Herbal goodness and a birthday

Took one son to Whole Foods this evening after dinner to get the remaining ingredients for Rosemary Gladstar's Fire Cider, or a fair copy.  Something new to me, it's made of raw horseradish, raw ginger root, jalapeno peppers, onion, lots of garlic---layered in a jar and then weighted and covered with unfiltered apple cider vinegar.  Set aside for up to a month, then strained and flavored with raw honey.  Saves all through the winter, and is said to help stave off the creepies. Looking forward to mixing it all up, and will hunt down some plastic gloves.  Makes me happy to do this stuff.  I could make tinctures, etc. all day and be content.  That being said, I have an Elderberry tincture and an Echinacea one to strain and bottle up tomorrow.  I'll be busy.

And just ordered some herbs online at Mountain Rose Herbs (things I can't find at the hippy store here) to fill capsules for winter's additional healing if we're hit with coughs.  I'm thinking the flu won't call at our door since we all had it last year and it seems we get about 12 months worth of immunity.  That's been the case in the past.

And tomorrow is middle daughter's sixteenth birthday.  Fun.  Deep dish apple pie (instead of cake) for dessert and Spanakopita (with chicken) for dinner.  More fun.  And in addition to middle daughter's gifts, we found two cups and saucers (at TJ Maxx) for both her and the least one, so they both get a gift first thing in the morning.  Bought them a cinnamon roll to split too.  Can't wait to see what they say about them.  

Going to settle into the rest of the night now.  I bought two bars of soap at the store tonight as well.  Almond is one and the other is called Dirty Hippie and is made of Patchouli and Nutmeg, heavy on the Patchouli.  Smells delicious.  A hot bath sounds nice.  Then will find something easy to read in bed---had begun and gotten pretty far in William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury and it makes my brain hurt.  So different from the book of his I read last week and enjoyed so much.  I need a break from thinking.

Time for quiet.

Mid-week

The General Confession (guaranteed to make me cry, every week)

ALMIGHTY and most merciful Father; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have offended against thy holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And there is no health in us. But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. Spare thou those, O God, who confess their faults. Restore thou those who are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind In Christ Jesus our Lord. And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name. Amen. ~from 1928 Book of Common Prayer

Listening to For King and Country's CD.  Oh my.  I know I've mentioned them before, but bears re-mentioning.  The name of the CD is Run Wild, Live Free, Love Strong, and is wonderful.  The songs Shoulders and It's Not Over Yet are my favorites.  When oldest daughter plays it in her car, the sound is a m a z i n g, since her speakers really go to town.   The second song I mentioned played LOUD is the best.  You feel like God can do anything.  Well, He can, but you believe it.  Linking it here.  I can't check to see how the link works...with our new Internet through our T-Mobile account we've already used our supply of 4G, and are limited to (though an endless supply) of 2G.  Can't watch videos, but we're not complaining.  A lesser bill is a fine balance.  Feels so funny, going backwards.  Cancelling cable and using the roof antennae again, and our 2G with the Internet is like our old phone Internet....well, not quite that slow. :)  Yeah, first world problems.

Feeling blessed.  Gary's had such an endless run of work these past two months.  Our house note being cut in half is wild, and being able to pay the bills on time, plus just the relief of not feeling so tapped financially is truly incredible.  It's deeply contenting.  

And I'm learning to take life in littler bites.  But mind, this has to be re-learned on a daily basis.  Heard from son who's engaged, after I asked if his fiance could/would come for dessert/or the whole meal for Thanksgiving.  He said she would.  Immediately I felt anxiety, then prayed and released it to the Lord.  I feel peace today.  We'll look ahead, and not behind. And remember, I'll have to keep setting this in God's lap.  I'll have the tendency to over-clean and just make myself miserable.  Also considering we'll invite my mom, who's a bit of a challenge---well, Thanksgiving should prove to be an interesting day.  But we'll make it.  Asking them is the right thing to do.  Doesn't mean it's easy, but it's right.

With firstborn son's girlfriend going out of town with her family to NC, he'll be here as well and that guarantees all my chickens will be around my table.  What a lot has happened in 12 months.  By God's grace we've survived. 

No drama, least not immediately.  I don't want anymore of that stuff.

Pugs in a blanket

Just now.... On a chilly day.  Violet is all snug.

Tuesday morning

A bit misty outside, and should rain in awhile.  I'm lying in bed, window open, and can hear a dove in the Oak tree in the backyard.  The chickens are all settled in the corner of their run, just fluffed up and thinking about things.  Quiet. Nice.

I find that lately I'm craving silence so much.  Way too much noise in my life.  I read a piece by Lanier at The Rabbit Room about that same topic.  And while a 'get away' would be ideal, for most of us, we have to take it as we can find it.  And to find it at home seems to be the way.  Not the easiest process. Going to make today a restorative time.  At least that's the plan at this very moment.

~ ~ ~

With a busy weekend behind me, I'm taking my week more slowly.  And am planning on us taking a break with no church duties the weekend of the 8th of November.  Will ask someone else to do the flowers, acolyte for the least one, and will take a pause from teaching children's Sunday school.  

~ ~ ~

Youngest son is at the shop with Gary today.  This son has been a bit of a challenge lately, not in a disrespectful sense, but just annoying.  He drives the girls nuts as well.  And I told Gary, it appears that most of my boys doubt my wisdom a good bit of the time.  He blames it on a natural rift between mom and sons, not so much a disrespect issue, but a denial of moms having much going on.  He seems to be speaking from experience.  Huh.  Not too crazy about being thought of as being low in the intelligence scale.  To my boys (at least the majority), I'm the mom who may have a college degree, but is still just a mom.  Maybe to them I excel in mediocrity.  Not going to dwell on that one.

No hard tasks lined up for today.  Make shortbread---the butter is out on the counter now, softening up.  Tidy and maybe hang the fall wreaths.  I'm late doing that.  Maybe I excel at puttering?

I recently read a book (can't think of the title, but it sounds like an Elizabeth Berg or Carrie Brown type of story, but can't remember), about a young woman who had lost her husband the previous year and had a small daughter.  For a full year she'd stayed in bed and had totally withdrawn.  She was living with her mother-in-law, I think, and was finally waking up mentally from the despair of her husband's loss.  The story next goes into she and her daughter skipping town and truly allowing themselves to experience life again.  Great story, but can't place it.  While I've not had to deal with a death in the past 12-18 months, there have been an over-abundance of difficulties.  But life is beginning in small ways to glimmer, and I'm waking up again to my own life.  In that space of time three sons have moved out and two of those have moved in directions contrary to their upbringing.  My mom has lost her independence, leaning on me more and more, so I've misplaced my mother in one sense with her stroke affecting her ability to be the adult.  Many changes in a tight space of time.

Hard realities.  But you know what helps?  This might sound silly, but Gary says that these boys have chosen the paths they're on.  They're really happy with what they're doing.  I tend to think someone has tricked them, taken over their minds (and maybe these girls have, but my boys aren't mindless idiots) and made them be rotten.  And honestly, in her odd little way, thankfully my mom is happy as well.  Anti-depressants have helped in that area, I'm sure.  She doesn't know how to cry anymore, and a stroke is definitely cause for tears.  So, the three individuals who tap my joy can be checked off as requiring so much of my mental energy.  I cause myself undo angst.

~ ~ ~

But, the thing is, I have to look past the difficulties and get on with it, so they say.  In the new Jan Karon there's a perfect quote.  

"We, however, need to keep praying ad trusting God, and moving ahead to things like lunch and dry-cleaning and a dozen eggs at the Local." ~from Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good

Pray, trust the Lord, and LIVE.  Repeat the next day.

I just have to do today, and that has to be enough.  Sufficient to the day..., you know.

Monday's news

~our church participated in the neighborhood Fall Festival yesterday...stuff and nonsense

The tail-end of a very nice day.  Cleaned up the kitchen better than usual, and felt good inside---my insides.  No depression, but a bit of anxiety for a couple of things.  The norm for me.  I tend to fret and expect too much of myself.  I can have an exquisite time and something will sneak up on me, ruining an otherwise great day.  Have to keep on top of that.

Even got my mom's groceries in and delivered at her house with help from two youngest girls---bed changed, bathroom cleaned, coffee pot ready for the morning, started a load of clothes, tidied up, etc.  Gave her some of the bean and ham soup/cornbread I made for us.  She rarely gets homemade food being a fan of frozen dinners, so that was probably a treat.  Left her in good spirits, chowing down.  Click.  Turn off head.

~ ~ ~

And talked to Gary about asking the fiance-of-son-who-lives-with-her to dessert on Thanksgiving.  They'd already decided to go to their separate parents' houses for turkey.  Figure it's a good idea to offer.  Being that we've not talked to her since before the great blow-up when he moved out in August, it'd be wonderful if the communication could be restored.  Not like inviting a daughter-in-law over, but I want to try.  He gets along with all of us---we've really worked on it, praying lots and lots.  There's an elephant in the room when he's here, you know what I mean, but at least he'll come over.  Not a lot, but still, it's better than nothing.  When he's here, it's like he's always on guard.  Shoot, we're done fussing.  What's done is done.  Just got plow ahead now.  And wait on God's timing.

~ ~ ~

And in other news, got a pile of books at the library sale on Saturday.  I'll just mention a few authors I got: Miss Read, William Faulkner, William Butler Yeats, Susan Minot, EF Delafield, EB White, Mary Emmerling, Gail Godwin, Hal Borland, Thomas Hardy, Baroness Orczy, Markus Zusak's The Book Thief, Carrie Brown, Linda Nichols (a favorite contemporary author), and a Bailey White that'll make you crave cornbread while you're reading it.  The Bailey White is Quite a Year for Plums and the first time I read it, I just laughed and laughed, and honestly, I put the book down, made cornbread, sliced tomatoes and fished some green onions out of the fridge.  A perfect lunch.

If I got anything else I can't remember, but pretty nice haul, yes?  Now must weed out some of my own gluttonous collection.  I really am a pig.

I got the Faulkner partly because of going to Oxford, and totally loved one of his I read last week---it was a copy I'd been toting around since college, but hadn't remembered reading it. It's Intruder in the Dust, and for anyone not from the South, it's the perfect book to tell it like it is.  Exactly my experience.  I don't use the word 'awesome' very often, considering it sort of cliche anymore, but this book is awesome with a capital awe.  Kept nodding my head all through it and the ending is priceless.   Only a Southerner could get it right like Faulkner.

Oh, and borrowed a copy of Marilynne Robinson's newest book Lila, and read it in two days.  Yes.  Lived up to my expectations.  Read her book Gilead right after, if you've not already.

I've got more to say, but will resist.  Enough for now.

Internet stuff

First off I apologize for not being a faithful blog neighbor the past few days.  Gary's been in the thick of cancelling Comc*ast and has been boxing up the gadgets that needed returning.  Did that today.  Then went to T-Mob*ile, who we have our phones with and got a hotspot set up in the house for our Internet connection, to replace the one from Comc*ast.  

Now here's the cool thing about our television connection since the cable was disconnected along with the Internet.  Gary researched online and found out how to build a homemade antenna (though you can get them at Best*Buy). Our reception is better and while you don't get all the cable channels, and besides, who needs them, there's a decent amount of stations coming through.  He said he scanned 19 channels the other night.  He even gets better reception.  I say 'he' because he tends to watch in the evenings, and I only do on Sunday nights.  The kids are sporadic in watching, since we're pretty strict about their tv watching.

So, with canceling Comc*ast, that bill is gone.  And oddly enough, our phone bill is less, partly because we got a deal, and because we've been with T-Mob*ile for 17 years (even before they had that name), and they love us.  Pays to stick with companies sometimes.

But what blows my mind is using an antenna and getting more than local stations, and for free.  I never knew that was even possible, so maybe partly that's my steep learning curve.  And while it looks like we're becoming more archaic, we're happier.  Spending less really is amazing.  One son commented that with our re-doing our housenote and having that less, and doing this stuff, he's afraid the electricity and water is next.  

Not a pretty blogging post, but an informative one.  May you learn from it.  :)

The end of a sweet day...

Gosh I'm yakky today.  That's what sleep will do for a person, I reckon.  More please.

I did enjoy this morning.  Got up at 7:15 and went out to sit with the chickens.  Gary made me a bench and put it in the chicken run.  I'd not been sitting there 5 minutes before Milk hopped in my lap.  Cozy on my bathrobe.  Nora followed after him, both of them snuggled inside my arms.  Can you even imagine the joy this gives me?  Chickens in my lap.  Never gets old.  Milk was all prickly because she's molting.  Had to hold her gently because the molting tends to make them a bit edgy, and I've read that they get sore.

I'd given them all a bowl of wheat flake cereal in milk (Nora has a weakness for bowls of cold milk), and after Milk and Nora had finished, Anastasia and Madelyn ate the leavings.  They hopped up on the bench next to me when they were done.  All of us sitting like we were waiting for a bus. 

Guess I am truly the Chicken Whisperer.  Talk sweetly and softly, move gently and they'll be your pals.  I do love them so.

Must go now.  Am out of words.