The best part of today was military son texting me, asking if I could give him a ride to work. Last week I'd mailed him a letter getting mildly mushy (and following the Lord's nudging in writing it) and telling him I wanted to look ahead with our relationship---explaining my passion in how I've reacted to his lifestyle (and his oldest brother's), and how hard it is to see them living contrary to how we raised them. But, that I still wanted them to come by, not to feel uncomfortable in being here, but that we stand by our standards. All stuff he knows, but I wanted his fiance to be given the chance to read it too. She wasn't raised the same, but she's not heard any of this from us, only what he's told her. I stressed that I want him to be part of US. We need each other.
And while tough love has its place, I'm more into just plain old love instead. I'm tired of all the grief, and just want us to pull together. Don't want to have to continually second-guess myself, asking if I'm being firm enough. If you could've seen the two girls in the backseat of the Suburban with him while we were driving, you'd agree that I've made the right choice. At one point the least one had her head in this son's lap and he was playing with her hair. Then they got to horsing around and tickling each other. Can't put a price on that. I know he's missed us. Sure know we've missed him. (Brings tears to my eyes to re-read this.)
Family, you know. Can't beat that.
He knows we disapprove, but to me, that doesn't mean you totally isolate him. I realize some would disagree, believing that the isolation will cause a yearning. Can't say as I'm convinced.
For a mom, that is the hardest to contemplate. Wanting to reach out in love, and being prevented from that. No. Glad Gary's understanding of how I feel. He's tough, though. Probably a good thing.
Now looking forward to a weekend off. My mom's all set with groceries until Tuesday. Gary's birthday is Monday, and the weekend is totally free from obligations. I'm sort of giddy about it.
