I figure my blogging reputation is one of a person who, pretty much, tells it like it is. Not looking for the pretty aspect of life, so much as the accurate one. I take that back. I'd prefer life not be so difficult so the darling stuff would outweigh the things that drive me nuts. But as it is, and generally stays, we're cutting that idea close.
Got to thinking on things last night, or tried to. I was sitting in the dark on the front porch, and it was cool and nice out there. Then after about five minutes, our across-the-street neighbors decided to congregate out on their porch, talking VERY LOUD so that I could hear every word. I just don't get that. And when they get on the phone it's worse. Why people have to be so noisy I do not understand. It's like they're competing for air time.
Well. Then I figured I'd go out back and sit. I've got it figured out that (have done this before) if the neighbors get loud, I can be in the backyard and our house sort of serves as a barrier, and I can't hear them so well. So, here we go again. With the dogs inside and the chickens all cooped up, that seemed appealing. That is, until the Pugs realized I was outside and they told oldest daughter to let them out. Okay fine. They did their business and I put them back inside, and whattayaknow but 10 minutes later, they were pulling the same stunt though they'd asked a different child to open the door. Clever. I like spending time with them too, but all the time? No.
I just wanted to be by myself. It'd been a busy day anyhow with taking fourth son to the dental school. We got out early there, which was a nice change, but still, we were out and about. I do love being at home. But even so, I like being here alone sometimes, which never happens anymore.
What a whiner.
I have a hard time being thankful when I'm frustrated. And when I'm frustrated, it's difficult to see the blessings that are smack in front of my face. Round and round I go. And then I beat myself up about all of it, thinking that unless I hold my mouth right, the Lord will turn away from me. That's not how He works, though. Considering I can never hold it right, it's best to just avoid going there in my head. Grace and mercy aren't performance-based gifts (an excellent tattoo idea---though it'd be rather large). Thank goodness for that (the grace and mercy part---not the tattoo).
So, that said, I'll continue to wait on the Lord. He forgives my frustration, and even so, is there. Just sometimes He's very, very silent.
