Sometimes life with God gets down and to the heart of things (or of us, as the case may be). I've been so waylaid by my mom's broken arm situation that I've not felt myself in weeks and weeks. The house has pouted for feeling left behind, and our homeschooling has been more creatively done, to say the least. This week makes it 3 months since she fell, and it's been a really long period of time, let me tell you.
Now that Mom's able to drive short distances (as of this week), her life ought to be taking on more of a normalcy. Mine as well. Supposedly she drove herself to church yesterday, but I'm not sure since we've not talked. And I think she's planning on driving herself to her physical therapy this week too. Fortunately it's in her neighborhood, so that's a blessing. She didn't tell me which days she's to go, so I'm thinking she was deliberately keeping me from knowing, so she could take care of it herself. But that's just me thinking that.
As to the life with God part of this post, with Gary's work in the shop being sloooooooooooow, my prayers have grown more gritty. I get so frustrated when I pray and it appears that the Lord is silent. I get antsy and wonder what I'm doing wrong. Am I holding my mouth right, withholding forgiveness from anyone, or just plain unlovable? So many thoughts spin through my head as I wait on the Lord, and while I could often win awards for patience, usually I'm long on that virtue with humans, but not so much with God. Guess I want instantaneous results more often than not.
And dealing with this darn cold which makes my brain work ineffectively. My spirits are sort of willing, but my physical self---not so much.
Just a ragamuffin. Even after walking alongside the Lord all these many years, I still feel myself losing faith and scratching my head. I've not got things figured out, and was led to believe as a child by my elders that adulthood was full of wisdom and success. Huh. Guess I've got to attain more age first. Not a clue.
And here's another thing. Christians are fond of using the line that says, "God is never early but always right on time." I hate that. I put it in the same category with "This too will pass." Not helpful, but only irritating.
Thankfully He is ever patient with me, even as I wring my hands and grit my teeth. I definitely act in a childish way and wonder if His remarks about coming to Him as a child include our tantrums. I can only hope so.
