More tangled thoughts

It's a sad, but true fact that the way we perceive ourselves through our parents and siblings can come back to haunt us at anytime.  I sort of broke down today while in the parking lot at the dental school.  I'd left fourth son at his appointment, and because we were downtown, I stuck around, not wanting to desert him.  Anyway, walked next door to the McD for a bag lunch and brought it back to my truck, which was in the paying parking lot behind the school.  Was texting Gary for a minute, while he was working on something at his shop, being that that's sometimes easier when he's gluing things up and all.  Anyway.

Have been so frustrated at the lack of communication with my brothers, one in particular.  He's harsh and doesn't want to hear what I have to say.  This on the heels of my mom not wanting the kids to come over to visit her regularly, and she's not been interested in seeing them in over a month. Yes, even over Christmas.  Get your head around that fact.  Two shut doors.  I admit to feeling a bit sorry for myself, but don't know as it's all unjustified.

Told Gary that it made me feel unlovely and rejected for the two situations to happen within weeks of one another.

See, I still want my family's approval.  Might want to focus my view a tad closer to home, eh?  It was sweet to get home late this afternoon to a hug from middle daughter.  Just a simple hug, not for any reason but she was glad we were back.  Total acceptance.  She doesn't like it, even at 14, when her people are spread out all over the place, and is deeply satisfied when everyone is at home in their own beds at night.  She doesn't ask for much, and I admire that simplicity.  As they say, "Here's where it's at."  Need to remember that.