We've always told my mom that a nursing home (as a last ditch alternative) is out of the question. My dad's mom was put in one after my grandfather died. It wasn't the first choice, the main one being for her to stay at home and have cleaning help. And an uncle lived right next door, so you'd think it'd work. But, no. She was a bit combative with the help, and dug herself a tidy hole. My dad and mom offered to have her at our house, but his older brothers put the kibosh on that and it never happened. Away to the nursing home you go.
Gary was talking to his folks the other day about our situation with my mom. They were very understanding, and as he was talking to me about it, Gary said, "Well, they both put parents in nursing homes." My MIL found a place for her mother (not biological, but the one who raised her) who had Alzheimer's and they also found a spot for Gary's grandfather after his wife died. The one for my MIL's mom was specially for Alzheimer's patients. There was no practical way they could have cared for her, but with G's grandfather, it was more of a senior living situation. Not the wicked nursing homes folks talk about.
A close neighbor said the nursing home plan might be necessary. I pray that isn't so, since I'll be the one to live it down. It's almost like if that's the final alternative, then my mother gives the impression that she in a tiny, odd way wants to be in a disagreeable situation so she can be the victim. That might not make sense to you, but it really does to me.
Good grief, life is crazy. Pray, pray, pray---then pray some more.
