Well, you'd think I'd learn. And while I'm at it, would like to experience extended family that's not dysfunctional. Please?
Brothers not helping one darn bit. Unless the youngest of my older brothers really steps up to the plate, and with Mom being discharged from the hospital rehab on Friday----he'd better work fast. Oldest brother is lacking in compassion as to the in's and out's of tending to Mom in a home setting, talking more like she's a puppy in a crate than a human being who requires interaction and not just cleaning up after. He's a bit clueless. But then, he's not offered to be of any help whatsoever. Going so far as to calling the social worker, then calling me and telling me I needed to talk to her, because he doesn't understand why I can't be Mom's caretaker. He sees no problem with us taking her in. He continually washes his hands of any involvement. Avoidance doesn't make stuff go away.
We took Mom's cell phone to her the other day, and she's been able to call her sister daily (who lives in town) and anyone else whose number is on her phone. Gary mentioned to her over the weekend that we were sick, oldest daughter and I being sicker than the bunch. He was explaining to her why I'd not been up there. I'm thinking flu, but don't really know. Here's what I deal with----my mom, who is fully able to talk on the phone, hasn't called to see how we're doing, and I've not been able to go visit her since last Wednesday. Yes, she's recovering from a stroke, but our whole house is sick. Stroke trumps flu? She's baaaaaack.
Maybe I ask for too much, but the way I see it, no matter where you are in the picture, simple courtesy is always appreciated. And being that my mom is of a narcissistic temperament, I refuse to allow her stroke to dictate how I behave. I'm thankful we made peace, but she really needs to acknowledge at some point what's going on with the rest of us. I repeat---avoidance doesn't make stuff go away.
