Have been looking at homey/decorative/crafty/baking sorts of blogs. The spots where women dress up the table before dinner. Where they plate the meal, so that it looks like t.v. food. Where a room has tiny little vignettes of pretty scattered here and there. I love sites like this. The ones that raise homemaking beyond putting away the folded laundry and cleaning the bathroom. Places where beauty reigns. I want to be that sort of person again. And while I realize that some of these online/blogging women are just as muddled as I am, they
do make an effort. I've not done that in ages. 'Course the heat doesn't help.
I admit to allowing depression to be too dominate in my life, not that that's an easy ailment to divert. But I'm tired of it. Actually, I'm tired of being tired. Of greeting the day, first off, with 'oh yippee, here we go again'...of not being excited, but just being tolerant of whatever the day throws at me. That's no way to be, but honestly, it's hard to escape from.
I've become a person who reacts to what's presented instead of having a deliberate hand in planning what happens to me.
A change sounds wonderful. Baby steps, here I come. Don't hold your breath, though. This'll take awhile. A really l-o-n-g while.
(photo by my woodboy of the cute scoop he made)
