Muttering to myself

Favorite chair

Sometimes I get all angsty about our finances, which is normal for me.  Self-employment can be stinky, and here's a good example:  While Gary's made a tidy sum selling his wooden vapors (to substitute for the smoker's patch), it's not enough to keep our heads above water.  He got a call from a woman last week who's been talking about a tabletop she wants built to go on a newly-made iron base.  She was supposed to come in yesterday at noon-time to talk about it and finalize the design.  She didn't call, didn't show up and Gary called her late yesterday.  She apologized for not getting back, and said there was a family medical issue that had come up and she'd get back to him when she knew what was going on.  She gave no clue as to when this would be.

Huh.

If I'm feeling insecure, a situation like this can really set me back.  But as it is, my faith is steady now, or maybe I'm just refusing to give in to doubts.  Regardless, I know God's got us covered.  He knew this would happen, and while allowing for it, will take care of us. Not always my initial thought, but it should be.

And, yes, there are some bills that are late, but when my heart's settled, then that's okay too.  Well, maybe not okay, but more like acceptable.  I do harbor envy sometimes, though, for those whose husbands make a regular paycheck which allows for taking care of the necessities (and then some).  Folks with that work situation are blessed in a way that I never have been, even as a child with a self-employed father.  Different situations and different folks.  It's how we all roll.

And it's not a grudge-holding envy, in case that crosses anyone's mind.  It's more of a thinking that wonders if people realize how fortunate they are.  Like the family at church who have a nine-year old daughter who's dealing with cancer.  I would figure they'd wonder if those who have all well children appreciate their kids' health.  Probably not.  I know I can't get my head around living with the stress of a chronically ill child.

As we say at our house---everyone's got something to deal with.  I'd rather have our financial tight times than a rocky marriage, rebellious kids, or challenging illnesses.  None of us pass through unscathed, do we?

(and btw, have turned off comments for awhile, following the lead of my friend, Kim....have done it in the past briefly, and trying it on for size again...my email is located at my profile...just sayin'!)