I was praying about it this morning, pretty wired up and needing to feel settled. The main thing I felt the Lord tell me was to just focus on my own family and let my mom's business alone. Let it be, and allow it to play out by itself. Really anything I could do would just sort of 'stir the pot' anyhow, so walking away seems appropriate at this juncture.
Breathe.
One thing I've had trouble in the past with is recognizing that I don't have to be attempting perfection for the Lord to bless me. Way before my present Anglican journey I inhaled lots of teaching that was works oriented. It's hard to get past that. To know that I really will never get things completely right, and it's okay to not try for that all the time. Life doesn't have be one big grueling experience. And know what? It's alright to totally mess up. I find that fact pretty darn refreshing.
And in addition, I'm experiencing small joys that seem to be directed solely at me. Just me and God getting a tickle out of our relationship. Pretty cool.
