we're in for a delightful couple of days.  Groceries are in the house, the clothes are all washed (for now!), and I feel hopeful.  Can't see very far ahead of me what God has planned, but He provided for our 'literal' daily bread in a very sweet way for the weekend and for that, I'm very grateful.

One last thing...hope you enjoy the header photo.  Every spring, oldest daughter brings me a bouquet of wisteria and Lady Bank's roses from the antique shop where she works.  Every year she does this, and I look forward to it every time.  This year I just plopped them into the turquoise Mason jar without any arranging, stuck it on the bookshelf, and they instantly made the room look prettier.  Gary took the photo, which required no tweaking at all.  Just perfection as it was. :)

Must go now.  Take care.