As the title of this post says: The Facts.
I'm feeling my age, more the last couple of years than ever before. I've been homeschooling for about 20 years or so. I'm tired more often than not. I don't appear to have any health problems that a regular regime of walking around the block won't cure. I'm hard on myself. I expect more than I'm able to accomplish. Rarely do I do anything creative JUST FOR ME to assuage the monotony. Seems I'm unable to make time for it. There's always something to clean, or fetch, or let out in the backyard, or hang up, etc.. And no, I don't tend to be a Martha. It's just the way of it in a house with 10 people.
On the flip side, I have lots to be thankful for. My husband really does adore me, which makes me scratch my head, especially since he's extra-dishy. That's a bonus. I don't often feel I deserve the love and affection he pours on me. The kids are all good, rarely rebellious (that we're aware of), and they love the Lord. Some demonstrate it better and more regularly than others, but I don't worry about their souls. We have a safe place to live, and for the most part, enjoy our neighbors---(except when they have fights in the front yard and call the police on themselves). We are all healthy, and the kids who are old enough are all holding down jobs. The church we go to is excellent and fills a need that needed filling. This is all good.
But still, the blessings, while they outweigh the frustrations, don't cancel them out. Life is still hard (and yes, I realize this true for lots of folks---I'm not special with this).
When I gradually lost the older kids to their full-time jobs, the degree of cleanliness inside disintegrated. I think the younger ones became so dependent on their older siblings doing certain jobs, that they continued being the babies. There's always been someone to take up the slack. I believe it's time to assign more jobs around here, so I'm not so burdened. I really am spread too thin.
Well. If you've gotten this far, you've gotten an earful, eh? Nothing that most homeschool moms haven't already experienced. Life is full, and in a good way, but difficult at those times when it gets a bit ragged. And just talking this out helps.
Must go now. Time to fetch 4th son at his job and then go to the store. Thanks for listening. :)
