Fridays. One of my favorite days of the week. Today there's a tiny bit of stress, though, not having heard back since Tuesday from the couple who have offered their van. Supposedly they're hunting down the title. I so get that mentality---me, the person who never remembers where I put things. The husband shared with my woodboy some issues with the van over and beyond the transmission being rebuilt 20,000 miles ago, being very blunt, and it makes me a bit antsy. He won't let his wife drive it with the kids in it, but is okay giving it away. Gary flew right by that comment, but I was left scratching my head. Given that we'll have to drive it from their house over the river to get it here, I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid.
Okay, I am paranoid. Life has been too paranoid-producing these past few months (and I'm sure you're tired of that old song and dance) and we're in the mode of just waiting for the next slap-down. Not a healthy attitude, but it's the only one I've got to go on now.
Now, don't fuss at me. Just trying to build up my courage again. A daily challenge. Gary and I both feel as if someone consistently has their foot poised to trip us up, and we keep falling over it. Literally.
I read a quote in The Reivers last night which was so spot on, I could've written it myself. Correction. I'm no Faulkner, but the quote was perfect for my mental state. And is today.
"Because what I wanted was to be back home. I wanted my mother. Because you should be prepared for experience, knowledge, knowing: not bludgeoned unaware in the dark as by a highwayman or footpad. I was just eleven, remember. There are things, circumstances, conditions in the world which should not be there but are, and you cant escape them and indeed, you would not escape them even if you had the choice, since they too are a part of Motion, of participating in life, being alive. But they should arrive with grace, decency. I was having to learn too much too fast, unassisted; I had nowhere to put it, no receptacle, pigeonhole prepared yet to accept it without pain and lacerations."
When you feel as I do (we do) now, folks who are living comfortably have the tendency to try to set you straight, get you out of your doldrums. Commiseration is more appropriate now. Understanding and compassion. I'm waiting for the eternal shoe to drop, and unfortunately, it keeps on dropping. A quiet weekend with no, absolutely no, drama would be nice.
Positives: We have the money from the girl's insurance settlement on the Suburban in our hot little hands. A blessing, and you wonder what the heck's the problem, huh? Indecision, I guess. We have the rental until Thursday, which is nice. I think we need dinner out. :)
